Just confuse or lost ?

[darkmusses]

Hi. I am new to this and would like an advise.

I am having problem in getting into relationship because I realize people around me have bad intentions. I am in my 20s and have not be in any relationship be it guys or gals but I am open to any possibilities though.

I am not a picky person as all I ever want in the relationship is true and sincere. Take example for movies like Torch Song Trilogy, Maurice, Shelter, Bent etc etc. Am I too naive to think such relationship exist or just being unrealistic.

 

[HunterM]

If you base real life on what you have seen in the movie, then you're being naive. Movies are scripted out by writers and directors. They always find a perfect scenario to end their movies. Life is not perfect. Reality bites. However, those are opportunities/lessons to learn how to bounce back...how to make the best of the situation...how to live a full life despite setbacks in life, in relationships.

Are you gay? Do you want to have sex with guys? If you are gay, are you out?

Why do you think EVERYONE around you have bad intentions? Maybe you should not be hanging around those people. Maybe it is time for you to cut your ties with these losers and make new friends that are encouraging and supportive.

 

[Seasoned]

As someone who has been married to a woman for 14 years and a man for 30, my advice would be to stop looking for a relationship and just live your life, letting yourself develop your interests with the intention of being the person you wish to be in terms of employment and personal interests. Once you have some contentment in your life relationships will follow.

 

[bruce379]

You are still young. The right one will come along.

 

[Georgiadude]

Relationships take time to develop. You usually start off by meeting someone in more of a friend level. I'm not sure what you mean by bad intentions but you need to get out into the world and meet people. A lover isn't going to just fall out of the sky. You have to meet people and get to know them. If you're looking for a guy It's a lot easier if people know you're gay or bi. My suggestion is to make friends. A relationship will develop from that. Best if luck

Steven

 

[darkmusses]

If you base real life on what you have seen in the movie, then you're being naive. Movies are scripted out by writers and directors. They always find a perfect scenario to end their movies. Life is not perfect. Reality bites. However, those are opportunities/lessons to learn how to bounce back...how to make the best of the situation...how to live a full life despite setbacks in life, in relationships.

Are you gay? Do you want to have sex with guys? If you are gay, are you out?

Why do you think EVERYONE around you have bad intentions? Maybe you should not be hanging around those people. Maybe it is time for you to cut your ties with these losers and make new friends that are encouraging and supportive.

I don't think the problem is being my sexuality but there are not much rights in the country that I live in. For some reason, it is against the culture that .. so mostly the guys here are desperate and I do feel pity for them

 

[darkmusses]

As someone who has been married to a woman for 14 years and a man for 30, my advice would be to stop looking for a relationship and just live your life, letting yourself develop your interests with the intention of being the person you wish to be in terms of employment and personal interests. Once you have some contentment in your life relationships will follow.

I'm trying to get some insight of ppl with experience. I am much content now although will be better off with relationship but somehow I am closer to the girls than the guys. I am open to any relationship and sadly to say, I have not been into any relationship because of knowing people around from stranger to friends where they take advantage from almost every aspect .. sigh ~

 

[darkmusses]

You are still young. The right one will come along.

I am 26 and ppl keep asking if I had a partner =.=!!

 

[darkmusses]

Relationships take time to develop. You usually start off by meeting someone in more of a friend level. I'm not sure what you mean by bad intentions but you need to get out into the world and meet people. A lover isn't going to just fall out of the sky. You have to meet people and get to know them. If you're looking for a guy It's a lot easier if people know you're gay or bi. My suggestion is to make friends. A relationship will develop from that. Best if luck

Steven

It is easier said than done actually. Just hate ppl staring at some point of time as if I did or act something funny. Even when I'm out with the guys or girls, ppl just like to stare and I just somehow like and hate it at the same time.

 

[justanothershyguy]

It is easier said than done actually.

That goes for many things in this world, my friend. I have to agree with Steven, start with friends and then go from there. Otherwise expectations overrule what normally may not matter. Even with friends, you're bound to start meeting other people who are their friends too.. you never know what will happen!

 

[eastofeden]

If you want the "best relationship" for yourself...you need to develop the "best relationship" WITH YOURSELF ...this is the key to pretty much everything in life including having successful and gratifying relationships with others.

You should sit down and have a talk with yourself and ask yourself what qualities are important to you? Don't compare yourself to anyone else...pretend you have no examples of what to ask for and be honest with yourself. We are all different people and are supposed to be different people so your answer needs to be right for you and may not apply to other people around you or the examples you have seen.

Next...ask yourself what you have to bring to the table...what you have to offer the other person. A lot of people think a lot about what they want and not too much about what they have to give. It is important.

 

[darkmusses]

If the person I know is a douche bag, I wont even wanna know he friends. There is a saying you click because there is a similarities but I still hope the best in everyone. I do have some very close friends but I am nt really interested in knowing friend's friend.

 

[darkmusses]

If you want the "best relationship" for yourself...you need to develop the "best relationship" WITH YOURSELF ...this is the key to pretty much everything in life including having successful and gratifying relationships with others.

You should sit down and have a talk with yourself and ask yourself what qualities are important to you? Don't compare yourself to anyone else...pretend you have no examples of what to ask for and be honest with yourself. We are all different people and are supposed to be different people so your answer needs to be right for you and may not apply to other people around you or the examples you have seen.

Next...ask yourself what you have to bring to the table...what you have to offer the other person. A lot of people think a lot about what they want and not too much about what they have to give. It is important.

I already know what I want. It is just the matter of finding the person I need in my life. I dont even bother if my other half is a gal or a guy. All I want is just sincere hearts and just be honest to themselves. I love hugging kissing and holding hands, go out for drinks, movies or even sports. It is a very simple wants and needs I think yet it is very hard for someone to have the same interest like I do. I am willing to do the same or even more for the person I am with since I believe relationship is important to me and nt to mess around with.

 

[HunterM]

Usually, an intimate relationship involves sex. A sexless relationship is rare...at least it is in the western culture. Don't know about your country.

Would you rather have sex with a man or with a woman?

 

[Georgiadude]

It is easier said than done actually. Just hate ppl staring at some point of time as if I did or act something funny. Even when I'm out with the guys or girls, ppl just like to stare and I just somehow like and hate it at the same time.

I know it's easier said than done. But it doesn't change the fact that people aren't going to come knocking on your door asking if you want to be their friends. I've lived in small communities and now live in a city of around 7 million people. Guess what. It's just as hard making friends here as it is in a small community. I don't have many friends and I'm trying to change that. It takes time and effort. As for the people looking, let them look. Straight guys hang out with their male friends and have a good time. Why can't gay or bi? You're setting yourself up for a lonely life by worrying about what others are going to think. I've been there and done that. I've decided I don't want to live that way any more and I'm working on it. So yes. It is easier to say than to do. But I'm doing it.

Steven.

 

[darkmusses]

Usually, an intimate relationship involves sex. A sexless relationship is rare...at least it is in the western culture. Don't know about your country.

Would you rather have sex with a man or with a woman?

I am nt really into sex and I don't know why. I know sex is important to a lo of ppl but I just cant . I have no preference who to have sex with because I am virgin .. Lol

 

[HunterM]

If you're not really into sex with a man or a woman, then you should look for someone (a man or a woman) who is not into sex either to be compatible with you...for the relationship to last.

 

[darkmusses]

If you're not really into sex with a man or a woman, then you should look for someone (a man or a woman) who is not into sex either to be compatible with you...for the relationship to last.

And that is exactly what I am doing and searching til now .. Lol