texan_slant
Sex God
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Throw yourself a party and invite all of your friends.
Throw yourself a party and invite all of your friends.
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Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move On?
- Thread starter johnnyc77
- Start date
C
CSI_3Stokes
Guest
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
You use your feet and walk or your boots are made for walkin'.
You use your feet and walk or your boots are made for walkin'.
C
CSI_3Stokes
Guest
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
What he said.
What he said.
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Hi all,
Just thought I'd post an update on my life...
I do have to say, first of all, that I appreciate all of the feedback from EVERYONE, but I must, too, point out that some of the more "blunt" comments are best remembered as easier said than done. I don't believe that you just pick up and move on right away after 10 years with someone....As others have stated, it's a process and a very slow one at that....I'm trying my best and doing quite well if I do say so. Sure, I have my moments, but I am making steps to take care of ME.
I joined an online dating site just to put it out there...I have had quite a few responses and have met a couple of great guys! I have to admit that I was reluctant to do so at first, but it really has made me sort of forget my previous life at times and it's nice to feel attractive to others again...I was starting to doubt myself! ;-) I went to Chicago Pride on Sunday and it was FANTASTIC! So good to be around other gays! And so MANY of them at the same time!
Anyhow....slowly but surely, I'm making progress....Thought I'd drop a line here and let you all know. Thanks again for the advice! I never refuse any great words of wisdom!
-JC
Hi all,
Just thought I'd post an update on my life...
I do have to say, first of all, that I appreciate all of the feedback from EVERYONE, but I must, too, point out that some of the more "blunt" comments are best remembered as easier said than done. I don't believe that you just pick up and move on right away after 10 years with someone....As others have stated, it's a process and a very slow one at that....I'm trying my best and doing quite well if I do say so. Sure, I have my moments, but I am making steps to take care of ME.
I joined an online dating site just to put it out there...I have had quite a few responses and have met a couple of great guys! I have to admit that I was reluctant to do so at first, but it really has made me sort of forget my previous life at times and it's nice to feel attractive to others again...I was starting to doubt myself! ;-) I went to Chicago Pride on Sunday and it was FANTASTIC! So good to be around other gays! And so MANY of them at the same time!
Anyhow....slowly but surely, I'm making progress....Thought I'd drop a line here and let you all know. Thanks again for the advice! I never refuse any great words of wisdom!
-JC
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Hi Johnnyc77!
Well, I think that meeting some guys just to make friends is an excellent way to start! As some other people suggested, get active! Like anything what would occupy your mind is good! And if you are a fan into sports, do some exercise!
I know it's all better said than done... I myself had hard time after I lost my best friend (after 5 yrs) after I fell in love with him, but it gradually calmed down and now I can say I'm quite fine.
But, take yourself a time. Once I read that the length of the process of complete healing goes like this: years in relationship/2. This is not meant to scare you, but just remember to be patient and be active!
I am convinced that 1 year later you would be much better and if it goes really bad for a long time, you might try psychological counselling anyway...
I wish you all the best!
Hi Johnnyc77!
Well, I think that meeting some guys just to make friends is an excellent way to start! As some other people suggested, get active! Like anything what would occupy your mind is good! And if you are a fan into sports, do some exercise!
I know it's all better said than done... I myself had hard time after I lost my best friend (after 5 yrs) after I fell in love with him, but it gradually calmed down and now I can say I'm quite fine.
But, take yourself a time. Once I read that the length of the process of complete healing goes like this: years in relationship/2. This is not meant to scare you, but just remember to be patient and be active!
I am convinced that 1 year later you would be much better and if it goes really bad for a long time, you might try psychological counselling anyway...
I wish you all the best!
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Thank you for the reply, Nice Boy!
I too, have heard of the equation for getting over a relationship....Yikes, 5 years is a long time! ;-) I dunno if it all holds true, but we shall see. Many people have told me that I am trying to rush things for myself and I want instant gratification for things to be "better". I suppose this is true...But it seems only natural that I would want to feel instantly better. Sadly, no can do.
I had a lapse a few days ago and went back to that "dark place" and I'm still feeling a bit of the effects today...trying to stay active and staying around people. That always seems to at least let me forget for a while.
Thanks again for posting....it means a lot!
-JC
Thank you for the reply, Nice Boy!
I too, have heard of the equation for getting over a relationship....Yikes, 5 years is a long time! ;-) I dunno if it all holds true, but we shall see. Many people have told me that I am trying to rush things for myself and I want instant gratification for things to be "better". I suppose this is true...But it seems only natural that I would want to feel instantly better. Sadly, no can do.
I had a lapse a few days ago and went back to that "dark place" and I'm still feeling a bit of the effects today...trying to stay active and staying around people. That always seems to at least let me forget for a while.
Thanks again for posting....it means a lot!
-JC
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Just posting an update...it helps to write this stuff out and put it out there. Thanks for letting me vent.
Have been depressed lately and can't seem to get out of the funk. Have been bursting into tears when I think about my partner and can't understand how he just doesn't love me anymore. I have had no contact from him (don't really expect to) but we did have a dog together (which I have now) and he doesn't even check to see how he is doing or anything. Seems strange to me, but again, I'm not him so I have no idea what he's thinking.
Today just kinda sucks....plus it's raining. <sigh>....
-JC
Just posting an update...it helps to write this stuff out and put it out there. Thanks for letting me vent.
Have been depressed lately and can't seem to get out of the funk. Have been bursting into tears when I think about my partner and can't understand how he just doesn't love me anymore. I have had no contact from him (don't really expect to) but we did have a dog together (which I have now) and he doesn't even check to see how he is doing or anything. Seems strange to me, but again, I'm not him so I have no idea what he's thinking.
Today just kinda sucks....plus it's raining. <sigh>....
-JC
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Your earlier posts said a lot: you are a caring person who treasured the relationship. It is hard when your world is turned upside down and the permanent that you envisioned becomes but a memory.
It is easy to say, "take one day at a time." It is much harder to live it. You gave your own prescription for getting through the dark days: stay around people. It is easy to retreat into a closet (no pun intended since I only came out of one three years ago!) and shut off the world. It is hard to put oneself out in front of the world for all to see.
But it sounds like there is lots to see with you and that guys are truly attracted to and by you. My only caution is with the gay dating web sites: my experience was that most viewed "relationships" as something akin to sex for more than two weeks but less than 4!
But keep putting one foot forward and let us know how you are doing!
Your earlier posts said a lot: you are a caring person who treasured the relationship. It is hard when your world is turned upside down and the permanent that you envisioned becomes but a memory.
It is easy to say, "take one day at a time." It is much harder to live it. You gave your own prescription for getting through the dark days: stay around people. It is easy to retreat into a closet (no pun intended since I only came out of one three years ago!) and shut off the world. It is hard to put oneself out in front of the world for all to see.
But it sounds like there is lots to see with you and that guys are truly attracted to and by you. My only caution is with the gay dating web sites: my experience was that most viewed "relationships" as something akin to sex for more than two weeks but less than 4!
But keep putting one foot forward and let us know how you are doing!
jackslowly
On the Prowl
Re: Just Out of a 10 Year Relationship-How To Move
Wow....this is strange to read, splitting up after 14 years and suddenly trying to find myself again.
The weird thing is figuring out exactly where you lost yourself...where you became....whatever you became.
I don't have any solutions, obviously. If I'm honest, I'd rather hear what helped you, because it might help me. What I'm focussing on is suddenly the ability to have sex....but that's just me And while its very, very nice, I'm not sure that its necessarily a cure-all.
Good luck with it. And PM me, maybe, if you feel like it.
Wow....this is strange to read, splitting up after 14 years and suddenly trying to find myself again.
The weird thing is figuring out exactly where you lost yourself...where you became....whatever you became.
I don't have any solutions, obviously. If I'm honest, I'd rather hear what helped you, because it might help me. What I'm focussing on is suddenly the ability to have sex....but that's just me
And while its very, very nice, I'm not sure that its necessarily a cure-all. Good luck with it. And PM me, maybe, if you feel like it.
