just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[cgymike]

Sadly yes Michael.

An older intimate (as he chose) cousin I

stayed with one early puberty stricken summer.

Fab looks, Build to include Hung, Brilliant.

If it wasn't in the privacy of HIS barn loft
and his schedule, it just didn't happen.

Other than those 'instructional times' and his physical attributes

he could easily have been the Sheldon Character on

The Big Bang Theory

Pedantic starts the supercilious guys identification.

At least he had looks...and didn't wear smelly scent and poke a finger on you to get your attention AND have a whiny voice ...UGH UGH UGH

Oh he's over ...sooo over...another manhunt loser.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'll join in the ref love. If he can keep his head on straight, make the plan, and keep his eye on the prize, he may really go very far.

Now my rant. Less a rant, really, and me just thinking out loud.

I defriended someone on Facebook again today. No big deal - I never met her, she never met me, she has 4000 friends (seriously) so she won't miss me. She sent me a friend request for some reason a few years ago, and I accepted. I rarely say no, figuring if the person turns out to be annoying, I'll drop them. Which is I guess what happened here.

She's a very attractive woman. I say that from an objective point of view. She works at a drive-thru coffee shop where the servers are all women and all scantily clad. I think she does some modeling as well, although I never found out if she was selling anything but herself in those photos. It looked like the photo shoots were freebies done by photographers (because hey, hot female model) rather than for any specific purpose. Her "candid shots" were of her wearing another hot outfit, or her fake-kissing another scantily clad colleague. Her few text-based posts were usually simple jokes, of the "good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere lol" type.

Mind you, none of this is wrong, or makes her a bad person. In fact, I enjoyed keeping her as a friend for awhile, because she afforded me a glimpse into the world of being (for lack of a better term) "simply attractive". I liked watching her pile up the likes whenever she posted anything at all. She could butt-post "fghjhgf" and get twenty likes in ten minutes. She even seemed to appreciate my occasional dry humorous responses to her posts or photos, partially because I never made her the butt (ahem) of the joke, and partially because it was attention and therefore good, and perhaps partially because she even made the old gay guy say something, and that's gotta be worth something, right?

But I finally defriended her today. No big thing set me off. She posted a picture with a friend (or co-worker) with "I love this sexy bitch" as the caption, and the likes came rolling in. But finally, it just seemed...sad. I mean, I'm not that much different from her. Nobody on Facebook is. Hell, even on JUB, my posts can usually be broken down into one of a very few categories - "look how smart I am", "aren't I funny"?", "look at the gargoyle pretending to be helpful" and "who wants to get down and dirty?" (In case you're wondering, roughly 10,000 of each.) But it was less the "look at me" of her posts, and more the fact that that's all there was. I'd like to think that even at my whoriest, I offer something above and beyond "look at me" (clothed or otherwise). I'd like to think I'm entertaining or thought-provoking or titillating or helpful on some level. But this woman's posts had nothing more to offer me anymore. The thrill was gone from watching the "likes" build up. And as a gay man, all I could do was casually observe that she posted yet another photo of herself looking attractive. And they all started looking like "say you like me". And I found that depressing. So I defriended her.

Who wants to get down and dirty?

Lex

 

[xbuzzerx]

^I had a weird experience on Facebook.

A gay cousin sent me a Friendship request. Since I hadn't seen him in over 30 years, and wanted to connect with him, I accepted. I began commenting on his posts, and asking him questions--questions to which he never responded, much less acknowledged.

Question: if someone doesn't want to correspond with you, why would he send you a friend request? <scratches head>

I ended up defriending him.

Yup. A lot of people treat it like a digital yearbook or rolodex or something. I remove those people as well.

 

[refujiunderground]

Ugh, probably going to drop my winter class. Feels lazy, but w/e. I still haven't fully recovered from this stupid bug. Waking up feeling like a lobster was dancing on my throat was the last sign I needed.

man, don't even know why colleges even do that to begin with? that's worse than doing classes in the summertime. you literally have to put your life on hold in order to do that.

and i have to vent about my gut. i don't know what i ate BUT i have been going through a fucking shitstorm today. i had dinner like 8 o clock last night and didn't eat anything until noon today. i had collard greens, 5 biscuits, ackee and saltfish and plantains for dinner. that's a huge gap. i woke up with a headache and i was doing okay. i had some cheerios, 2 eggs and 2 tuna fish/saldines/peanut butter sammiches today. i took a plain old shit at 3 o clock. i ate like the 2 eggs i mentioned and the 2 tuna fish sandwiches inbetwee n that gap. somehow, i dunno what happened with my stomach but something upset it where i had a severe case of mudbutt. i've ran to the bathroom like 3 times already spilling my guts out. i want to jerk off but i'm afraid that my stomach at any minute is going to bother me again where i have to run to the toilet again. i HOPE i'm not allergic to cheerios but if i was, it doesn't surprise me. it also wouldn't surprise me if i had my mom's wheat allergy. she's allergic to a bunch of food. it would get me really heated if i was both lactose intolerant and allergic to wheat. there's NOTHING fun about drinking some regular milk, having horrible stomach pains for the whole day and being in the bathroom for about an hour or so on the toilet shitting so hard.

 

[Lefty]

Fuji

You have just been cross rated to

Major Garbage Gut.

You deserve the squirties if you assaulted your stomach like that.

Even My Cast Iron Habanero Enfused Gut wouldn't go there.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I've done one of those classes before and it's not so bad. I just can't deal with it right now. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking given how much I hate winter and how poorly I function this time of year. I'm actually probably going to take it in the summer instead, actually, but that's fine by me because I do great with those.

Being sick was the wake-up call I needed to drop that damn class. Too bad it's a living hell right now.

You've been struggling with that afor awhile Razor, I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[refujiunderground]

Fuji

You have just been cross rated to

Major Garbage Gut.

You deserve the squirties if you assaulted your stomach like that.

Even My Cast Iron Habanero Enfused Gut wouldn't go there.

but it tastes too good to resist.

I've done one of those classes before and it's not so bad. I just can't deal with it right now. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking given how much I hate winter and how poorly I function this time of year. I'm actually probably going to take it in the summer instead, actually, but that's fine by me because I do great with those.

Being sick was the wake-up call I needed to drop that damn class. Too bad it's a living hell right now.

what class are you doing anyway? is it one of those tough classes or do you have one of those teachers that make the subject extra difficult than what it really is? breh, i feel your pain. when is your add and drop period?

but anyways, my brother is pissing me off. him and his fucking attitude. dude is ready to say some fucking slick remarks to me in the kitchen. he's really been pushing my buttons as of late and i fucking hate that fucking look he gives me. i love my brother BUT he's going to make me smack the SHIT out of him if he keeps it up and i'm going to really fucking smack him too across the face where i'll knock off his fucking glasses. he needs to watch who the fuck he's talking to. for real, just thinking about the words he said to me really makes me want to run down to the kitchen and smack the fuck out of him in front of my mother. he needs to show me some respect instead of acting like a fucking bitch.

and i don't know what it is. i went to the gym and i was getting very increasing annoyed at the guys in there. it must have been my paranoia or my inferior complex that really did it BUT i was just waiting and thinking about what i would do if any of the guys in the gym stepped up to me or annoyed me. i would just snap and grab the dumbbell, barbell and fucking beat their ass with it repeatedly til there's some brain damage or whatever. somebody would get hurt really bad. i know that i give people the wrong look, the mad face where they think i'm crazy or that i'm mad with the world. not going to lie, sometimes i am really angry and it appears on my face BUT damnit, i just get really heated sometimes where i'm going to snap while i'm in the gym where i want to FUCK somebody up. i also hate it when i see some of these guys trying to act all intimidating like they're going to whip somebody's ass or like they're king kong or whatever. it's annoying. i take that as if they're challenging somebody or whatever and i just feel like stepping to them or fighting them or whatever with my skinny, scrawny, midget self. i've been really angry today where i'm ready to go off on anybody.

i think it's because i didn't get any sleep last night or because i had a really bad nightmare which involved me coming up to some woman that i never seen before in my life where i went back to my old high school although the building wasn't the same exact one. there was some bodybuilding show and some art gallery thing going or whatever. i went up to this teacher, she was dressed in black with tears coming through her eyes. i was asking her to give me some recommendation for something and there were other women in there. i went to the basement where i saw some old woman and another woman and they just started acting all scared of me for some reason. they threw trash bags full of garbage at me and tried to hurt me. i didn't do SHIT to those women BUT yet they were treating me like i was a criminal or a rapist. i was like so mad like WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE THAT FOR? THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU? i should have choked that old woman for hitting me like that though. not only did she hit me but she embarrassed the hell out of me too calling the cops on me and i didn't even do SQUAT to her. i was leaving the damn building. i'm not going to call her the b-word though even though that's what i really want to say about her though. but keep in mind, it was all a dream BUT i have to say that sometimes, i have some dreams that scare me, make me cry, make me really happy BUT this was one of those that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off because it was something that i HAD absolutely nothing to do with.

 

[G-Lexington]

You still need a BJ, Lex?

Why, I'd blow you in a New York minute.

Wow, for some reason, I'm feeling really really frisky today.

Make it a New York twenty minutes. I like to savor them.

Lex

 

[refujiunderground]

i'm really irritated right now. angry and very upset. man, on this other site that i go to, i feel like giving this annoying dickhead poster a buck 50 with one of my father's boxcutters lying around here. i would love to do nothing but shove that cunt on the ground, put my knee over that guy's neck and slice away off on his face on some prison shit. i want to make that dude feel just as bad as how i feel. i want to give that loser a facelift.

i don't know why i woke up irritated, depressed and angry. i think i need to masturbate all day to calm my nerves down. i would study and do whatever the fuck i HAVE to do BUT damnit, i don't feel like it right now. the bottom of my foot is really bothering me right now. i tried to sleep last night but i had trouble sleeping too. kept tossing and turning. had some creepy dream involving some woman on death row that killed like 5 children in connecticut. they were about to give her an execution date and they wanted her to pick her method of execution. she had the choice between electrocution or lethal injection. they were giving a run down of both of the execution protocols between the methods. there's more to that dream but my foot is bothering me so i'm not going to sit here any longer. i need to walk around.

and man, i kind of feel better saying that about that dumbfuck on the other site. i REALLY want to make that bitch feel like how i feel right now. he'll never talk shit about me again and neither will all those other godawful cunts on that site that just need to die already.

why is IT that i feel emotionally unstable right now? i slept last night. tried not to listen to any music and i still feel like shit except not as tired as i usually am. for that matter, i still feel like going over to that mental practitioner that i went over to last year that told me that "i'm faking my feelings and acting depressed on purpose for attention" and punching him in the mouth so he knows how "fake" my feelings are. FUCK THAT CUNT TOO!

 

[refujiunderground]

with that said, i'm going to go over some of the posts that i have, as well as my other blog, and other things that i've said in the past documenting my feelings and thoughts, copy and paste them and print them out so i can give to the psychiatrist that i will meet up with soon so they see this shit. i will be incredibly annoyed if he or she tells me some bullshit. then i'll really go off on somebody.

thanks to frank frank for the idea. he told me to do that awhile back so that the shrink has some idea of where my head is at.

 

[frankfrank]

Yes!!! May be good, too, to show a variety of dates, i.e. not just print out stuff from a six-day period back in September or something. A variety of dates would show that there are persistent issues.

I'm one of those who feel that you can eventually become quite successful with something, accomplishing things you truly aspire to, but taking certain other steps first is necessary to scale the multiple walls first.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Earlier this week, I went out to the gay bar with some friends. Enjoyed drinks, talking shit with the bartender, listening to music, etc. I ended up playing a few rounds of pool with this guy, flirting my ass off. As the night goes on I'm getting drunker (and obviously more charming) .

We're kicking ass at pool and we're getting along great. There is friendly touching, which at this point in my drunkenness, calls for me to sport a semi--and I decide to ask him about his relationship situation. Oh, he's straight.

And my mind can't seem to grasp this fact, so for about five minutes I'm constantly asking him, "Wait, you're straight?", "Are you sure you're straight?", etc. Felt like a fool. Finished the last game, I'm heading out and he says he'll see me around and we should play pool again.

Most frustrated I've felt in a while--which is why I usually never go beyond a buzz when I'm out at the bar--I need the clarity to keep the conversation coherent and pick up on signals that may, or may not, be there.

You know I have to say this is something that always amazes me. I know times are changing and it's 2013, but IS there a big straight male crowd at gay bars?

 

[xbuzzerx]

There is at the one I can go to.

Actual straight guys who just hang out there or.... 'straight guys' who hang out there?

 

[xbuzzerx]

There isn't much of a straight male crowd at the bars I go to, which isn't to say they don't show up every once in a while, either with women or as a larger group of people. But the thing about this guy was that he was there alone and I was all but ready to take him home by the time I realized he was straight. Which may say more about my state of mind at the time, rather than him. But it was a bit frustrating nonetheless.

Tbh it's kinda hard to put the blame on you in the story you told. Anyone at a gay bar who was playing pool with a tipsy guy flirting with him and didn't realize he was sorta leading people on would be kinda dense.

 

[xbuzzerx]

They're actual straight guys.

The one I go to is interesting, though. It's in a kind of blue-collar suburbia setting, so it attracts a lot of random straight people who see it as a sufficient regular watering hole. But then you go there on bear night and it's teeming with burly, sexually-charged gay men.

What's the reasoning they hang out there? I've heard (not seen) the rumor that some straight people feel gay clubs are better-- better atmosphere, better music etc. But I have to imagine straight guys intentionally hanging out at gay clubs solo enjoy the attention as well.

 

[refujiunderground]

Ugh, I hate how overly analytical I am sometimes. I need to stop over-thinking shit and just make a decision.

indecisiveness, huh? at least, you're thinking about it deeply from a "what if" perspective so it can't be that bad. not to be nosy but is this over dropping your class?

 

[xbuzzerx]

No man, I already dropped that class, and I'm damn glad I did. It wasn't that it was overly hard, but I just realized I fucking hate winter classes. I just don't function well this time of year.

Instead I'm hemming and hawing over whether to go on a vacation or not, and if so when to take it.

Where are you going?

 

[xbuzzerx]

Sometimes--I really miss the 90s.

I miss them pretty much everyday.

Netflix is trolling me hard. I don't buy many movies at all but I have been buying some. Every one of them I have got in recent months appears on Netflix within the next 2 weeks. Did it was Drive, did it with American Horror Story season 1 and now I got V/H/S for Christmas and it is on there.

Netflix trolls me hard constantly. It did the same thing to me right after I bought the season sets of Walking Dead.

 

[xbuzzerx]

yeah. outside of going to school--it was a pretty good decade for me. lots of great memories.

The music!

 

[frankfrank]

I did have a good time at the bar. That is the positive way of looking at it. Then again, I don't go out to the gay bar to make straight friends usually.

Sometimes nice surprises can happen in the most unexpected places. There's nothing wrong having a platonic and straight-type friendship with a cool guy. I have these (including some with - gasp! - women) and I wouldn't give them up for anything. Pick up that ball and run with it.

I suspect that theory is generally true, but at this particular bar, I don't think it has anything to do with it. I think it's because it's one of the very few (maybe the only?) bars in this town, the drinks are strong, the food is great, and the atmosphere is pretty good.

From now on, whenever I make the RARE trip to Toronto, I definitely intend to stop off at Woody's on Church Street. That place is NOTHING LESS than, perhaps, the most famous gay bar in that entire NATION. And I'll probably be there for only about half an hour.
Why? They have some of the best soup that I have ever had anywhere!