Just Told The Lad I Like That I Like Him...

[BiAndSingle]

Well yesterday i told this lad that i have huge crush on that i like him... It went incredibly well! I have been keeping it secret for like 6 months and i still cant believe i did it, he said he still wants to be friends and then hugged me
Onto the bad news, i told my mother today and well she came up with all the crap saying your still young they are just feelings and they will go away. Ha yeah right, i no i am bi but couldnt actually say it to her, i just said that i like the lad, im finding it easier to tell people now but i will only tell close friends and family for now.

The reason i am posting this is to ask a question, i like the lad, ive told him, and were still going to be friends, but i want more than friendship i want to be with him. i am asking you if its the right thing wanting this or should i just treasure my friendship with him?
Any comments greatly accepted.

Oh and i think he is Bi, just for certain reasons lol, but im not really trying to find out what his sexuality is at the moment, just wether i should stay his friend or try for more.

Thanks Guys!

 

[BiAndSingle]

hmmm, i suppose you are right dutchguy, he knows how i feel about him so i guess if he has feelings for me then he can tell me if he wants, totally up to him.

 

[backpacker]

As noted above, the ball is in his court. He knows you want more, but my guess is that he just wants to be friends. Unless he makes a clear cut move, I wouldn't push the issue or you may lose him as a friend.

 

[BiAndSingle]

I dont want to lose him as a friend so ill just try and hide the feelings i have, even if he knows about them lol.

One other thing whenever i used to be around him when he was at mine, i was incredibly nervous, more than butterflies in my stomach... But since i told him yesterday i am nervous even when we are in college having our classes, and no matter what i do those nerves will not actually go away, i had to leave my class today i was so nervous that i felt unwell

Tell me if i am been wierd feeling like this, but if anyone has any ideas how to stop that happening i would appreciate them

 

[looseliam]

I don't see why you have to hide your feelings. You've told him how you feel, I gather.

Right now keep the friendship. Find things to do just the two of you. Sit around and watch movies and such.

You'll be the best gauge as to whether you should proceed or not.

 

[Eagle653]

When you told him you had a huge crush on him, that really put the ball in his court (as was said above). That was the perfect opportunity for him to come out to you too, if he was anything other than straight and/or had romantic feelings for you also.

The fact that he didn't could mean any number of things (e.g., he felt the conversation was about you, not him; he wasn't bi or gay; he is bi or gay but doesn't want you to know it; isn't out to himself; is bi or gay, but not into you). It's hard to read.

Either way, pressing the crush more by suggesting anything other than a friendship at this point probably isn't smart. Give him a few days and see how he digests this and wants to respond long-term. It would have been nice if he'd given you a glipse into his own feelings (if only to say he's bi too, or he's straight (which means "flattered but not interested")). Leaving you to guess was not cool, but oh well.

Good luck with this. Just relax and be natural and let it unfold. It will, and probably sooner rather than later. Let us know what happens.

Congratulations, too, on having the guts to do this. I admire you talking with him about something so personal. It's terrific that you did that and got it off your chest. I only wish it had given you some closure, on way or another, instead of more questions!

Good luck!

 

[BiAndSingle]

Hes just been round at mine and we have just been chilling out watching white chicks lol. We were quite cosy just sitting there with me resting my head on his shoulder, it actually felt like we were a couple
And another surprise for me was that i was incredibly calm this time and there were no nerves what so ever.

Oh and thanks guys with the advice, ill keep you updated on what happens!

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Bi,

First mate welcome to JUB...and second Congrats on your strength and courage to tell this guy about yourself...and to break the ice with your mum too....its really admirable to see you want to live your life openly and honestly. Its something to be really proud of mate.

You just need to take your time here with your friend. You are right to value his friendship the way you do...his acceptance and approval means that if nothing else this guy has a big heart, a capacity to care and love. Those are qualities that real friends carry for each other...so tread carefully with any moves you make or else you jeopordize that wonderful potential lifelong friendship.

And thats the rub...you need to consider that gamble even if he does come out to you...is a relationship worth that gamble???

Still...give the guy some time. If you suspect he is bi, hes obviously just not ready to admit it or face it. It takes years for some, lifetimes for others... your trust in him will give him the strength and confidence to open up to you when he's ready. The openness and honesty you have shown will help him when he's ready. In the mean time dont push the boundaries too far unless he wants you to. Just support him, let him know you care...and honour the friendship that you guys have built.

Congrats again Bi...you've got an amazing friend here...and from the values you've shown here...you deserve nothing less!

 

[bimmrboy]

We were quite cosy just sitting there with me resting my head on his shoulder, it actually felt like we were a couple

That's really sweet. I need that...

 

[wentworth]

Well yesterday i told this lad that i have huge crush on that i like him... It went incredibly well! I have been keeping it secret for like 6 months and i still cant believe i did it, he said he still wants to be friends and then hugged me
Onto the bad news, i told my mother today and well she came up with all the crap saying your still young they are just feelings and they will go away. Ha yeah right, i no i am bi but couldnt actually say it to her, i just said that i like the lad, im finding it easier to tell people now but i will only tell close friends and family for now.

The reason i am posting this is to ask a question, i like the lad, ive told him, and were still going to be friends, but i want more than friendship i want to be with him. i am asking you if its the right thing wanting this or should i just treasure my friendship with him?
Any comments greatly accepted.

Oh and i think he is Bi, just for certain reasons lol, but im not really trying to find out what his sexuality is at the moment, just wether i should stay his friend or try for more.

Thanks Guys!

All he did was hug you?
I wouldn't push it.
I would stay friends and look elsewhere for sexual fulfillment.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Exactly. You've done your part, now you must wait to see if he ever reciprocates. I doubt you should put all of your eggs into one basket on this one. Find someone else to develop feelings for who can return them. As of now, it's up to him. Keep it friendly.

 

[BiAndSingle]

Exactly. You've done your part, now you must wait to see if he ever reciprocates. I doubt you should put all of your eggs into one basket on this one. Find someone else to develop feelings for who can return them. As of now, it's up to him. Keep it friendly.

Oh dont worry i am keeping it friendly... But trying to develop feelings for someone else is difficult, i have tried developing feelings with other guys that i know are gay or bi but i just cant, my feelings for the guy i like just end up getting stronger putting me in a more difficult place as i dont want to ruin our friendship.

Today was a little odd though, at times he would keep a distance between us then later he would be quite close with me, of course i have no idea whats going on in his mind, only he does...

As always i will keep you guys updated as each day goes by lol and thanks for the advice

 

[looseliam]

I think Frank Sinatra said it best:

"Nice and easy does it, every time."

 

[skaterboi]

Good that youve been able to open up to your mate, I know this guy and have fallen for him and can't stop thinking about him. Would love to tell him but im closeted and that brings in all the "well what if he tells someone" type questions.
You really seem to have a good solid friend who is accepting of you as you are which is a really positive thing in life. I wish I had close enough friends that I could come out and not be worried about it.

Today was a little odd though, at times he would keep a distance between us then later he would be quite close with me, of course i have no idea whats going on in his mind, only he does...

Hes maybe just trying to come to terms with things between you, its bound to feel a little weird for him that you were friends and now that you like him and want to be more than that.
If hes straight he might be wanting to be friends with you but not lead you on or give you the wrong impression. So hes not sure how to play things.
Or hes gay/bi and now having to deal with his own issues and feelings over this, it may be that hes tried to put his sexuality in th back of his head and this thing with you has brought it to the front and now hes struggling with it.
Regardless of his sexuality, just be his friend like you always have been. Try not to act differently.
Keep us updated on how things are going

 

[breatheH20]

Congrats on telling your friend.. I know how hard that can be, esp. if they don't respond well to what you tell them..

 

[BiAndSingle]

Hey guys, sorry i havent been keeping you updated... unfortunately there nothing really to update on as i havent been well for a couple of days

I get to see "him" again on monday, so i will let you know if anything happens then. Yet again thanks for all the support you have been giving me, cant say i have been getting much from my mum, i think shes still in shock lol.

 

[phoenix72]

that's great that your able to have that with your friend. you don't see that all the time...good luck in the future on this

 

[BiAndSingle]

Hey guys just thought i would give you a quick update on things... Well everything is going great between us, i feel we are alot closer than we have been before i told him how i feel about him, he hasnt been too distant with me over the last two days which is great. He's even staying over at mine this Friday, we are just going to watch a few movies and have some beers.

 

[BiAndSingle]

Ok, so friday night has been and gone and i still havent told you how it went... It was a great night, watched a couple of films and had a few beers. Nothing much else happened that night except for every now and then i would just cuddle him. It was the following morning when more happened, we both woke up and i decided to roll off my bed down to where he was sleeping, and for about 20 minutes i lay there hugging him, nibbling his ear and kissing his neck and he was absolutely fine with me doing this! He didnt really do much but just lay there while i was doing this...
Now this has really confused me, because if he was really straight wouldnt he have, pushed me away?
Oh and to add to this he was going to meet another friend of his, its a girl by the way the saturday afternoon, he is also apparently shagging her... So anyway i text him the saturday night seeing if he was ok, and he replied with i need to go out with a girl who is my age, (the girl is about a year younger than him) obviously there was more in the text than that but i thought i would mention that part.

So what do you guys think about this??

 

[mattyboi_aus]

Hey Bi!

First off, just like everyone else has said, I think it's awesome that you have told him. I admire you're guts mate!!

About your latest message, the Friday night thing, you've made your feelings clear, you've told him, you've cuddled up...but somehow I don't quite think it has clicked for him. Maybe he's thinking something along the lines of "this is nice, but I still want to try for a girl"

I personally think you should continue along the lines that you are going already, and if you are ever in the lying down cuddle type position you describe...go a little further. Kiss him!!

He has allowed things to go this far, and he hasn't expressly said "there is a problem with this, I want it to stop." I don't think he knows quite what he wants.