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It's not easy being gay

castoono

castoono

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Straight men say: you gay men have it so easy. Chasing women it's a hard thing to do. Even if you're hot,women are not gays, with girls you got a lot of ass kissing to do. But with society, relatives, and so on, you may be right
 
Think youself lucky your not also green, I hear thats not easy either.

Depending on what type of person you are it doesn't matter if your gay or straight, you can have the disaproving parents, hostile society and ostracized by society. The trick is to find a group of people who share your interests and except you for who you are.
 
Philly, you just described exactly how I'm feeling right now.

I have a very disapproving father; though that's not only due to me being gay, he just disapproves of me in general, but has a silver bullet now that I'm out. He just has to say one word and he will know how much it stings, he no longer has to waste energy on coming up with new ways to put me down.

I'm also finding my friends distancing themselves; I'm beginning to draw the conclusion that they're not really friends. So now, I guess I'm going to have to find new friends (NOT EASY), and for what reason? Nothing about me has changed, but because I'm open about being gay, in their eyes it has.

So yes, you're right; being gay is not easy, but it makes us strong. We have to put up with so much shit from ignorant people, but we show extreme courage and resilience when we power straight through it.

The 'it gets better' campaign really is amazing. Hearing other people's stories, and even just reading about the happiness of members on this very website, is what gives me hope.

I want to have my own it gets better story. Sure, right now I feel like it sucks to be gay, but knowing that other gay people have created such amazing, happy lives for themselves inspires me to do the same.

I'm in a transition period right now, and it's tough, and the road ahead looks just as tough; but the destination, and how getting there is going to mold me as a person, is going to be incredible.

(sorry about the personal rantings, I just had to get that off my chest)
 
there definitely is a lot of challenges. but i wouldn't change who i am if i had the choice, i love being this way, and i still have a couple challenges ahead of me that i'm petrified of, but.. i wouldn't change it.

i've become so much stronger, and better as a person, from being this way, and having to get over some of my fears, than i would've been otherwise.

every so often i wish i was a stronger person, but i've come to realize that i am slowly learning to be that person. the 'it gets better' campaign is a great idea, and it helps to see it, and to hear it, because it is true.
 
It's not easy for anyone. Life is difficult, gay str8, green, blue whatever. Everyone has problems. My parents were str8, 5 kids, a naval sailor for a dad, you think it was easy for them? NOOOO.

Not only do we have difficulties with families and friends, we have this gay issue to deal with. It's important to have distractions that take your mind of the everyday B. S that we all live with.

Chin up, keep smiling and carry on!
 
Well...being gay has its cost, at a minimum, and certainly isn't an easy life.
 
It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, no one is ever going to like all that you do. If I were straight, someone would still be raising their eyebrows. For all I know, I could be the father of two in an alternative universe where I am heterosexual. My mother was the mother of two when she was my age, and it was not easy. People were not exactly raving 'oh so proud.'

That's just life, where nothing is rarely ever easy. My mother does not approve, and many people do not. I want to get married one day, and I may want to have children eventually (we'll see when we're get there). If it doesn't happen, then obviously I wasn't made to be someone's husband/father. Who am I to assume that if I were straight it would be any better? I could be the father of many, and regret it every single day to the point of not being there for them. I could be remarry several times and never happy.

You get the point I'm sure :D
 
MMMonsterBoy said:
It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, no one is ever going to like all that you do. If I were straight, someone would still be raising their eyebrows. For all I know, I could be the father of two in an alternative universe where I am heterosexual. My mother was the mother of two when she was my age, and it was not easy. People were not exactly raving 'oh so proud.'

That's just life, where nothing is rarely ever easy. My mother does not approve, and many people do not. I want to get married one day, and I may want to have children eventually (we'll see when we're get there). If it doesn't happen, then obviously I wasn't made to be someone's husband/father. Who am I to assume that if I were straight it would be any better? I could be the father of many, and regret it every single day to the point of not being there for them. I could be remarry several times and never happy.

You get the point I'm sure :D
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Excellent post!

There are times when I wonder if things would be easier if I was straight, but then I think of having kids unintentionally and dealing with a girl during PMS and realize I'm fine with how things are.
 
MMMonsterBoy said:
It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, no one is ever going to like all that you do. If I were straight, someone would still be raising their eyebrows. For all I know, I could be the father of two in an alternative universe where I am heterosexual. My mother was the mother of two when she was my age, and it was not easy. People were not exactly raving 'oh so proud.'

That's just life, where nothing is rarely ever easy. My mother does not approve, and many people do not. I want to get married one day, and I may want to have children eventually (we'll see when we're get there). If it doesn't happen, then obviously I wasn't made to be someone's husband/father. Who am I to assume that if I were straight it would be any better? I could be the father of many, and regret it every single day to the point of not being there for them. I could be remarry several times and never happy.

You get the point I'm sure :D
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The Part I bolded is a myth. There are several things in this life that are very simple and there are things that COULD be easy but we as Humans make very hard for no real reason....Like being Gay!.

But I will say this. I am Lucky in some respects. Both of my parents are fine with me being gay. And I myself am okay with it Too.

Even thought Being Gay can be hard as hell and often times it seems like the whole damn world is against us. There are some good things about it like this one.

Gays don't really have society Pressuring us to get married and have kids. There really isn't socital standard that we're "supposed" to follow in a way we get to make our own rules and live how we see fit. Nobody expects anything from us.

We don't have to deal with Women!(Not to Imply that Women are bad).

Eh I hope all of that made sense and kept in line with this thread.
 
navidzurender said:
for me life is not that easy when it comes to fuckin "stereotypes"
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I agree with this! Everything in this world has sterotypes and negative things said about it that is not true. People need to start letting that shit go and start accepting and loving who they are!
 
It is certainly not the easiest life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I couldn't imagine not being gay. I've learned so much from experiences that I would never have if I were straight, and I credit the challenges I've faced with much of my character today. It's hard. But in my opinion, it's worth it.
 
Yea, it is true that everyone has problems, but there is no denying that being gay adds a certain stress. Not only that, but it can sometimes be hard to figure out if someone a guy is gay or not without flat out asking him. So the whole "Its easier to date guys than girls" is just dumb. Because of this reason, the whole "presumed straight until proven gay" annoys me.
 
healingduck said:
Yea, it is true that everyone has problems, but there is no denying that being gay adds a certain stress. Not only that, but it can sometimes be hard to figure out if someone a guy is gay or not without flat out asking him. So the whole "Its easier to date guys than girls" is just dumb. Because of this reason, the whole "presumed straight until proven gay" annoys me.
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Excellent point. I hate not knowing when a guy is gay.
 
healingduck said:
Yea, it is true that everyone has problems, but there is no denying that being gay adds a certain stress.
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So does having cancer, or losing your job with four kids to feed, or working two jobs while trying to obtain your doctorate, or being raped repeatedly for years by a family member. Life is what you make it. If you paint a bunch of clouds over your own head don't be surprised when it starts to rain.
 
Karen_Walker said:
So does having cancer, or losing your job with four kids to feed, or working two jobs while trying to obtain your doctorate, or being raped repeatedly for years by a family member. Life is what you make it. If you paint a bunch of clouds over your own head don't be surprised when it starts to rain.
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All of those problems you mentioned aren't societal issues though.

When you're gay, it's you against some aspects of society.

That's not to say that wallowing in self-pity is a good idea, but I can understand why sometimes people feel down about being gay.
 
altlover85 said:
That's not to say that wallowing in self-pity is a good idea, but I can understand why sometimes people feel down about being gay.
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Oh it's CERTAINLY understandable. Some gay men are beat up emotionally and physically all throughout childhood and high-school. We can't turn to parents for simple dating advice like a straight brother or sister can, we are essentially isolated during one of the most critical development stages of a person's life.

If I had known the category was "Societal Issues" I would've named interracial couples in Mississippi or people with Down Syndrome or the poor. :lol:
 
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