just a question

[G-Lexington]

I lost my virginity at 25.

I just helped a guy come out on another website. He's 40.

What's past is past. The real question is - what are you gonna do now?

Lex

 

[screwnutty]

... i've just turned 26... it's awful...
i feel so pathetic

Now why do you feel pathetic? You shouldn't. I didn't taste my first guy until I was 22 years old. After he left me for a girl, I haven't been with anybody else. I'm 33 now. He dumped be back in 2004. I've had no offers, infact if it wasn't for the fact that we were both best friends and wanted to try it out with each other...I never would have ever been with a guy. There's no rules to this game Stitch. There's no winner and there's no loser. It's your game. You play it as you see fit. Don't let others set the guideline for you.

When were young, it's all about sex and people may say they love the person there with (maybe they really do) but it's time. Time spent to age and gain experience that makes the most. That's what really matters. Your feeling helpless and confused because this is all new to you. Scary feeling. I remember it well, but trust me. Follow Lex's advice. Give yourself time to get comfortable in your new skin. Give yourself time to accept that your gay. It won't be easy and it sure as hell won't be fun in the beginning...but as you start to accept yourself, you find things will start to fall into place. (kind of like a giant puzzle).

If you every want somebody to just be there for you and listen then please private message me. I'm on MSN (Windows Live). I can be your sounding board cause nobody should go through this alone. I had to and it wasn't pretty. I wish I would have found this site alot sooner in my life.

Anyways it's going to be okay. Trust me.

 

[Stitch627]

Thanks for the support. It's somehow helpful to be able to speak freely about all that stuff, and especially to people that can understand what you're going through, for in the everyday life you feel kind of all alone

Well, pathetic or whatever... but you know i feel like i let a lot pass me by and lost a lot of time, too much, really. And during all that time you can see your friends dating, in relationships, ...

The real question is - what are you gonna do now?

Good question
Probably trying what you said
no seriously i have to push myself, stop overthinking, feeling sorry for myself and give myself a shake

and at the same time, i can't help but having in mind: what if i'm wrong?

Then for example, looking at a guy, ain't easy. I mean... i think i fear i might be caught and that when i do it everyone sees it. And then what for? it's sure he's straight, so why taking the risk?

omg... when i read what i write

 

[bluepheonix]

it may be of use for you to actually carefully think about and then write down what it is that makes you fearful of being gay. You'd be surprised how many of us have had similar thoughts, and maybe we could all reply as to how we dealt with/moved past the fears you have.

 

[Stitch627]

You'd be surprised how many of us have had similar thoughts, and maybe we could all reply as to how we dealt with/moved past the fears you have.

nice to hear it

 

[alexander IV]

Screwnutty, how absolutely perfect ! Your comments were not only very cogent but more importantly they came truthfully from your heart. Stitch 627, we are all here for you. Our comments are occasioned out of interest and concern for you as a great swell guy. All of us have been shy or reserved at one time or another. But we are just happy with who we are. And so should you be. Go forth and find happiness. _____________________________________-

' Your life is a sham, 'till you can shout I am what I am. '

 

[DarkHelios]

Well, pathetic or whatever... but you know i feel like i let a lot pass me by and lost a lot of time, too much, really. And during all that time you can see your friends dating, in relationships, ...

Don't worry about lost time. I'm 28 (almost 29) and I've only started making serious attempts to enter the world of dating in the past few years and I don't feel its too late. I just needed a bit more time than others to get to a point where I could actually let someone know that I was attracted to them (though admittedly I still find it ridiculously difficult to do). I've made a lot of progress over the years, and while there's still work to be done, seeing how far I've come lets me know that the time hasn't been wasted.

Good question
Probably trying what you said
no seriously i have to push myself, stop overthinking, feeling sorry for myself and give myself a shake

and at the same time, i can't help but having in mind: what if i'm wrong?

I can completely sympathize with you here. Overthinking is my specialty. There's a point where you just have to tell your brain to shut up, take a chance, and deal with the consequences.

You're concerned that you could be wrong. To my knowledge there's no simple test to say if you're gay or not, but just pay attention to your feelings.
You obviously find something attractive about guys or you wouldn't be posting here. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're having a fantasy about some guy you met, let it play out it your head, enjoy it (this is pretty much what Lex was saying I think). It's in your head, it's private, so there's no worrying about what other people think. Hopefully over time this will help you understand yourself a bit better.

Then for example, looking at a guy, ain't easy. I mean... i think i fear i might be caught and that when i do it everyone sees it. And then what for? it's sure he's straight, so why taking the risk?
omg... when i read what i write

Read what you write. Sometimes when you write you put down things that you didn't realize you felt. If you don't have someone you can talk to, writing down your thoughts might help.

I don't find anything strange about what you've written. In some ways you're where I was a few years ago. Eventually I ended up attending a couple of discussion groups run by my university's GLBT group which helped me understand that yes, living as a gay man is a viable option.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>at the same time, i can't help but having in mind: what if i'm wrong?

You've spent the last 26 years being "wrong". If it ends up you're "wrong" again, what's a few more months?

>>>Then for example, looking at a guy, ain't easy. I mean... i think i fear i might be caught and that when i do it everyone sees it. And then what for? it's sure he's straight, so why taking the risk?

If you've never done it before, you may need to work on it. It's not ogling. Not leering. Just looking. Keep your eyes on them a bit longer than you would anyone else, then looking away for a bit, then looking again. And why do you do it? Because it's fun - that's why. Yeah, he's probably straight. So? It's window shopping. Looking at something nice, even if you're not gonna have it, y'know? My friend calls it "fantasy fuel".

Lex

 

[screwnutty]

Then for example, looking at a guy, ain't easy. I mean... i think i fear i might be caught and that when i do it everyone sees it. And then what for? it's sure he's straight, so why taking the risk?

Ah, the fear of getting caught. LOL. I still get that when I see a guy that catches my eye. But who cares Stitch. Really what's the worse that's going to happen? The guy might make a comment or two and you just move on. With time and practice, you'll be able to look without the guy noticing. Unless he's gay too, then he's on the prowl just like you. Most straight guys are too busy looking at girls to notice another guy looking at them.

As for him being "straight". Oh well, no big deal. It's like Lex said. Never know, one of these days that "straight" guy might stare back?

 

[G-Lexington]

You can always have a cover, if you need one. If a guy DOES catch you staring, and makes a comment, just sort of shake your head and say "I'm sorry - I really like that shirt/jacket/pants? Where did you get it?"

Lex

 

[Stitch627]

once again thanks for your messages
quite comforting

You can always have a cover, if you need one. If a guy DOES catch you staring, and makes a comment, just sort of shake your head and say "I'm sorry - I really like that shirt/jacket/pants? Where did you get it?"

Lex

And about your piece of advice, feel free to look at guys, let me tell you something interesting that happened to me this morning.

So, i go to the gym three times a week and i must confess i happen to check out guys.
And today while i was having some rest between 2 sets, a guy went by me and drew my attention: pretty face, blue shorts, white tank top all wet by the sweat so that you could guess an amazing body. So... not bad at all
He worked out not very long, but during that time i glanced at him 2-3 times. Then he left and i finished my session. I went to the locker room and when i was about to leave i realized that the cute guy had just opened his locker in the same row as i was and that we were alone in that row. So... i never do it but i pretended to find something in my bag, eventually took my cell phone and pretended to send a text message. I just wanted to gain time and see if he would take off his clothes and get naked... what he did. And I was like omg. I saw him from behind and then by the front but he managed to put a towel around him meanwhile And i mean wow, he had such a perfect body, his ass, legs, pecs and face... everything This lasted maybe 10 seconds, but it gave me such a boner. I had never been that hard, it almost hurt. I was even surprised by the intensity of my reaction. And i remained hard all the way back home (i walked for 10 min and it was really freezing).

That's really the first time it happens to me.

 

[G-Lexington]

And that, my fine furry friend, is how to sneak a look at a guy. But beyond that - the way you felt after looking at his body? Being so hard, you almost rip a hole in your underwear? THAT is what it's like to live by your programming.

...it completely and utterly kicks ass.

Lex