The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

just needed to vent

M

Moss

On the Prowl
Joined
Aug 9, 2006
Posts
103
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
buffalo/rochester
ive known that im gay for awhile, idk why it took me so long but i finally accepted around my 21st birthday back a few months ago. also finally came out to my uncle (who is also gay) and i kind of realized that being gay is such a small part of who i am i shouldn't let it affect me so much.

i thought i would feel better after the talk but now currently i've been more stressed out than ever. i want to just get it over with and tell a few people, but it's not like i have the biggest friend circle to begin with ( i keep a tight circle ) and i dont want to lose the friends i already have.

i am what you would call 'straight acting' and im tryin to get into the one industry that is competely alpha-male dominated (sports management) so i feel like i have to make a choice. Either be openly gay and probably have reduced chances to get in the industry (whether i choose bball/football or whatever) or be closeted and feel miserable.

It's not like I'm tryin to wear my pride on my sleeve but at the same time if i came out i would probably change a lot of people's perceptions around me of who is gay and change the typical stereotypes people have. Maybe it will be a good thing for everything around me rather than worrying about the potential impact that it would have on myself. It's like I feel that I have a social responsibility to come out of the closet so people's views can be changed to a certain point.

so idk what to do or who to turn too. i just needed to vent and get more of a perspective from people in my shoes. i feel like my situation is kind of unique to a certain extent but maybe im just stressin out too much. it does feel good to get it out though.

/blog #-o
 
Yeah, exactly how is it that straight guys act again? Do you mean the fucking pussy thing?

So. If I have this right, you feel you have a need to come out, because you'll change so many people's expectations about what gay men are like?

Look, I always applaud people being honest about who they are, but you know, that whole thing about straight acting is a dodge, it's a completely queer defined stereotype of straight men no different than the one you seem to have about gay men.

Do you honestly think you're the only butch queer on the planet?

Are you really as butch as you think you are?
 
Ignore the bitchy reply from Tex.
Your concerns are valid. Coming out is a process that takes time. Being out has potential consequences that are different for each of us. Only you can decide what is right for your situation.
What I can be sure of, is that, at the end of the day, you should be true to yourself and who you are.

Everything else will fall into place.
 
LOL, Bitchy? If I was being bitchy I'd have pointed out that gay men who pretend they're straight obviously have issues.

Frankly I thought I was far more diplomatic than that.

I would've point out that being true to yourself and who you are isn't hiding in the closet for whatever reason.

Hmmm, maybe the bitchy isn't me.
 
I think you answered you own question when you wrote about being miserable if you stay in the clost. It's a shitty place to be. You've told your uncle, now talk to him about these issues. You won't have much impact on the stereotyping; that won't change until the gay sports figures come out of the closet. Whatever you do, do it for yourself.
 
TX-Beau said:
Look, I always applaud people being honest about who they are, but you know, that whole thing about straight acting is a dodge, it's a completely queer defined stereotype of straight men no different than the one you seem to have about gay men.
Click to expand...

eh...for the record that's why i put it in quotes, i understand that not all gay men fall under a stereotype, i just look in the mirror and realize this. it's obvious that most of society throws us under a certain image though, and i was tryin to get that point across.
 
dsh122 said:
What I can be sure of, is that, at the end of the day, you should be true to yourself and who you are.

Everything else will fall into place.
Click to expand...

soreknees said:
Whatever you do, do it for yourself.
Click to expand...

yeah honestly i should probably be more worried about the impact on me and my everyday life, not society at large. for whatever reason i feel like i have the responsibility though, its weird.

im takin it day by day i guess, everyday i feel more comfortable accepting myself so hopefully i can just get it off my chest.
 
student123212003 said:
eh...for the record that's why i put it in quotes, i understand that not all gay men fall under a stereotype, i just look in the mirror and realize this. it's obvious that most of society throws us under a certain image though, and i was tryin to get that point across.
Click to expand...


Quotes or not, look, you describe yourself that way you're going to pull in a whole other set of issues. There is no such thing as a straight acting gay man.

I've been there and I know the code. All this talk of being out to change people's perceptions is what exactly, are you looking for a reason to be out? There isn't one bigot on the planet who's going to change his mind no matter how butch you are. You fuck guys, that's enough for them. Most of society is thankfully not them, and your friends - if they are your friends - will still be your friends if you toss everything over and become the most flamboyant drag queen that ever existed.
 
NineOfClubs said:
Huh?

Sure there are. I've met many, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that...
Click to expand...

So back to the original question, what exactly is a straight acting gay man?

How is it exactly that straight men act?

Do all straight guys act the same?

Which straight guy are you acting like?
 
Just because you don't tell someone your gay doesn't mean your in the closet.

You can be quite happy being gay but you just go about your business keeping your private and business lives separate. There is a happy balance there all you need to do is to find it
 
^ what he said.

...and I bet you'll be surprised at how many gays there are in sports management anyway.

BTW...why is it that every kid is now pursuing sports management as a career? It has to be an extremely competitive niche market. Is there actually a market out there for it, because all the kids that I know who went to college for sports management end up doing something completely different like managing restaurants or working in event promotion companies.

Just sayin' you might be worrying for nothing.
 
You can try to be out to only your friends or whoever you choose to know. And you can just act like you usually do ('straight acting') when you're at work.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top