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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Just here for some advice...

thekspot

thekspot

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I do not post here often, sometimes just for advice, but I am in a sticky situation.

I recently came out to my parents, and they didn't exactly kick me out, but they were not happy with the whole deal. I decided for my own health/sanity I had to move out. The thing is I do not have a place to stay.

I have been out of the house for 2 weeks now, crashed at a friends house, been in and out of a shelter, and really need a place to stay. I have enough money to rent out a place for atleast a month, but need a roof over my head while I find a place. I am not sure what to do, do not like to beg, but I am a bit stuck.

I live in Toronto, and know there is a lot of support near the village, so that is where I am close by. If anyone has any helpful tidbits please let me know.

I do not want to return to the shelter or back home.
 
Go to 519 Church Street and talk to someone there. I'm sure they can help.
 
Let's clarify this a bit. What exactly are you looking for?

Advice?
Money?
A friendly JUBber to offer a place to live? For the night? For the week? Indefinitely?

Lex
 
Well, it sounds to me that you really need to find a job.
Get a weekly/monthly income so you can pay for your own place to stay, either a room or an apartment.

I guess it's not easy to leave your parents' home that suddenly, but if that happened to me the first thing I'd look for is a job so I could survive on my own. :)
 
I wont be easy, you can do this. Look for a cheap room to rent for now, and save money, get a job if you dont already, and also get a pt job/ Temp agency jobs to help get some fast extra money to be able to live and pay your expences. Look at all shelter options, nad just keep your head high and go day by day. In the long run it will make you a better person and it will aslo show your parents that you can do it on your own, and it will show some maturity and respondsibility. Nothing in life is a free ride. But work through this and you will come out better in the long run you will see.


Keep us posted as to how you are doing. Wish you the best and we'll say a extra prayer for you..
 
Thanks to all the posters.

I have been looking for a job constantly, I am keeping it simple, working towards a place of my own and a job.

I did visit 519, and they did help somewhat but they dont usually do walk-in type meetings.

I am not sure what I am looking for exactly, advice, steps on what to do next. But thanks for this
 
I'd try to work things out with your parents better.

What specifically happened anyway? Did they try to hurt or threaten you?

Were you okay with your gayness over night? Or did it take you some time to figure it out? Well, it will be the same thing with them.

Getting a job and keeping up with it its harder than it looks, it's a HUGE responsibility of course, you know that- and also paying your own bills, taking care of shit yourself. Are you really ready for it? Cause you have to just keep doing it and stuff.

And well you could get a sugar daddy, I'm kinda morally against that tho because you're dependent on somebody else, and that might not be the wisest choice.... and the dude might have lots of cash but be nasty. And he could control you too easily perhaps.

So I think what's really in store here, is to find some way to mend with your parents and they can help you out.
 
I don't post very often either; your question rattled me though.

I sincerely hope your parents did not threaten you in any way. If they didn't harm you in any way, ask yourself this: If they knew I was out on the streets, what would their reaction be?
If you can answer that question truthfully and honsetly you will know whether they would accept you coming home.
The second question should be this: If they allowed me (or wanted me) to come home, would they accept my orientation; or would they taunt me with mental anguish over it?
Answer that one truthfully and honestly, pay attention to how the answer makes you feel and you will know whether you should go back to living under their roof.
If you decide you must stay on your own, do not, I repeat - DO NOT - go finding yourself in a a sugar-daddy relationship or any other relationship you could have trouble getting out of. Better to rely on the charity of friends than do something like that.
I hope you find someone to help you... The city I live in has shelters specifically for young men who have been thrown out, or left home, due to sexual orientation. The shelter helps them find work, gives them a place to sleep and shower, and meals, etc. If your friends get tired of putting you up, don't be too proud to go to a shelter such as this. It breaks my heart to hear about young guys living on the street because they felt there were no alternatives. The streets are tough, rough, dangerous, and are not conducive to finding permanent working and living arrangements. Avoid this trap.
Be careful, be safe.
And please let us know how you are.
 
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