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I've got to do it.

asu1117

asu1117

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I've got to finish coming out. I've been in this "halfway" trap for two years now and I'm sick of it. I've got to finish coming out. Which really only leaves one more step.


My Dad...


](*,)



The funny thing is, I care much more what my Mom thinks. And she took it wonderfully, two years ago. My relationship with my Dad has been a long, winding one. Lots of ups, even more downs. But we are better now than we ever have been before. Which is why I'm so afraid to do this. I'm afraid to ruin.


And I know all the stuff about him truly loving me, etc etc. "If he doesn't love me for who i am he's not worth my love" blah blah. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier to actually make the plunge.



It's important to note that he has no financial control over me, I don't live with him, etc. So the only thing I have to lose from this is my relationship with him.





Honestly I'm not even sure why I'm posting this.. I'm not asking a question. I think I'm just trying to build the courage to do it and hoped that typing it all out might help..
 
Honestly, I couldn't ever say 'I'm gay' to my parents. It just seemed too corny or something. Maybe I'm just a coward...

But they found out I was gay naturally on their own. That's the way I like things: organic. A tv special thing where I come out to my family just seems contrived and heavy-handed.

I think the reason guys don't want to do it isn't because of homophobia, it's just a sort of awkward thing that feels 'too PC' or something.

The way they found out was just as embarrassing though: A gay sex story I wrote about everybody in my gym class lol.

I think I should have tried the 'more PC' way I guess, because I don't want my parents to know about my sex life (and I don't wanna know about theirs either)
 
Best of luck man, we'll be here if it goes tits up. x
 
asu1117 said:
It's important to note that he has no financial control over me, I don't live with him, etc. So the only thing I have to lose from this is my relationship with him.
Click to expand...

Good luck.

Be aware that even if he takes it badly initially, he could feel better about things with some time to reflect on things and become more comfortable with the fact that you are gay.
 
Ok, I'm going to do it tomorrow (today, technically). I have to. I can't let myself put this off any longer. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge.. Scared, but I think I've finally mustered the courage.
 
Coming out is probably always about fear. The status quo is always at least known and changing that is the issue and it's true for many things in life. If the intitial reaction isn't total acceptance don't read anything into it until you get futher information. A real parent wants their child to be happy and have no unnecessary burdens. Some see society's homophobia as a burden. If you think he is reacting in that manner thank him for his concern and ask if you can continue the conversation at a latter time.

I'm a dad and obviously a son. In certain respects it is easier being a dad.

I wish you the very best today.
 
I did it. I'm now completely out of the closet.



I feel weird though. I think i'm still in shock, it's not even been an hour yet.
 
congratulations. you've put your relationships on honest ground. think of it not as a risk of loss but as a possibility of success...
 
I'm interested in what your dad's reaction too!

Let us know. I personally haven't come out to my parents. :( I'm still finding the right time. But I have this feeling they will be disappointed at the reveal. I also want to wait until I'm not dependent on them before I take the next time.
 
asu After telling us you did it at last and with the support you have here from all of us sitting on the edge of our seats, why are you making us wait so long to find out what happened and how it went. Play fair with us please(*8*)
 
I don't think a parent's non-acceptance is about them not being worthy of your love. I think it's about them not truly loving you.

I'm glad you told him.
 
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