So I used to be in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure I'm not anymore, and we get along just fine, but whenever I hear about him hooking up with someone or talking to someone new, I get upset. Idk if it's because I wish it was me that he was into, or because I'm upset that I don't have anyone to talk to and stuff. I used to be able to talk to any guy I wanted to, and the guys I liked always liked me back, then I gained a bunch of weight and now noone is ever interested in me. It hurts so bad. My best friend is incredibly attractive, and he always has a new guy. I hate it. Idk. I must be just insecure about things. I think about it often with my best friend and I would rather be his best friend than be a boyfriend that eventually turns into breakup. I just need to find a way not to care so much about him hooking up and stuff. It's confusing and hard. I hate it so much!!!!!
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Jealous of best friend.
- Thread starter 1208Rob
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Just_Believe18
of the 99%
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Then change.
Being jealous is the boner killer to everything. No one will ever want to date or be a friend to someone who only feels jealous as to what others have.
Lose weight. Challenge yourself to make yourself stronger and better. Your renewed confidence in your appearance and self-esteem will attract people.
Being jealous is the boner killer to everything. No one will ever want to date or be a friend to someone who only feels jealous as to what others have.
Lose weight. Challenge yourself to make yourself stronger and better. Your renewed confidence in your appearance and self-esteem will attract people.
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If you change the first 2 things, the last one won't be as much of a problem.
altlover85
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When did you gain weight and why?
midnight81
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Rob, I agree with the fact that you need to get out and meet new people and try to get past this stuff with your best friend, like a few others have said.
However, ignore the people who are telling you to lose the weight. If you can lose it and you WANT to lose it, then sure, go ahead. But if you just gained weight because you got older and this is natural for you, then you need to learn how to be confident at this weight, just as you were at the smaller weight.
I agree with soreknees that therapy might help you move past this stuff with your best friend and might also help you come to grips with your weight gain, rather than struggling to lose it and hating yourself if it doesn't work.
However, ignore the people who are telling you to lose the weight. If you can lose it and you WANT to lose it, then sure, go ahead. But if you just gained weight because you got older and this is natural for you, then you need to learn how to be confident at this weight, just as you were at the smaller weight.
I agree with soreknees that therapy might help you move past this stuff with your best friend and might also help you come to grips with your weight gain, rather than struggling to lose it and hating yourself if it doesn't work.
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Karabulut said:
Good point and to be clear about something...
It's not that just needs OP to lose the weight- he needs lose the excuse and gain back the self-confidence that he's lost somewhere along the line. There's health reasons for losing weight but this isn't about the weight- it's about having something or someone else to blame instead of taking responsibility for his own actions.
It's not fair to blame your friend's attractiveness for how you feel about yourself. You can change the latter, you can't change the former.
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
Agreed, and also there is a double standard involved if you are looking for Mr. Right but aren't willing to be Mr. Right yourself. Dating and relationships aren't solely about what you want, you have to represent yourself to other guys as an attractive prospect. Whatever that means to the type of guy you're after. Thinking that you don't have to put in any effort and still get your dream guy is wishful thinking.
You should be trying with yourself and bettering yourself as much as you expect in other guys. That doesn't have to mean that you try and be something you're not, and it doesn't have to be completely physical, but it does mean that you be the best you can be.
A note on physical, it does matter, but fortunately there is a lot of variation in what other guys like.
If you aren't comfortable about your weight, do something about that. You can control that, and controlling it will not only make you more comfortable, but give you more confidence for succeeding.
You should be trying with yourself and bettering yourself as much as you expect in other guys. That doesn't have to mean that you try and be something you're not, and it doesn't have to be completely physical, but it does mean that you be the best you can be.
A note on physical, it does matter, but fortunately there is a lot of variation in what other guys like.
If you aren't comfortable about your weight, do something about that. You can control that, and controlling it will not only make you more comfortable, but give you more confidence for succeeding.
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
Ok I wanted to pull this out separate. If you can't stop feeling things for this guy, and it's causing problems in your friendship.
Walk. For awhile at least, then distract yourself.
If you can't control yourself around this guy, then you need distance and time to deal with it.
That said, if you're hanging on to this infatuation for other reasons, such as safety (it's really safe to invest your emotions in someone you're never going to have a chance with - there's no risk involved) that's a whole other thing.
Walk. For awhile at least, then distract yourself.
If you can't control yourself around this guy, then you need distance and time to deal with it.
That said, if you're hanging on to this infatuation for other reasons, such as safety (it's really safe to invest your emotions in someone you're never going to have a chance with - there's no risk involved) that's a whole other thing.
hackingnomberr
Slut
Lose weight.
You're gay, we're extremely judgmental about bodies.~
You're gay, we're extremely judgmental about bodies.~