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It's time...Judgement Day?

Runewell

Runewell

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So I got a call from my aunt last night. She told me that she heard from another family member who had seen my facebook "interested in" status. Yes, I've had it up that I'm gay for the past two and some-odd years, but I hadn't told my extended family, and was actually surprised it took so long for someone to see it. My aunt was super-supportive, and said that nothing would ever change between us, and that she still loved me just as much. I don't know about other aunts, uncles, and cousins yet, though. As far as my immediate family is concerned, my mom has known since I was in middle school (lol), my brother has known since I was a Freshmen in college (4 1/2 years), but I haven't ever talked with my dad about it.

I talked to my mom a few minutes ago, and she knows the situtation. Now that people outside my immediate family know, I'm going home immediately to talk to my dad, because it isn't fair for him not to know. I really wanted to tell him before now, but I just never knew how to bring it up. Now, I have no choice...but it feels good. I've always imagined that he will react very well, and I'm pretty sure he will, but now is the time to do it. I'm finally telling my dad tonight. Wish me well everyone!!!
 
At this point, it should just be a "hey, just keeping you in the loop" sort of thing. Hope it goes smoothly. :)

Lex
 
Luckily for me, I never had to deal w/ a dad but I wish you luck all the same.
 
justright25 said:
Luckily for me, I never had to deal w/ a dad but I wish you luck all the same.
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I never had to deal with a dad either... It's not always a bad thing though espically when your dad is an alcoholic who likes to beat certain people (not me). Haven't seen or dealt with my dad on a daily basis in 10 years.
 
cinbengals2010 said:
I never had to deal with a dad either... It's not always a bad thing though espically when your dad is an alcoholic who likes to beat certain people (not me). Haven't seen or dealt with my dad on a daily basis in 10 years.
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What's sad is that there are dads out there like that. I've had the best dad in the world and that's what I try to be to my kids.

to the OP. I hope things go well. If I were your dad I'd be a little hurt that others knew for so long and I didn't. However I'm not in your shoes and don't know your situation. I hope it goes well. Best wishes.

Steven.
 
Good luck and, yes, let us know how it goes. He may not be surprised. (*8*)
 
Thanks for all the support, guys. It's finally done. Whew!!!

It pretty much played out exactly as I thought it would. When I finally got up the nerve to tell my dad one-on-one, he was of course, a bit at a loss for words. I would pause so he could say something, but he kept saying, "There's not really much I can say." He definitely didn't seem happy, but he was listening, so I kept talking. I told him about how I'd known all this time and that it all has been a constant process and all. I also told him about how others in the family might know, and that I wanted him to find it out from me, and not from someone else. He listened patiently and calmly, but it was still a bit uncomfortable. He said that he'd be fine, and that he knew he had to accept it, but that it would take him a little getting used to. He thanked me for telling him. I didn't know whether he was mad, disappointed, or what, so I just kinda sat there. I had a hard time leaving at that point, but I didn't want to overwhelm him, so I kinda left it at that and we said good night to each other.

After a few minutes though, my dad came back and seemed better than before. He told me (more confidently) that he really would be okay, and that nothing would change between us. Then he said what I don't think he could say at first: he had suspected because I'd never shown any interest in a girl or said anything about it. He said he'd considered it, but had essentially blocked the possibility out until it came up.

So he had been waiting for me to tell him.

Overall, I think it went as well as it could have. Still, it feels a little weird for him to finally know. I definitely have a huge burden off my back, and whatever happens from now on, it will be easier to deal with. I just hope that he really does get used to it, and that we'll be just as close as we have been up till now.

By the way, this means at least one of my new year's wishes has come true, hahahaha! I had forgotten until just now.
 
Georgiadude said:
to the OP. I hope things go well. If I were your dad I'd be a little hurt that others knew for so long and I didn't. However I'm not in your shoes and don't know your situation. I hope it goes well. Best wishes.

Steven.
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I know, I never meant to wait so long, but I just had a really hard time getting around to it with him. Really, the only ones who knew for a long time were my mom and my brother. I am totally out with my friends because I haven't lived at home in a while, but I always kept my school life and family life separate, so it just got easy to avoid it with my dad. The whole extended family thing just happened this week, so only two people in my family knew about this much longer than he did.

I did mention that though when I was talking to him--that I hated I had waited so long to tell him, but I think he understands why it was so hard for me to do. I told him that I really cared what he thought, and he didn't seem to be aware, which was why I couldn't just come out and tell him. Whereas with my mom, when I told her forever ago, she seemed to have already figured it out and asked a tiny question that just caused everything to spill out.
 
Runewell said:
Then he said what I don't think he could say at first: he had suspected because I'd never shown any interest in a girl or said anything about it. He said he'd considered it, but had essentially blocked the possibility out until it came up.

So he had been waiting for me to tell him.
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Runewell said:
Whereas with my mom, when I told her forever ago, she seemed to have already figured it out
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Ah, but see they both had figured it out (or at least suspected--well, I think deep down in his heart he knew, but as you say, he blocked the possibility out; as he found out, denial solves nothing). :D

In any case, congrats! (*8*):kiss:

That had to be hard, but now you're a better man for it! :=D:
 
Runewell said:
I know, I never meant to wait so long, but I just had a really hard time getting around to it with him. Really, the only ones who knew for a long time were my mom and my brother. I am totally out with my friends because I haven't lived at home in a while, but I always kept my school life and family life separate, so it just got easy to avoid it with my dad. The whole extended family thing just happened this week, so only two people in my family knew about this much longer than he did.

I did mention that though when I was talking to him--that I hated I had waited so long to tell him, but I think he understands why it was so hard for me to do. I told him that I really cared what he thought, and he didn't seem to be aware, which was why I couldn't just come out and tell him. Whereas with my mom, when I told her forever ago, she seemed to have already figured it out and asked a tiny question that just caused everything to spill out.
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I'm glad it worked out well for you. Sounds like your dad is pretty cool.

As I said. I don't know you, your dad or your situation. It would have hurt me that you felt more comfortable telling your mom and brother but not me (your dad). However thats just me. It sounds like things went well and it's all water under the bridge at this point. Don't be surprised if he has more questions or never brings it up again. Sounds like he's dealing with it pretty good. I'm very happy for you. It is a good feeling to get it out in the open and move on.

Best wishes

Steven. (*8*)
 
Good for you man. :D

My Dad knows about me but my Mum doesn't. For some reason I feel weirder telling her. :p
 
Runewell said:
By the way, this means at least one of my new year's wishes has come true, hahahaha! I had forgotten until just now.
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It wasn't a New Year's wish--it was a New Year's goal, and you achieved it. This was a huge step you took, and you went for it. Might I suggest that when you look back at this, you not only recognize that you came out, but that you learned what kind of strength and determination you have to live your life with honesty and with purpose.

Congratulations. :kiss:
 
ronnie54321 said:
^ That's sad.
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No, it is not sad. My mother was and is a great parent. She has been both mother and father to all of us and I would not change that for the world. Death is a part of life and can be beautiful if looked at appropriately. Thank you for your thoughts though.:kiss:
 
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