It hurts, but I do it anyway

[braves_fan05]

So the guy I like (or as some of you see it, I'm in love with), asked me for advice on a relationship he was pursuing. I helped him out and talked with him for hours. As much as it hurt for me to give him advice and tell him how he should go about asking the other person out, I did it anyway, because I know deep down that I'd want to see him happy ...maybe one day...

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

Hey, you're a good man, and did the honorable thing. I just got rejected, too, only I got rejected outright, rather than being rejected for somebody else. It's tough being placed in the friend box. You ever heard of "ladder theory"? It's a funny read, especially because it rings true: once you're in the friend box, it's really hard to get out. I try not to let people I'm interested in come to me for relationship advice, but it's easier said than done, and then I always end up being the "good friend."

Among straight guys, there's the expression "bros before hos." What would be the same-sex equivalent statement meaning you should value your friendships über alles, because true friends will stay with you through good times and bad times, while love-interests are fickle? There should be some kind of clever rhyme like that. "Bros before ???"

 

[DiaryOfAMadman]

Yea it is very difficult being put into that situation. I know that it tore me appart while he was seeking advice from me. It was very hard to not try and purposly sabotage his new relationship by giving him some bad information. But I was honest and tried helping out. I guess it worked he went on to have what was apparently a great 1 or 2 year relationship.

 

[slobone]

Hey, if his current relationship doesn't work out, maybe he'll remember who it was who was there for him when he needed them. You might be better off in the long run.

 

[gotdimples77]

Hey, if his current relationship doesn't work out, maybe he'll remember who it was who was there for him when he needed them. You might be better off in the long run.

maybe you should not so subtly remind him of this if he forgets...

 

[manformanfun]

bros before 'mos

 

[Roland00]

Sorry man, just by chance is your friend gay? If so it would be even harder

 

[Riverrick]

I think you should have told him. Why should you withhold your feelings in this situation? Who put you last in line here?

He may not be able to reciprocate but at least you'll get it all out and maybe be able to move on with your life.

I say take your spot in life and participate when its your turn. That's your right.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Hey, if his current relationship doesn't work out, maybe he'll remember who it was who was there for him when he needed them. You might be better off in the long run.

I agree. You never know. Life is funny like that.

 

[confusedboy23]

Riverrick is right - you should have told him how you felt. Although we like to hang on to that little bit of hope that perhaps if it didn't work out between them, we'd be next in line - this feeling sucks and it does drains your life away. As hard as it is, I am now trying to be happy for someone who is happy with someone else! Maybe then, we can be happier ourselves too.

 

[braves_fan05]

Sorry man, just by chance is your friend gay? If so it would be even harder

No he isn't. Which would change some of your perspectives and replies. Unless he is in the closet, like I am. But that may just be wishful thinking...