I've come out to my parents, but they don't accept me.

[justjoshoh]

Wait, I remember this. I thought you already came out. Didn't you leave home and crash at a bunch of your friends' places?

I really think you should try to at least take some initiative and find ways to make yourself more independent from your parents. Get a job. Apply for scholarships. Lots of students work while they're in college and even fi the first job doesn't pay much, it gives you experience to work jobs that pay a little more. Spend wisely, save money, and build up some money to support yourself. Apply for any and all scholarships that you fit the description for.

Your parents may not accept you, but if you are serious about doing something about your problem, you're going to have to do it largely on your own. If you'd rather grit your teeth and still be under your parents' subjugation, then you dont' have to worry much about college.

You forgot the part where he and his brother were attending the same school, and if the brother found out where he was his parents would surely kill him. The part that the girl that took him in became "the slut" because he cramped her style. Oh and there was the looking for a sugar daddy to from the West to save him.

Sometimes I wonder why the bring up the same old plot lines in these soap operas.

 

[Marvels]

I really think you should try to at least take some initiative and find ways to make yourself more independent from your parents. Get a job. Apply for scholarships. Lots of students work while they're in college and even fi the first job doesn't pay much, it gives you experience to work jobs that pay a little more. Spend wisely, save money, and build up some money to support yourself. Apply for any and all scholarships that you fit the description for.

There are three top schools in the PH: LaSalle, Ateneo, and UP. The only place he can survive relying only on a student-friendly job is the third - - which is also the Uni that's the hardest to get into since every penny-pincher in the country with a brain goes there. The former two, LaSalle (my school) and Ateneo, are much too expensive to get into without a scholarship, unless he plans on taking the "useless" courses.

Besides, PH is a developing country, which has virtually NOTHING going for it right now (no offense Alberto). The income is too low and the cost of living - - which should not be confused with surviving - - is way tpp high. It's pretty tough to explain.


Alberto: Ui, San Antonio village ka? Ako San Antonio street. Wahahaha.


Justjoshoh: Well, desperate people do desperate things. Let's start getting suspicious when he begins talking about an evil twin.

 

[rareboy]

Once I went back and read his old posts, particularly the sugar daddy one.... I had the best laugh of the whole day.....here we are, giving sincere advice like we think we can help someone with their problem.......I suppose it is rather sweet that that we take these posts at face value, but I know that I'll be looking more carefully at the posting history in the future....and people wonder why there is so much cynicism.

 

[Alberto_15]

Besides, PH is a developing country, which has virtually NOTHING going for it right now (no offense Alberto). The income is too low and the cost of living - - which should not be confused with surviving - - is way tpp high. It's pretty tough to explain.


Alberto: Ui, San Antonio village ka? Ako San Antonio street. Wahahaha.

Don't be so pesimistic about your country. And it is San Antonio, Texas, USA

 

[Roland00]

Don't hate your parents, but allow yourself to be angry at them.

 

[ok455]

Get a job and get a room they usally charge 50-200 dollars a month or week. And start from there

 

[blueto21]

Re: I came out to my parents and they don't want me out.

I say live by their rules until you can graduate college and get a job

I have zero sympathy for those who are so closeminded. Get what you can out of them. Do the best you can in college, finish, graduate, get a great job, then cut them off. Fuck them. I can only see more heartache and pain in the future if you try to be something you are not just for them.

I agree with this post 100%. Nothing else needs to be said.

 

[rareboy]

Before anyone else posts good advice on this thread, you should really go back and read this guy's posts from last year. They are very illuminating.

 

[rareboy]

oh, please.........

 

[justjoshoh]

Like for instance, I ask them to buy me a car, and they always back it up with lame excuses that they are on a tight budget. If they really love me, I don't even have to ask them for that in the first place when I graduated in high school.

Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? Why do you believe they owe you a car. If your assesment of your country's economical status is correct, they probably are on a tight budget.

I'm prolly the only one among my friends who doesn;t have a car, now that's
embarassing, I also heard talks that they're buying my younger brother who's
still not 18 and is straight a car before me. I don;t understand why not me? Is it because I'm gay?

If that's true, and who can tell really, is it perhaps he understands life better and isn't caught up in what people owe him? To earn respect, you must pay respect.

 

[justjoshoh]

i live in davao city btw, sorry i forgot to put that. if you think mla is bad,
wait til you'd be in dvo. there arent much malls here, and gay bars
no longer exists, hows a little gay boy suppose to live in that? (lol!)

All of the following from Wikipedia:

• The City of Davao (Filipino: Lungsod ng Dabaw; Cebuano: Dakbayan sa Davao) is one of the most important cities in the Philippines and the de facto capital of the island of Mindanao. It is also the largest city in the Philippines in terms of land area. Its international airport and seaport is one of the busiest cargo hubs in the Southern Philippines.
• As the capital of the region nicknamed Silicon Gulf, it is currently one of the centers of BPO operations in the Philippines. The city is projected to earn at least US$5 billion in annual revenue by 2010, according a CITEM report.
  In recent years, the sprawling urban metropolis has emerged as the business, investment and tourism hub for southern Philippines. The city boasts some of the finest beach and mountain resorts in the country, and proximity to the Philippines’ most captivating diving spots as well as its highest peak, Mt Apo.
• The government provides free education at the primary (grade school) and secondary (high school) levels. Government scholars from all over the island enjoy free college education in state-run universities such as the University of the Philippines and the University of SouthEastern Philippines. The literacy rate of the country is 93.9%. Davao City on the other hand has a higher literacy rate at 98.05%.
  The city has contributed much to the country’s ever increasing pool of masters and doctorate degree holders helping the Philippines gain the distinction of having one of the highest numbers of Masters in Business Administration (MBA) graduates in the world.
  The city is considered the Center for Learning and Education in Mindanao Island. Currently, it has 374 elementary schools, 65 secondary schools, and 46 colleges and universities.
• Currently, there are around 60 banks (excluding branches), 22 financing companies, and 9 lending firms operating in the city. These can handle financial/monetary transactions from the most basic to the most complicated.
  CitiBank which is a foreign subsidiary operates in the city while another foreign bank, HSBC has just opened its doors to the Davao community last year.
• The city government also maintains a 24-hour emergency response system patterned that after the 911 in Canada and the United States. People can dial the 911 number to report emergencies and criminal incidents.
• As a modern metropolis bustling with life, verve and color, situated in a typhoon-free zone with a land area of 244,000 hectares touted as one of the world’s largest, recent study made by the Asian Institute of Management through a project called “Philippine Cities Competitiveness Program” revealed that the City is the Most Competitive City in the Philippines (Urban Category) with the lowest cost of Doing Business.
  Moreover, using a scorecard developed by the Commission on Informationa and Communications Technology (CICT), Davao City ranks high as an attractive ICT investment location in the country.
  In the area of Workforce Potential, the Commission on Higher Education (CHED) XI reported that as of January 2005 out of 76 colleges and universities in the region, Davao City has a total of 42, three (3) of which belonging to the Top 20 in the country namely: Ateneo de Davao University, University of the Philippines in Mindanao and San Pedro College.
• For Quality of Life, Davao City was adjudged as the most liveable city in the Philippines and included in the Top 20 in Asia. (emphasis added)

There are several cities in the United States that have a poorer outlook than "dvo". How come you are suffering all of this hardship, with all of the opportunity that surrounds you?

 

[rareboy]

I will suggest again, check out this person's posts from last year before adding more advice on this thread. If meheart behaves the same way at home as he implies in his posts, I'm surprised that his parent's even let him into the house.

 

[Marvels]

Tol, nakakaturn off kasi para sa maraming members yung posting history mo.


ANYWAY, there are a ton of gay bars in Malate. Buy a ticket, go there, work there.

Alberto: Hehe, well, the peso is getting stronger, so you may be right.

 

[Eagle653]

OK, guys, look.

This is a No Flame Zone. In short, that means no flaming. Calling (or implying) someone a liar is not helpful. Telling someone to fuck off is equally not acceptable. Rareboy, you've mentioned twice that folks should look at meheartdicks posting history. Got it. Enough said. Meheartdicks, people DO frequently look back at post histories--it's fair game.

I'm not sure this thread has much of a point left, but we're keeping it open to see. Let's just cool the attacks and stay on topic. Thanks.

 

[luminum]

It may be unfair that your parents are buying your brother a car before giving one to you, but does your brother need a car more than you? If so, his receiving a car (hypothetically) may be more warranted.

Second, there are talks, but you won't know until it happens and only then are you slightly justified in demanding a car.

My parents didn't buy me a car. I wasn't embarrassed that my friends had cars and I didn't. If the only reason why you think you deserve a car is because your friends have them and you don't, then it's not justified in my opinion. Cars may be expensive, and maybe you parents really can't afford one for the both of you and maybe since you're stuck with them, you won't need it and your brother may be going far away and my need it.

Also, if you're concerned about money and your parents, having a car means you need to maintian it. You need to put money (which you don't have and your parents do) into gas, insurance, and repairs. That, I think, would only further your dependence on your parents.

Have you considered finding a job and taking a break from school until you can raise the money to go somewhere a little less prestigious and less expensive and onyl later work your way up to a better school? It's not ideal, but it's a solution if you want to distance yourself from your parents.

 

[Riverrick]

Don't hate your parents, but allow yourself to be angry at them.

I agree with Roland here. You have a lot to be angry about and I think you have explained your circumstances very well. I think you are right on the money about their homophobia and "heterosexism". I don't know how much you can expect them to change though. I guess there is always hope.

You seem to have a very strong sense of self, meheartsdicks, and I don't imagine you backing down much or becoming what they want you to be. If that's the case, then it is a waiting game until you are finally away on your own. In the meantime, just come here and vent. Good luck!

 

[rareboy]

I absolutely and unreservedly apologize for suggesting that others might wish to review MeHeartDicks current problems in the context of his earlier problems of last year when he was kicked out of his house etc. etc. I wouldn't want to seem to trivialize his anguish at having parents who won't buy him a car, but only let him live in their house with a pool etc. while he is attending school and apparently unable to find any source of employment.

I do believe that from what has been written, it isn't a case that the parents won't give him a car because he's gay..it just appears that they love their younger son much more than their older son, but force him to stay in their house as a form of psychological abuse.

 

[Just_Believe18]

It's always sad when this happens where the parent's aren't surprisingly accepting and loving as you hear from other stories.

Give them time. As everyone else has stated, don't hate them. They don't hate you. It's just hard for them to adjust to. It will get better. The worst is probably over. Typically, the worst-case scenerio parents tend to disown and kick out their children. It hasn't happened to you so right now, you're ok.

*hug*

 

[Marvels]

Okay...didn't the mod just say that this wasn't supposed to end up in a f*cking flame war? (though it isn't so much flaming as it is hair-pulling IMO)

Meheart, you wanted advice and you got it. Lots of times. Is there anything else you want?

 

[michsco]

One of the many tribulations we have to deal with unfortunately. Firstly I think if your parents didn't care about you, they would of kicked you out already, cut you off and stopped paying for college!!! As for seeing you dead, I don't think any parents would wish that upon their kids, and if they do, they've clearly got the problem, NOT YOU, you have to know that!!! Your parents grew up in an era where it wasn't as common and was frowned upon, today however, it's a different story, we're more accepted now, not by everyone but people are becoming more and more tolerant.

PATIENCE IS THE KEY. Put up with your parents until you can afford to go it alone. Just let their intolerance slide right off your back, I know it's not easy but it's what we have to do. I got crap all thru my school life for being gay, even tho I wasn't out, and I would go home upset and angry everyday, but that's over now and it's made me stronger today. I don't think being gay is sposed to be an easy trip, we're always gonna hit bumps in the road-right now I'm trying to deal with never having a boyfriend, having no luck on dating sites, living a lie to my friends and family cos I'm not out yet, my crush just left the country, I haven't had touch for 4 years but luckily my meds get me thru day by day and the fact that being gay is only a tiny slice of my life. What also gets me thru is the fact that I have people to help me thru it, and you do too, you have a whole community on this website with no doubt many who have been through the same thing as you. Keep making contacts, even if they're on the other side of the world, at least its someone to talk to. I have only 2 gay mates in my life (2 out of the 65 on my msn blocked list!!!) and they give me advice whenever I need need it. So you have us at your disposal!!!

On another note, if my parents did this to me, I would find a job, just a few hours a week and don't tell your folks, just say your college hours have been extended and SAVE SAVE SAVE! I think the sooner you get away from this negative environment the better, and once you've saved up enough money, maybe move to a different country where the economy's good and there's plenty of gay people to meet. And not to mention where you could get a job from your course, or maybe even arrange a student exchange if that's possible.

Just keep making more friends, not only on the net tho, in your city. I dunno whether there's a section in your paper over there on dating classifieds but try that if there is. There's got to be people out there! Or do a search on Gaydar, I think it costs to city search but I'm sure one of the members on here would do a search for you. Stay positive and strive on and become a stronger person because it will happen. Good luck buddy. (WOW I wasnt gonna write that much so I hope it helps)