Just a bit awkward...

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

So say I have a classmate whom I emailed a while (as in months) ago about hanging out on a weekend. Well he never replied... I suppose he was caught off guard, and I was trying to be humorous in the email, but sometimes when I try to be humorous, it may come off as extremely strange... so I may have creeped him out.

So now, I see him pretty much everyday in class, since we're studying the same thing. We act extremely awkward and nervous around each other, though some days we are at least able to get a "hi how are you" out.

He's very likely gay. If hes not, then ridiculously gay friendly.

I regret sending him that email. I want to get to know him more, at least on a friend level like the rest of my classmates.

What do I do? I see him everyday, so I can't really "move on and ignore him."

Thanks.

 

[Seasoned]

Try to get him to the side and tell him your sorry for the tone of your email a month ago and that it wasn't your intention to creep him out.

Then I'd send him a longer email explaining what you'd really like to do is hang out.

 

[kramer362]

I respectfully disagree with sorekness. If he feels awkward then it'd be best to pretend it never happened and just start acting more comfortable towards the guy. He'll likely follow your example.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, without knowing what the email said it's kinda hard to gauge his reaction to it.

What did you say to him?

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

Something along the lines of blablabla I don't have anything to do with my life right now and I feel empty and bored, do you want to hang out with me this weekend.

I think I'm just going to force myself to at least appear more comfortable around him... just force myself to smile or something and make smalltalk like I do with everyone else... gez I hate doing that sometimes.

 

[KaraBulut]

Clear the air. Apologize for the email. Don't push the issue of hanging out. If he doesn't want to hang out, then move on.

At least this will remove the tension so that the two of you don't act weird around each other.

 

[rareboy]

No wonder he didn't reply. If someone said they only wanted to hang out with me because they were empty and bored and didn't have anything else to do, I might have replied, 'Fuck you'.

I agree. You need to apologize for your email and tell him that it wasn't what you meant; that like so many other people who are apparently incapable of communicating well through email, you get the message wrong.

Tell him that you thought of him because he'd be fun to hang out with.

 

[Hotswimguy82]

This exact scenario happened to me a few months ago (except my original message to him was pretty normal) and he ignored it. I see him around campus all the time now, so we've been playing the awkward avoidance game. It sucks.

 

[TX-Beau]

Something along the lines of blablabla I don't have anything to do with my life right now and I feel empty and bored, do you want to hang out with me this weekend.

I think I'm just going to force myself to at least appear more comfortable around him... just force myself to smile or something and make smalltalk like I do with everyone else... gez I hate doing that sometimes.

OK it's time to put away the silicon shield. A huge part of communication is non-verbal, and if he can't see you, you lose that advantage.

It's possible that he might have seen your humor if you had actually been talking to him.

The above sounds really kinda callous and rude, I'm sure you didn't mean that, and I'm sure that if you said that face to face I might get immediately that you were joking. It's why there are emoticons and the like, because it's really easy to misunderstand someone when speaking through pixels.

Yes it's easier, yes it's less intimidating, but it's also a crutch.

So yeah, you're going to have to mitigate this face to face. How? I don't know, I don't know you and I don't know him, but you might start with just being nice.

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

I don't mind callous and rude at all, I'm used to it.

So I was able to start a few conversations with him today, didn't feel unnatural at all. The only problem is that they were pretty much one sided conversations, with me asking him all the questions and nodding my head and him going on about whatever and whatever without once asking about me...

So I'm not going to hate him, but it's clear how things are going to go on from here. Thinking about this is simply too exhausting for me so I'm not going to seek anything past acquaintanceship with him, but if anything else turns up, I'll let you guys know, thanks!

 

[rareboy]

I don't mind callous and rude at all, I'm used to it.

uh.

He was referring to your message to your friend.

But you provide an important clue.

You should put away your electronic messaging thingys until you train yourself not to be callous or rude. Once you begin to appreciate that everything you type, or write, or say may have consequences, perhaps you'll become more sensitive to how your messages may be received by others and start to compose them with some sensitivity. A little less ID and EGO and a little more super-ego.

Next time, read you message out loud before you send it to see if you sound like an asshat.

 

[texan_slant]

Something along the lines of blablabla I don't have anything to do with my life right now and I feel empty and bored, do you want to hang out with me this weekend.

Inquiring minds want to know why you feel empty and bored. Seriously, don't let life pass you by.

Moving forward, you might want to plan, or think about, what you want to say before you communicate it;

Try to figure out why you're in the funk, to avoid saying EXACTLY how you feel - even when you feel shitty. It really doesn't even sound like you have a friendship connection here, so I'm not sure you want to continue to try so hard with this person.

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

okay okay, I'm going to reflect on my asshatery and lego-my-ego!

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

Aw crap I'm not attracted to him anymore!
Oh well.
I think I'm depressed, but I can't tell, or perhaps I have some kind of manic disorder?
Stay tuned as I go to a therapist tommorow and find out whats all the wacko jacko goings on in my head is all about!

 

[Fucker29]

Aw crap I'm not attracted to him anymore!
Oh well.
I think I'm depressed, but I can't tell, or perhaps I have some kind of manic disorder?
Stay tuned as I go to a therapist tommorow and find out whats all the wacko jacko goings on in my head is all about!

What changed?

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

I am attracted to him, I was just lying to myself.
I asked him if he wanted to hangout, he said yes and to shoot him a facebook message, which I did,
and now the mental battle begins again.
I should've just scheduled a day with him in person. Oh well.

Sorry for bumping, didn't want to make a new thread. Will keep ya'll updated, thanks!

 

[Croynan]

I am attracted to himSorry for bumping, didn't want to make a new thread. Will keep ya'll updated, thanks!

Please keep us posted. now that you are in therapy. it will be interesting to see if and
and how you now cope with this situation, hope all goes well.

eM.

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

Thanks Croynan!

He still hasn't responded to my email, strange since he told me to email him. I guess I'm not surprised, he seems like a flaky person.

I don't want to think about it anymore... I don't feel like I have the energy to be mad at him or ignore him when I see him in class.

But in other news, I met someone nice yesterday. At first it was just an internet hookup, but we ended up spending the rest of the day together - talking, cuddling, going out to eat, watching TV, more cuddling, and more sex... he is so sweet. Today we're going out to grab some food and see a movie.

I don't know how long this will last, but I'm glad it happened.