It's so hard being wealthy...

[mygaybuffet]

Forgive me for going off topic here, but I think this needs to be addressed.

1. You really should try to integrate your "honest self" with your "everyday self". Anonymity is useful under certain circumstances, but if all you're doing is airing opinion is it really necessary?

2. Not apologizing for holding unpopular beliefs...
I'll applaud you for not apologizing, but isn't it a bit contradictory to say you've been "deservedly crucified" but still continue to hold those beliefs?

Feel free to pm me if you'd rather not discuss these things out on the forum, you are of course also free to ignore this post.

For posterity's sake, I will keep this discussion public:

My beliefs are not opinions. At the same time I would never outside of a forum express some of my beliefs because they are politically incorrect and insensitive. We all have prejudices that we keep to ourselves.

I think the hostile reactions are deserved since I should be more open minded and less judgmental of others. Change doesn't happen overnight, but I definitely have learned more by voicing my beliefs on JUB.

 

[fetaby]

For posterity's sake, I will keep this discussion public:

My beliefs are not opinions. At the same time I would never outside of a forum express some of my beliefs because they are politically incorrect and insensitive. We all have prejudices that we keep to ourselves.

I think the hostile reactions are deserved since I should be more open minded and less judgmental of others. Change doesn't happen overnight, but I definitely have learned more by voicing my beliefs on JUB.

>>> We all have prejudices that we keep to ourselves.

Do we? Or do you?

You recognize that you "should be more open minded and less judgmental" yet it seems you are still wanting to believe in whatever it was that received hostility.

That creates a lot of stress. Ask yourself, why someone would bother getting hostile? Is that hostility open aggression or a reaction to hurt you've created?

But I have to disagree that change doesn't happen overnight. It actually happens in an instant. We just have trouble seeing it that way.

 

[hellowazzup]

>>>Which sibling am I supposed to choose,

The one that's currently closes to exiting school and is most able to return your investment.

>>>and how shall I give it to him when I've got it invested in real estate, IRA fund, bonds, ect?

Aren't you the one that said you have "money"? Or is that you have "assets"? These are not the same thing.

>>>I don't think they would come asking me for help before doing everything to get it done on their own.

Without knowing specific details of who asked for what, and where they stand financially, I can't speak to their situations. But I can tell you, that if they feel comfortable enough asking you, then you should feel comfortable enough knowing where they stand financially and not just assuming they've done what they could. It's that assumption that they are able to handle their biz that is the mistake. If they are coming to you, it's obvious they can't. You are after all very young and just starting out on your own, yes? Do you have an emergency savings fund that would pay your expenses for at least 6 months? As well as a regular savings fund that you contribute to regularly?

>>> The only answer I can give is NO, which sucks, and is PAINFULL to do.

Depending on what they want, say no to cash. Say yes, to figuring out a course of action so that they can enable themselves to achieve their desired goals. Most times what people need more than anything is information. Surely you aren't letting any of them go hungry?


>>>I don't think I am enjoying life any MORE than I was...if anything I had better relationships with the people I know. Sure I have met new people, and could just totally move on.....but I couldn't live with that.....

None of this really has anything to do with money.

Well I dont think your seeing the whole picture. Why is it that now everyone elses problems have become my own? Ive got my own issues to deal with....how can I spend half my day helping other people?

Like I said, I'm not exactly rich......but I can see how this would just get worse and worse with the more money coming in. It would get to the point where I would just have to abandon everyone I know.

Cant imagine what would happen if I won the lottory or something.

 

[altlover85]

I don't really see you doing that. There are quite a few controversial threads where you've sided with the majority of posters (ironically enough you took the popular position while exacerbating a few of our woes, mine included).

Perhaps I should have been more clear. I don't want to just defend opinions that are unpopular just to do it. I want to defend my own opinions regardless of whether or not they are popular or not.

Like you I feel I can be my honest self on a forum due to the anonymity provided. As a result I have been (deservedly so) crucified for some of my positions. I will not apologize for holding these unpopular beliefs. I find it very therapeutic speaking freely here. At the same time I've had my eyes opened as a result (I kind of led a sheltered home schooled life growing up).

While I'm not all that anonymous (that picture is actually me) I do think the anonymity allows me to be more free when I express myself because I don't really know the people here so I can be a little bit harsher than I would be with people that I know well.

By that I don't mean being a total asshole, but I am probably a bit bitchier than I might be in person.

 

[hellowazzup]

Oh wow. This puzzle just keeps getting new pieces.

Tell him that he needs some counseling. That his access to money (including his) needs to be handled by someone responsible until he is no longer an addict.

Tell your family that you will not enable his behavior at the risk of your own well-being.

Your family has bigger problems than how much money you could make, it's high time they start dealing with them.

Believe me.....Ive tried. They think I'm selfish because I won't enable him. He does not understand that when he screws up he needs to learn a lesson by NOT getting helped. But every time.....SOMEONE helps him. And they get mad at me because they obviously spent much more needed money on him.

 

[mygaybuffet]

(that picture is actually me)

I suspected that much! For the record you are a cutie

 

[BearBoi]

I would imagine that it is burdensome to be constaintly assailed by poor people whining and griping about being poor, while somehow laying all their failures at the feet of the financially secure, who were poor themselves until they just worked harder.

I mean, if I had to imagine.

 

[fetaby]

Well I dont think your seeing the whole picture. Why is it that now everyone elses problems have become my own? Ive got my own issues to deal with....how can I spend half my day helping other people?

Like I said, I'm not exactly rich......but I can see how this would just get worse and worse with the more money coming in. It would get to the point where I would just have to abandon everyone I know.

Cant imagine what would happen if I won the lottory or something.

Misery loves company and being poor is miserable.

If you've got problems that need to be dealt with, you aren't in the position to really help anyone else. So how are you handling your issues?

It's obvious you want to remain close to your family, and you feel bad for not being able to give them what you think they deserve. But you can't help anyone until you know what you're doing, and how you're going to help. And that includes knowing what kind of help they need. In the case of your brother, money isn't it.

Believe me.....Ive tried. They think I'm selfish because I won't enable him. He does not understand that when he screws up he needs to learn a lesson by NOT getting helped. But every time.....SOMEONE helps him. And they get mad at me because they obviously spent much more needed money on him.

It seems your family has become stricken with poverty thinking. No one likes thinking that they've been going about it wrong, but the proof is in the pudding. What does your parents say when your brother spends all his money gambling? Do they just slide him the cash and wish he'll change?

Hell, for all that they could just go gambling themselves, then at least they'll get the thrill of the risk. It sucks having ostriches for parents. My own parents are similar, they'd rather stick their head in the sand than confront what life has given them.

 

[altlover85]

I suspected that much! For the record you are a cutie

Thanks!

 

[BearBoi]

And FYI, there are many people who are 'financially secure' who haven't had to work a day in their life to be as such.

Actually, this is exactly what I wanted to talk about.

It seems a marvellous amount of cast-system mentality has cropped up throughout this discussion. It's classification you want, and punishment for those who don't know what you've been through.

However, most would feel 'okay' about wealthy people who've worked hard for it, because they are perceived as still being 'one of you' (a paragon), but you all hate those 'trust fund babies.'

Much like the smallfolk thought in France; "the Royalty? Qu'on leur coupe la tête! Then we can elect those ‘good’ wealthy people into office to safely govern over us. After all, since they came from our own backyard, they have to be on the up-and-up, yes?"

History just repeats itself. Funny, that's all.

 

[fetaby]

http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/wed-september-21-2011-mitch-daniels

 

[shainski]

I'm not sure that people you consider wealthy may view themselves as such.

We all have a spectrum of people we interact with in our lives - and we often are in the middle -

Some have more, some less.
Some older, some younger
some more beautiful, some less.

And one thing that yummylongsword was trying to get at - is that every one of us would be considered "Rich" by many other people on the planet.

But not everyone realizes how they are perceived. And, I think, that some people with financial assets are terrified of what would happen if they lost them.

I recall as a young man - having friends who had much more than i had. A couple, in particular, come to mind. I struggled for a long time.

But the one thing that always reassured me was that i knew how to work - i knew how to live paycheck to paycheck - I knew how to work multiple jobs and balance them.

And i used to contemplate that i felt confident in my ability to survive no matter what happened. (My mantra at the time was that i could always work at McDonalds) And then i wondered how those friends would have fared if the things they had disappeared.

I don't know that they could "work at McDonalds" or do multiple jobs or find things on sale - or do without. And i thought how terrifying that might be. I could take on roommates. I lived without a car in a city that was not easily suited for living without a car.

I mean - obviously they could work a low-wage job - but it would be more difficult for them then for me because i had done it.

And then i look at the young people who are given gobs of money - the athletes, music stars, or movie stars - and i think how unfortunate it must be to be given millions of dollars when you are 20 years old.

There are many stories of athletes and movies stars who have lost everything due to their own negligence - or having managers that ripped them off or living a lifestyle that just couldn't be supported despite their millions.

Would i rather be rich than poor? Absolutely i would. But i can see how a rich person might see some appeal in an alternate lifestyle (if you've ever seen the old black and white movie - "A Roman Holiday" about a British Royalty (Audrey Hepburn) looked out at all the regular people and just wished she could enjoy life like they seemed to)

 

[BearBoi]

Thanks for completely dodging everything he said in that post. You came here with an already-formed opinion, didn't bother listening to anything he said, and proceeded to talk out of your ass.

I came here to make a statement in response to the OP. I made it. If you’d like to discuss the rest of my comments in a seperate post, I'm fine with that. But let's keep it civil.

 

[altlover85]

I came here to make a statement in response to the OP. I made it. If you’d like to discuss the rest of my comments in a seperate post, I'm fine with that. But let's keep it civil.

I didn't think what he wrote was that bad really.

 

[Kyanimal]

Personally? I HATE money! I despise the effects it can have in warping our lives. I abhor what it can do in twisting our relationships, the mere pursuit of it dividing us into battling factions, coercing "good" people into doing "bad" things to their fellow beings, and it's corrosive influence on social policy!

However, I also wish I had enough of it that I didn't have to be concerned about it!

I also hold that money is Worthless! That is until it is Used for something. In other words, it doesn't matter how much you have, but it is important what you DO with what you have. Collecting it, simply for the purpose of having it, is deplorable, and can lead us into doing pure Evil!

I've known extremely wealthy people, including some Famous ones, and know that money can NOT buy Happiness. There are aspects of Life that are far more Valuable than currency, and superficial belongings/possessions.

Our core Values come from our Purpose in Life. Without that kind of passion/direction we're pretty much Empty!

Some of the most Miserable people I've known have also been some of the wealthiest. And, yet, some of the most Happy, Honorable, Generous, Genuine people I've known have also been some of the poorest!

It is not money that makes You! Nor is it the money you make, or have, that defines You! It's what is in your Heart, not your wallet, that grants you Value!

Yes, many of us have to work harder, and harder, to make ends meet. And, that can be frustrating as all Heck! However, given the choice of being given a "silver spoon" at birth, or having to learn to make my own way, I'll take the later any day!

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[BearBoi]

I didn't think what he wrote was that bad really.

It's about tone and context. If we were to meet and start talking, and I called you an 'ass' in the first sentence, would you feel inclined to continue speaking with me? Probably not. But some posters cling to that MO and then act all offended when you decline to take their bait.

thank you, thank you, thank you!

I thought the premise of this thread was pretty obvious, but that's what happens when people come in ready to be dicks, without reading and comprehending what is said in the first place. that's the reason I didn't bother to entertain the rest of his posts.

Oh, I knew what it was about. You made that perfectly obvious:

They should try living paycheck to fucking paycheck, and then come back and tell me how 'hard' it is being wealthy.

Okay...now I feel better.

You wanted to "feel better," so you picked a group of people and started lashing out.

 

[altlover85]

As was stated before, he didn't actually call you an ass BearBoi. Perhaps he could have used a little more tact, but I still think you're overreacting.

 

[metta]

Make sure to watch the wall street clip....drinking Champlain and laughing at the protestors


http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=356781

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Oh you poor people...Silly little people you are *of to eat caviar on gold*

 

[gsdx]

Am I wrong in thinking this or is wealth associated with 'Living the American Dream'?

It always seems that way whenever I hear someone talking about it.