The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

It's about time

No, I was never put into this type of situation. Thankfully I didn't get in touch with him because he is desperate. A few moments ago he told me he would come out to everyone just for a relationship with me; he is moving too fast and I'm not interested. We've never even had a conversation past 5 minutes before so it's kinda weird to be approached this way, hence why I want nothing to do with him.
 
I mean, I'm sure you were closeted, confused, lonely. He needs someone right now, and you're just blowing him off. Or maybe he's trying to gain sympathy lol
 
I would say, be kind, and tell him you are not interested, but also offer him your friendship, making it CLEAR that it is ONLY that, and not a stepping stone for him.

You would want all the support you could get if you were him.

That said, I know some gay guys who just have this desperate vibe going that is extremely off-putting. I understand them, I am sorry for them, but I can't force myself to socialize with them :/
 
bhandsome said:
So last night an old classmate of mine found me on Adam4Adam. A few years back he sent me a message on Facebook trying to hook up with me and I declined and told him I wasn't gay (denial at the time). He told me how he had the longest crush on me and always wanted to make out with me; I felt he was moving a little too fast and made me kinda uncomfortable, but I continued to talk to him. He told me he wanted to take me out to a movie/dinner and I told him I would consider it. Even though I really wouldn't...

I asked him if he has told anybody he was gay and he told me he's told close friends but will NEVER tell his family. Today I sent him a message telling him I will never consider going out with him because my journey consist of being honest with myself and my family and without doing so will lead to an unhappy life.

I feel it's a step in the right direction. Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Hi Bhandsome,

Spending time together with him in public areas with alot of people (eg movie/ dinner) might have a consequence that he and you will be seen by one of the members of his family. Does he realize himself that such an event can happen, so that it might become clear that he is a gay. What are the problems in regard to his family? Are they reli-fundi christians?

I mean, you are an open gay, and you will not hide to anyone (so including his family and other aquaintances who are not aware that he is gay) that you are gay. Any idea what his reaction would be if this should happen?

I also agree with others that you can offer your friendship to him, and might offer him some support. Maybe he is very confused and very sad right now? Who knows, he will soon also be living as an open gay.

But be clear to him that you will never deny / hide (etc.) that you are an open gay when you and he are together in a public area.

Best wishes & good luck.
 
bhandsome said:
...He told me he wanted to take me out to a movie/dinner and I told him I would consider it. Even though I really wouldn't...
Click to expand...


In the future don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (deep breath) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever do this again. It's cruel, and it set you up for future grief.

There's nothing polite about letting a guy you will never date think he has a chance with you, as a matter of face it's the opposite of polite.

Yeah it sucks to have to disappoint people, but I've gotta tell you, you made it far worse by letting him think he had a chance then shutting him down, than if you had just stood your ground in the first place. How would you feel if that happened to you?

You let him hope when he didn't have a chance and that is incredibly rude.
 
TX-Beau: I know what I did was wrong, but honestly at that moment I was considering it. I have quickly changed my mind many times before and when I sit down and think about my actions this is what happens. I may sound contradicting but it happened, I don't regret doing it, and I know what not to do in the future.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I read that everyone feels that I could have lended him my friendship, but as I mentioned before, his desperation was extremely off-putting. I could sense he was trying to get me to feel sorry for him but I tried my best to be as nice as possible.

FYI we have known each other since grade school and this has to be the longest conversation we have ever had. We have never been friends and I don't plan on being friends with him because I've never wanted too.
 
Okay, so there's this guy who found me on Adam4Adam and goes to my university. He messaged me and apparently wants to hook up. I'm all for it, with protection of course, I think this would be a great way to experiment.

Thoughts?
 
So, tonight I gave my first blowjob as a gay man lmao. But of course the guy was "straight" and "curious" so he doesn't want anyone to know. I don't care though because it was awesome!

NEVER in my life would I have thought I'd do that. I'm shocked at myself.
 
^ That's awesome, man! Wish I would have that opportunity haha :P
 
Lol its adorable when they make baby steps ^_^

Me, I was very inconsiderate of the rules of the game and my first ever kiss with a guy was immediately followed by my first ever blowjob which was immediately followed by my first ever having sex. That was all within the span of half an hour.

Good times ^_^
 
I was thinking about it all day today; I'm still in shock. But I'm proud of myself for following through.

Right after I left his house he messaged me online saying he regrets doing it and that isnt who is and he apologized. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. He really regrets doing it and that it was a mistake and to act like it never happened.

I think he's an either bi or gay cause his dick was hard the entire time. I dont regret anything. He messaged me looking to hook up not the other way around. I guess he feels guilty.
 
Take this advice to heart - AVOID the closeted ones. The dating sites and Grindr are full of them, but too many of those are the type your guy was. You don't want that, and it's not healthy psychologically for your growth as a gay man. Plenty of out boys out there ;)
 
I will take your advice to heart. Closeted guys seem like nothing but trouble. I hope it's not awkward every time I see him on campus, but it is what is now.
 
Hi Bhandsome,

Thanks for the updated information and great to hear that you had a nice experience with a guy.

I tend to think that there is no way you need to blame yourself. Towards my opinion, there is nothing you have done wrong.

Okay, so there's this guy who found me on Adam4Adam and goes to my university. He messaged me and apparently wants to hook up. I'm all for it, with protection of course, I think this would be a great way to experiment.
Click to expand...
Right after I left his house he messaged me online saying he regrets doing it and that isnt who is and he apologized. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. He really regrets doing it and that it was a mistake and to act like it never happened.
Click to expand...

So he invited you to go to his place, and he was willing to have oral sex with you. I have no idea if this guy is straight / 'straight curious' / bi / gay (or anything in between), but that does not matter (IMO).

Just give him space. Maybe he needs time to think about what has happenend. Any idea if this was the first time for him to have oral sex with a guy?

Rolyo85 is right. Try to avoid closeted guys, and just go on with your life. And its up to you to ignore him when you meet him again at the uni, or just say 'hi' to him. Apparenly, he has some issues with his own sexuality, and you don't need to confront him with these issues.

I hope you will soon find a few nice gay friends. Definately, you must be able to find some of them on your uni.

Best wishes, and good luck.
 
Thanks for the advice! Yes, he mentioned this was his first time doing anything sexual with a guy but he wanted to proceed. After we were done he said it was weird. Idk just a thought in the back of my mind makes me nervous every time I think about seeing him on campus. I know I have done nothing wrong but maybe it's the fact that I actually did something sexual with another man for the first time.
 
What that feeling of nervousness that EVERYONE will know the moment you're in proximity to him?

Or that feeling that you know that he knows and you know that you know that he knows?

LOL, Welcome.
 
I've been trying to decide to talk to you about the Fraternity thing, but I can't decide if my experiences will help you or impede you.

It's not good, but neither is it nightmare, if you want to know, I'll tell you, but if you think that might stall you, and it's not like (most likely) we went to the same school and it's been like 15 years, so maybe it's not relevant anyway.
 
Oh boy!

I know its wrong but I enjoy this thread, its like a coming of age movie only with homosexuality as the theme.

Bhandsome, you sound like a genuine and lovely guy, enjoy your adventures and don't worry about what others think. If you are yourself, true friends will show themselves.

It will be a tough road in coming out, but I guess discretion is key sometimes, keep us updated with any saucy details though ;)
 
TX-Beau: Lol, I think both assumptions may be true. That people will "automatically" know and that we both know something happened between us.

You are more than welcome to share your story on here but I'll message you.


chris87: haha, thanks. I appreciate the kind words
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top