Just a little confused I guess...

[Pepsi2000]

Hi,

I’m new here and just looking for some advice or something really, I don’t know what. I’m just kind of looking to post my story and see what people think. Kind of confused right now.

Basically, I’m straight; I’m only attracted to girls and have never looked at a guy and been attracted to them. I am however turned on at the thought of men being attracted to me. I could never sleep with a guy, it just isn’t something I’m interested in or turned on by the though off, I have however gotten naked over Skype for men and masturbated whilst they watched. I’m the most turned on I’ve ever been whilst doing it but regret it as soon as it’s finished. I’ve been doing this for awhile and have been quite happy. Sleeping with girls etc but every now and again doing this.

However recently I’ve started to want to do something more exciting than over the internet. There is this public toilet in town near me which everyone knows is a bit of a cottaging hotspot. Over the last month or so I’ve gone in there, just to use the toilet and kind of look around, I don’t really know. However recently one thing led to another and I ended up getting naked and masturbating in there whilst two men watched me.

I’ve hated myself since then and have regretted it, but over the last couple days the regret is slowly turning into wanting to do it again. I’m also worried about the kind of situations I could be putting myself in but sometimes the desire gets too much and I don’t care until afterwards…

Like I said at the start, I don’t really know why I’m posting this, I just want to see what people have to say about it…

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

You're an exhibitionist. Have fun with that.

 

[BostonPirate]

hmmm

I think exhibitionism, for some straight men, can be gratifying when its in front of gay men.

the whole point of exhibitionism is that YOU enjoy it, you're excited by the fact that the viewer is excited by your display... the sexual identity of either party I think is secondary.

Being an exhibitionisst is not a bad thing, so long as you remember that all parties concerned need to be consenting adults, and that you are not breaking public decency laws.

So you just have to find your niche and accept that aspect of your sexual identity, and have fun without judging yourself.

Shame is a poison that can make a perfectly normal desire to be perceived as desireable into a dark and dirty thing if you let it.

So just be responsible and let yourself enjoy your sexuality.

 

[Mark-Knight]

I think it might also have to do with the thought that you're basically telling the men, "I know you want this, but you CAN'T have it." It might make you even feel a little superior. At least that's my take on it.

 

[BostonPirate]

I think it might also have to do with the thought that you're basically telling the men, "I know you want this, but you CAN'T have it." It might make you even feel a little superior. At least that's my take on it.

well the gay/straight relationship in an exhibitionistic environment would seem to also be comforrting to a degree.

If BOTH parties know and enjoy the idea that touching is not allowed, there is a certain element of forbidden fruit. That is not a bad thing. IT was the basis for the entire Burlesque movement. That the exhibitionist is not there to be touched, they are there to be watched and to perform.

Burlesque entertainers and the whole suicide girl movement are empowering both herero men and Women to Own their sexuality and enjoy its display.

This is an entirely different thing that a strip joint.

There is a culture out there of exhibitionism. IT is benign and fun. I like female burlesque as a gay man, so go figure that one out. Its not really sexual, its enjoying watching someone express their sexuality that I think is just plain old fun.

 

[Ram]

What are your thoughts about gay men and homo/bisexuality? Your regret and you feeling ashamed of what you did, the guilt..they seem to be the only hurdles here. Why do you think you regret it? Honest opinion. I know this is a gay forum but it's ok to say you have trouble accepting homosexuality (some gays have kinda the same problem too)

Whatever your answers are, you should carry on experimenting with the "I like men being attracted to me". Don't let your actions define your sexuality. I think you should experiment as much as and as long as you want until you are comfortable with your own brand of sexuality. The guilt and regret part, well honestly, they do go away when you adopt a more healthy attitude to what you are doing. If you feel like whatever acts you performed has degraded you and you feel betrayed then these feelings will never go away whether you stop your acts or not -- and worse, it gonna lead you to a very dangerous cycle of self-hate. You can overcome it if you cut yourself some slack.

Camming and toilet-cruising are some of the many outlets out there. Obviously you have seen male-centric porn hence you are in this forum. You can start posting pics of yourself or videos here. You can get a fuck buddy or a jo buddy as a watcher. Having someone you trust, a familiar, trustworthy figure may help you with your desires. Like you have said, it makes you happy. That is the important part.

You know what? I am on the other side of the stick here. Recently, I get turned on by sexy, submissive women. It kinda scares me a little. Firstly, me being gay and secondly, the whole submissive part. Makes me feel like some misogynist rapist wife-beating douche. I do feel the guilt part because for some stupid reason, I feel like I have betrayed my gayness. Secondly, I disliked the fact that I questioned my sexuality. I thought I was 100% gay but not apparently. I want to explore it and get it out of my head. I know I won't like it but my cock says otherwise. Of course it's not exhibitionism but it feels "weird".

 

[Ram]

If I am not wrong, in the Show Yourself sub-forum, there are straight and curious men showing their hot junk off. If you want too, you can contact them.

But your pm will probably be lost in the thousands of private messages sent by horny gay men.