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It's lonely being gay and Asian in CT

T

tracker637

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Hi
It's been a year since I came here in the US from Manila... Pretty adjusted although it took a while.... But, dating scene is totally nonexistent... Most guys only want sex. Or doesn't want anything more than being friends. I feel so lonely and am starting to feel depressed. I need your help... Thoughts?
K
 
There should be a lot of activities there.
Do you have any hobbies like photography and making porn ... etc ?
 
Try finding some sort of hobby. Something that you can meet other people through. Maybe join some sort of organization. 1/10 guys are gay so you gotta meet people for something to happen
 
tracker, hundreds of guys have posted on here over the years "why is it so hard to find guys who want more than just sex."

I don't know why it is so difficult. I'm not even sure it is difficult if you look in the right places. But I don't know where those places are in your area. All I can say is don't give up in what you are looking for. I did and it was worth the wait.
 
The best thing is to allow your interests to lead you to groups and activities. There are also LGBT groups, clubs and organizations that can be joined or contacted. That's where I'd start.
 
i would try to make some gay friends, guys youre not sexually attracted to and that arent attracted to you. then go out with them and have a good time. romance will happen when it happens.
 
At least as far as JUB is concerned I would change my location from The Philippines to Connecticut, at least. You can put the town if you want or reserve that for PM exchange.

You might want to check other sites.

If people don't know where you are - or think you are far far away - it is difficult for them to entertain personal contact of the type you have in mind.
 
Thanks guys for your responses. :) I have changed the location of my profile :) and maybe somebody would hopefully give me a message. I'll probably check out the LGBT club in school. :) thanks for your advice.image.jpgimage.jpg
 
If you are still going to school the lgbt club is great if possible see if they have events that meet with other schools lgbt groups as well.

Don't worry too much give it time. I'd give you more than just a second look just saying ;-)
 
First off, I don't get the subversion to sex. Eventually "sex" will pop up in a relationship and you will need to address that head on. Monogamy is fine in a relationship but why not have fun while you are single? I no joke have hooked up with guys and then became very good friends with them. Of course, I am not saying be a total slut either but if a guy wants to have "fun" with you and you find him attractive, why not have a go?

If all you have on your mind is: "I want a relationship", a guy will sense that desperation and you will most likely scare him away.
 
I understand, man. I was born in CT, moved to San Francisco at 25 and moved back to CT at 52. It hadn't changed much in 25 years in the gay community (which isn't a community that is 'out' and integrated into the social fabric of the (straight) community. It's very 'underground.'
Where are you in CT?
 
Unfortunately, many gay people live in cities, towns and communities where there are no visible gay scenes or they are too small. On top o that, there is a high percentage of singles as guys have a hard time settling down or committing to anything. I hope you don't feel like it has anything to do with you being Asian. Try something like meetup.com and see if there are LGBT social activities in your state that you might find interesting. CT ca not be completely a gay desert.
 
I don't necessarily agree with the above statement saying to just have fun whenever. I mean to each their own, but some people are meant for hookups and others are meant for commitments. Neither is better than the other, but do what makes you comfortable and satisfies you're needs the best.
 
I feel for ya, Tracker. Grew up in CT, and it is a very "White Christian" state, especially the small towns. It can be rough; the people (not all) are very close-minded. I would definitely see about joining the lgbt club, and forging some gay platonic friendships like others have said. I realize this is easier said than done and I sympathize. My time in CT was very lonely. But! You are cute, and I bet you have a sparkling personality :-) Keep your chin up and remember that you are YOUNG. Opportunity is literally everywhere, even if it is sometimes hard to see. I wish you the best.
 
Thanks for everybody's response.
:-)

I felt that i'm not alone here :D I'm in Storrs, where UConn is :D I'll drop by the LGBT club one of these days :D And hopefully, I'll be able to meet people there.

:wave:
 
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