The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Just getting it out there

A

arieliam

On the Prowl
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Posts
71
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I'm tired of fighting for a relationship I have been in now for 7 years. Things go really well for anywhere from 2 to 3 months and then all hell breaks loose again. Inevitably the problems start following a visit with my partners mother. And the truth is the issues are never the same twice but always the same theme. The family has problems and my partner is supposed to fix them. Which usually means $$$ and since I am the primary wage earner then that effects my bottom line and our life. It has gotten so bad that I have given up having vacations (not too long ago they happened every two months) and it has been almost a year since I have had a day to myself. Anyone who runs their own business will understand that if you don't physically get away then you are always working. I am at a loss and just wanted to have any feedback anyone may have to offer. Feels good just to write this and get it off my chest. Thanks for any comments you might have.

Regards
Ariel
 
I feel your pain my friend. Yes I do understand what its like. When you run a business you do need time to yourself. I had to start taking that time three years ago, and I don't let anything stop me. If I did I would lose my sanity. I am no longer in a relationship, but when i was i constantly had to tell my boyfriend that I needed time away from things and people. Of course he never understood that, and thats probubly one of the reasons we broke up, (among other things), but I would urge you to take the time you need. Your business life and your emotional life will be better for doing it.
Be good to yourself...and good luck!!
 
Well I am not sure what the answer is but you are right of the importance of getting away when you are self employed.

It is a difficult issue when it involves your partners family - never an easy topic to bring up and discuss.

But I think you do need to talk it through otherwise these issues have a habit of getting worse until something or someone snaps and that is never the best solution.

Good luck (*8*)
 
Well, Ariel. Your partner isn't supposed to bring all his family problems to your table and they really shouldn't be coming for handouts.

That being said, I don't think that anyone needs vacations every two months while others are in need, there should be some balance. You two should have a vacation fund which is there just for the two of you.

If he wants to support his family, fine. He can get two jobs.

Have it out once and for all. If you end up splitting, at least you can take anice long holiday.
 
Yes, your partner should get another job if it is required to help his parents. While he may need $$$ help from you from time to time, he should be the person who works for his family. Just think, what would happen if you needed to help your family. There would not be any $$$ to help because they would already be given to his parents. A little selfish and short sighted on your partners part.
 
How much of this have you actually discussed with your partner?
 
You're in a tough situation. Not knowing his family circumstances, I'm going to assume their problems are not due to something beyond their control (such as a serious illness). Until your partner realizes that it's not fair to burden you with his family problems, your problems will continue. Your partner probably also needs to realize that it's not fair to of his family to expect him to bail them out. You two should get some counseling before this destroys your relationship.

If you don't already have separate bank accounts, you may want to consider that. Have him pay his fair share of your joint bills and he can spend the rest however he pleases. If he needs a second job to support his family, so be it.

PS - If the family problems are totally related to a serious illness, then I think you have to support your partner as he supports his family. That part comes with the territory.
 
Thanks all for your comments. In response to some questions, this has nothing to do with health issues, if it were I would be the first one there to help. And yes we have talked it over and over and over, every two to three months. The only answer I have is to call it quits, if things would have changed by now they would have. Again thanks all, I'll let you know how things are going.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top