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just looking for insight...

S

silverfirius

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so... just as the title states:

I am new tom the whole dating and relationship scene. I've been seeing this guy who just wants to be friends and see what "happens' afterwards. I just have have to say, friends don't cuddle and stroke each other's hair. Which is what did happen.
Needless to say i got con fused when he tried getting close all this weekend,,, but during ht e school day said he just wanted to be friends. I guess what am asking is: Should I just let this guy 'let it be' and move on?
 
He wants to be just friends.

Some friends do just cuddle and stroke one another's hair.

If you feel something more for him and can't be just friends, then tell him so and widen your circle of friends.

Otherwise, just let things take their own course. Maybe he just needs a long gentle courtship before he's comfortable with the idea of sex.
 
make up your mind about what you want, and react accordingly. so, what do you want? make out, have sex, get to know him, be just friends, be fuckbuddies, have a relationship? make the appropriate moves, be blunt about it if he doesnt get it. if he doesnt want the same things you want, decide wether youre willing to compromise. if yes, do so; if no, move on. if hes sending mixed signals, call him out on it, make him explain. if you suspect hes playing mindgames, run.
 
Even though I'm new to the whole scene, I'm having a weird situation myself, you can read the whole thread I posted before since it's kinda long.

But my point here is, that you really need to think what you're looking for, be it that you wanna get something from him, or if it could be obtained from someone else, because it happened to me with a guy. He started sending signals and making some moves, and then he suddenly made a super clear/aggressive move, and really made me rethink what I was looking for, and how I will play my cards from now on.

And about the, "just have have to say, friends don't cuddle and stroke each other's hair." line, well, one of my friends let me do some cuddling, but you could feel some distance, it wasn't all reciprocal, and if I tried to take it further you could feel he was uneasy and moved, and with time I realized that I was falling for somebody that would never feel the same, and let those feelings go away, and even though I don't see him as much, we're still good friends.
But on the other hand, another friend actually liked to flirt with me and play with my hair, but I believe that he's playing sick games, so I built limits regarding our friendship, I won't let him mess with my head. Just like x-cess said, if you feel that he's playing some twisted mind game, then go away or make clear that there's limits to their actions, and look for someone else.

Just be careful and listen to both your head and your feelings. And good luck!
 
Since you're new to the dating scene, don't start a pattern of letting other guys control the relationship.

This guy is giving you the ultimate mixed message - that he just wants to "be friends" but then when he wants to be affectionate and cuddly, then it changes to "see where it goes".

In other words, he wants to use you for affection when he wants it but doesn't want either of you to have any emotional connection.

Decide what you want. If this guy can't deliver what you want, end the dating relationship and go find someone who can give you what you're looking for.
 
yeah that made me #-o as well. but i get the impression justlove identifies himself closer with straight people, and i hear many straight people only regard vaginal (and sometimes anal) penetration as "sex". i even read stories about christian teenagers who only had anal sex with eachother because they wanted to "stay virgins until marriage"
](*,)
 
Anything done with another person that might cause either of you to have an orgasm, is sex.
 
Justlove856 said:
really? so foreplay is sex....if i play with a guys nipples and he jacks off that sex? if two virgins get together and jack off in the same room (getting off by looking at each other) i guess they are not virgins after that? WOW
Click to expand...

haha, i hope you change your view to that once you get into a monogamous relationship;-)

apart from that, i agree, i have a good friend who i use to cuddle with at times and every now and then we sleep together, so its not thaat uncommon for friends

not the hair-thing though. seems a bit gay to me;-)
 
Guys- the point of this forum is to provide advice to the OP, not to debate the definition of sex.

Back on topic...
 
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