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I've finally decided.

J

jubjub

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I've finally decided that I will not come out to anyone. In fact, I am not obligated to come out to anyone, it's my life and I'll live it the way I want to. All this talk about homosexuals having to come out to live their life to the fullest is, IMHO, bullshit.

Straight people do not have to declare their heterosexuality out loud, why should homosexuals or bisexuals? I'm just going to live my life the way I want to, and people can draw whatever conclusions they want to. So no, I'm not going to bother myself with some awkward speech to my friends and family--they can figure it out themselves and live with it.
 
LOL... where have I heard that before. Oh yeah, I think it was me, a long time ago...
 
I think you're mixing two different things. No one should expect you to declare your sexuality to everyone. But coming out is different. You have to come out to yourself. And preferably, you should come out to your loved ones, if you can. Most gay people spend their life, afraid of being ostracized by their family and rejected by their friends. I hope you can see how important it is to feel accepted and appreciated for who you truly are by the people you care about.

Straight people never have to come out because everyone is presumed innocent until proven gay. They don't have to come out because they're not trapped by their sexuality. They're not hated for their sexuality. And quite frankly, they're not hated by god for their sexuality. Haven't you heard that god hates gays? They have to come out so he can keep a tab on them.

That being said, the decision of coming out is totally up to you.
 
Coming out usually precedes taking any actions that would ever allow anyone to draw conclusions about one's homosexuality.

If you plan on just doing it anyway and then telling anyone who asks that yes, you are gay, that's why you're kissing your boyfriend in front of him or her, then coming out isn't necessary.

Straight people don't have to declare their sexualities because given the society that we live in, all people are intitially assumed to be heterosexual. Thus, a heterosexual coming out to his or her friends and family would be redundant.

Coming out for homosexuals is setting the record straight, affirmations for some, clarifications as usual for others. No more people trying to set you up with really nice girls, no more of your friends spouting anti-gay rhetoric without having to think twice about it in your presence, or no more having to hide secrets from other people.

To me, it sounds like you're concerned about having an awkward conversation about your sexuality, so you'd rather express that concern as some puffed-out manifesto that simultaneously attacks the idea of coming out so you'll never have to worry about it. Sound a fury signifying nothing.
 
Straight people do not have to declare their heterosexuality out loud, why should homosexuals or bisexuals? I'm just going to live my life the way I want to, and people can draw whatever conclusions they want to. So no, I'm not going to bother myself with some awkward speech to my friends and family--they can figure it out themselves and live with it.
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I never had to. Just turned up with my bf's, introduced them as my bf or partner and everyone just dealt with it. No hysteria, no rejection, no long speeches, no religious tirades. Everyone figures it is better for me to be happy than unhappy and they have their own knitting to stick to.
 
rareboy said:
I never had to. Just turned up with my bf's, introduced them as my bf or partner and everyone just dealt with it. No hysteria, no rejection, no long speeches, no religious tirades. Everyone figures it is better for me to be happy than unhappy and they have their own knitting to stick to.
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I think you were able to do that because you obviously knew your family wasn't going to reject you. If I try to do the same with my family, it would make for a fun movie idea. "My Big Fat Muslim lynching." Too bad i won't be around to collect the money i get in the box office.
 
Yeah, I think you might want to do some more research on what exactly it means to "come out". Coming out isn't a proclamation to anybody or everybody.

Lex
 
Well, as stated, it depends on what you mean. If you mean you are just going to live your life and be honest when asked, then I'd say go for it. I didn't do the whole big speeches thing... except once, it was awkward and everything. But I have told people one way or another (eg. "are you dating anybody?" "well, I was dating this one guy, but it didn't work out") and I find that it works fine for me that way.

Some people just want it over with, want everybody to know. And that's great, that's their choice. I want people I care about to know... at some point. But I don't make a point of going around saying I'm gay and for me, it works. It's a very individual thing. But if you think you're going to live with a bf in a closet, I think that you'll find that extremely difficult.
 
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