Just came out to my sister...

[azndude89]

while driving home and she was shocked. I thought she knew from the get go- honestly.
She asked if I was joking and I kept on repeating no.
She said I blindsided her and she didnt expect it at all...

This is gonna get tough

wish me luck!

 

[anchihiro]

Well then good luck.


Is she the first person? If so why tell her?

 

[azndude89]

Nah, I told my close friends first, so if something like this happens and I need a place to crash, I'd have some place to go.

 

[Seasoned]

Well, good luck with your sister. Too bad all response aren't like my 8 year old daughter's 26 years ago. "Daddy, I don't care if you're from the other side of the earth."

 

[dhchitown1984]

azndude: Congrats on coming out to your sister! Coming out to family is the hardest for a lot of people because they are the only people in your life that you can't just kick out of yours if they aren't supportive.

Be ready for a few reactions in the coming days. She may pull you aside and say she's totally cool, she may say she's not, she may say that she doesn't know.

Just remember that whatever she says or does in the coming days is coming from her really thinking about how she feels about sexuality as a whole. Whatever she says or does, she's saying and doing those things because she cares about you. (Even if her reaction isn't a positive one in your eyes, she believes that it will be good, supportive advice.) If it's a negative reaction, she's only reacting from what she knows and doesn't know. If it's positive, great!

Do'nt be afraid to ask her for confidentiality during this process either. It's not her news to share, it's not her conversation to have with others. In due time, you won't care if she says anything to anybody, but this is an important step for you, and she will respect that if you ask. She may not understand that it's something to keep between the two of you until you explain it to her.

Best of luck, keep us posted, and we're all here to give you advice or guidance if you need it.

 

[andrew thomas]

Azndude,

When you come out to relative they all act differently. I came out to my sister. she respond " It is not normal " she did not object and she did not agree. she never mention that again. In some occasion someone bring it out the same topic. she will avoid to talk about it. we are still in very good relation till now. she did not treat me any differently.

I came out to my parents. they refuse to accept the fact. they choose the thing they want to listen and they ignor the thing they do not want to hear. uptill now they still can not accept I am gay but they do not force me for anything. only one thing bordering me is every now and then they will play the guilty tricks on me.

As I said difference people will react differencely. I hope your sister will like mine. we still in very good relationship.
good luck.

Andrew

 

[mbamike]

Good luck!

 

[azndude89]

azndude: Congrats on coming out to your sister! Coming out to family is the hardest for a lot of people because they are the only people in your life that you can't just kick out of yours if they aren't supportive.

Be ready for a few reactions in the coming days. She may pull you aside and say she's totally cool, she may say she's not, she may say that she doesn't know.

Just remember that whatever she says or does in the coming days is coming from her really thinking about how she feels about sexuality as a whole. Whatever she says or does, she's saying and doing those things because she cares about you. (Even if her reaction isn't a positive one in your eyes, she believes that it will be good, supportive advice.) If it's a negative reaction, she's only reacting from what she knows and doesn't know. If it's positive, great!

Do'nt be afraid to ask her for confidentiality during this process either. It's not her news to share, it's not her conversation to have with others. In due time, you won't care if she says anything to anybody, but this is an important step for you, and she will respect that if you ask. She may not understand that it's something to keep between the two of you until you explain it to her.

Best of luck, keep us posted, and we're all here to give you advice or guidance if you need it.

Yea, she's still in denial i think and she's not really bringing up the subject. I'm just going to take it one day at a time and whenever she wants to talk about it, i'll be ready. I already told her not to spread it around like forest fire. but it's okay that she tells some people. She said to ask her lesbian friend if I have any questions or if i need help with all this stuff. But next week, i'm going to go up with her to her college for a couple of days for one on one hang out time and see if she says anything. wish me luck!

Azndude,

When you come out to relative they all act differently. I came out to my sister. she respond " It is not normal " she did not object and she did not agree. she never mention that again. In some occasion someone bring it out the same topic. she will avoid to talk about it. we are still in very good relation till now. she did not treat me any differently.

I came out to my parents. they refuse to accept the fact. they choose the thing they want to listen and they ignor the thing they do not want to hear. uptill now they still can not accept I am gay but they do not force me for anything. only one thing bordering me is every now and then they will play the guilty tricks on me.

As I said difference people will react differencely. I hope your sister will like mine. we still in very good relationship.
good luck.

Andrew

I'm glad those arent the words that my sister said- though i'm sorry your sister reacted like that. I dont know how my parents would react. They would totally be shocked for sure. ::sigh:: why must being gay be difficult?!?!?!

 

[azndude89]

and thanks for the feed back guys!

 

[jmadaf]

You got more guts than me, I'll just stay in the closet, unless I get caught someday. Told your sister so she could tell the rest of the family, unless you told her not to. Oops didn't think of that.

 

[andrew thomas]

Hi Azndude,

Tell me about it. it is difficult of being gay. My parents in fact they know for long time but they do not want to accept it is the fact. I can't help them. they have to do it themselves My sister is quite the same but she just don't want to talk about it and it is fine for me. If she don't want to talk I will not bring up.

from what you wrote I am sure your sister still love you. she event told you if your have any question can seek advice from her lesbian friend. this prove she still care about you. I think you will be fine when you have a chance spend some time alone with her. She may be in the shocking period she will soon be in accept period. good luck to your time with her. keep us post what will going on later. cheers

Andrew

 

[azndude89]

Thanks for everything guys

Update: She barely mentions it (a joke here and there, but no deep convo). Still in shock mode I think. Things are getting back to normal to what it was (before coming out). So I'm going to keep my mouth shut unless she brings it up again. She knows the truth, I'm just going to give her time to soak it in.

Next step... the parent... it's probably going to take place in their death beds most likely