just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[xbuzzerx]

Rant:

Why do people with 25 or 50 items go in the Express Lane, where it very clearly reads "15 items or less"? Are you an English major who can't add, or a Math major who can't read, Dumbo?

You know what's weird? You'd think the worst offenders would be the youngest, who don't yet know the "rules". But NO! The worst offenders by far are those my age or older, who really ought to know better!

Those people are just selfish. For sure. I was absolutely flabbergasted one time when I was literally holding two items in line between a woman with a relatively full cart, and didn't even so much as offer to let me go first, in the express lane.

 

[refujiunderground]

Lol. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I'm a total bitch with people I don't like. For the record, I try to go out of my way NOT to be shallow. I donate blood regularly, and was among the first 10 to sign up for a liver transplant when a friend needed one to correct a birth defect. I wasn't a match, but it's the thought that counts, right?

yeah, that's really thoughtful of you to do that for your friend. most people wouldn't even bother to do that even for a family member. are you registered to be an organ donor? i actually thought about doing it myself but i dunno, man. don't think it would be cool for the doctors to not even try to save my life if i got into a car wreck where i was seriously injured in order to harvest my organs. that 1,000 ways to die episode where they had this guy that got into a car accident from drunk driving and he was an organ donor so pretty much they didn't save his life. dude was drunk to the point where he couldn't talk with the doctors letting them know he was alive so when they started cutting his organs out, dude felt single thing until they took his heart out his chest. what a horrible way to go.

 

[Lefty]

with that said, i couldn't live like that. i'm more of a personality type of person where i feed off of other people's personalities so i'll be the one looking all ugly and bummy as shit because i don't put much thought or care into how i look. i basically am testing folks to see what they're about. sure, i'll get all giggly if i see an attractive guy but i'm paying attention to his personality and whether he's a cool guy or an asshole.

Boys, Fuji and Sticky. Cleanliness and your attire in the best repair you can afford is not looking ugly and bummy. It is showing respect for yourself. I trust that the above was misinterpreted by me.

Oh, and Sticky, loved the analogy...
Lucky for you he was toooo stupid to get what you said or you might have gotten hurt.

 

[StickShift]

^ I am not a registered organ donor for that very reason. I want that to be a conscious decision.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Are there any actual studies or stats that back up the urban legend out there that doctors don't try to save you if you're an organ donor? I've had people react in shock or as if I have a death wish or something when they see I'm an organ donor on my driver's license, and I always just regarded people telling those stories as likely out of proportion or as scary myth.

 

[Nishin]

I think we ought to have an "insider's" thread, in the spirit of your post, StickShift.

Here's mine.

I was a waiter for many years. What could a customer do for best service?

Probably the number one thing I could suggest is "order something the way it is, and, don't order something that's not on the menu."

I did it once because I really wanted to try that new burger at McD but can't digest bell pepper so asked it removed (also ensuring I would be getting a freshly assembled burger instead of one that had been waiting on the rack for 20 minutes)

But yeah generally I hate when people do that, I just don't understand why people won't satisfy with what's available... if they aren't why come there at all?

 

[Lefty]

Time to get a grip and come down off that cloud Picture Boy to the Stars.

If you can make in two-three hours what take you two-three weeks to earn.

Pander your Ass and do it now.

The serious bucks they pay you for their little 'soirees' will buy you much real

time doing your OWN creative stuff. Consider it as a money in the bank type

investment. A few hours invested gets you fed, clothed, roofed AND freedom

to go Arty Farty for a while.

Ugly, inferior. awful and sorry you were born? Why? You got friends? You got

working Body and Brain Parts? You don't got no terminal issues that make you

hurt and cry? If it's just a pissy mood. okay we all get those. More than that,

talk with a close friend ... or p/m JohannBessler, he really cares and has a good

set of ears to listen with, almost as good as his heart.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Sooner or later, the Sous Chef finds out about this, and gets enraged. "Well, why did you let him order something that wasn't on the fuckin' menu in the first fuckin' place?"

You would think a smart restaurant would put in the fine print at the bottom of the menu, "NO SUBSTITUTIONS".

 

[refujiunderground]

Boys, Fuji and Sticky. Cleanliness and your attire in the best repair you can afford is not looking ugly and bummy. It is showing respect for yourself. I trust that the above was misinterpreted by me.

Oh, and Sticky, loved the analogy...
Lucky for you he was toooo stupid to get what you said or you might have gotten hurt.

i agree with what you're saying. you are right. cleanliness and attire shows how much you respect yourself but even though this sounds crazy, it takes a lot of work though. most times, i feel that i should be able to wear and dress in whatever i want to dress in or look however i want to look without being judged by anybody else.

 

[Lefty]

Dude, you are not selling out to the Corporate suits.

You are taking large sums of money from them to do a little something

that you enjoy under other circumstances. That is using them for your

purposes. It's not like you joined their 'Corporate Rank and File'.

Take it before some corporate minded does. Dude, all I'm saying is that

the few hours doesn't affect your creds. It's like putting gas in your

tank. You want to go somewhere...you need gas.

I keep telling everybody, Bottom Line...

It Is What It Is...that's all...It Is What It Is

 

[StickShift]

^He looked damn good when I met him.

I'm all about hygeine and being presentable (i.e. clean, etc.). But some folks tend to lump dressing up for "the man" in with all of that garbage. I ain't about that life. Putting care into being clean and approachable is one thing. But caring for being fashionable is about "looking hot" or "being shallow" IMO.

This. I have the same view. I put some time into my looks but I don't go over the top. I try my best to be hygienic and haven't heard a complaint, spend no more than 10 minutes on my hair (30 on a bad day. Most days I spend a minute on my hair, if not less.) and about a minute picking out comfortable clothes. I couldn't care less about fashion or looking hot. Jeans, a T-shirt and my trusty black worn steel toe boots and I'm golden.

 

[pat grimshaw]

10 minutes on hair!

I use a comb. Do you use product?

 

[StickShift]

10 minutes on hair!

I use a comb. Do you use product?

On days I care about my hair, I gel it up. I say 30 minutes most because I used to have long hair that took a bit of brushing. Once it was straight with no knots though, it went up in a pony tail. I miss my long hair.

 

[pat grimshaw]

I like long hair but I can't stand knots because my partner can't run his fingers through it. Knots means it needs to be cut.

 

[bankside]

^I think the Americans started that, Nishin.

In France--as I understand it--a chef's creation is often the result of many years of hard work. When a customer tries to change that food item, he's implying that the chef doesn't know what he's doing, and so the chef gets profoundly insulted. I've heard that if you insult a French chef, they'll sometimes throw you out of their restaurant.

Somehow' on this side of the pond, we got it backwards. We got this idea that "the customer is always right", so many customers will pick apart an item on the menu, substituting this for that, etc. The chefs over here get insulted, too, but that's not where the problem lies.

The trouble that the customer doesn't get a consistent product. Let's provide an example.

The customer wants a ham-and-egg sandwich. It's not on the menu, but the waiter takes the order anyway. Cook #1 cooks it the way he thinks it ought to be cooked. The customer loves it.

The customer comes back a second day, and gets a different cook. Invariably, the second cook's idea of how to make a ham-and-egg sandwich will differ from the first cook, so the customer will get a different product.

This causes the customer to complain. "Why didn't I get it like I got it yesterday?" So the manager has to refund his money, or throw away the first sandwich, and cook him another.

Sooner or later, the Sous Chef finds out about this, and gets enraged. "Well, why did you let him order something that wasn't on the fuckin' menu in the first fuckin' place?"

I have watched this scenario repeat itself possibly a thousand times.

Moral: order what's on the menu, and take it the way it comes.
Exception: if you have a food allergy, we will work with you. Tell us if you're allergic to onions, for example; often, we can leave it out without a problem.

A customer's gustation is also often the result of many years of hard work. There is no point in wasting the chef's time in trying to convince me to enjoy something festooned with cilantro; it just isn't in the cards. If the chef insisted, she would be profoundly insulting me: do I not know my own tastebuds?

I do not believe the customer is always right, but I do believe in a happy medium. Ideally, if I see the otherwise perfect dish on the menu, I would be able to say "And could the Chef not add cilantro please."

And the answer will either be "Yes, of course," or "I'm sorry but the sauce was already prepared this morning and it is already infested with cilantro," in which case I will choose something else without any fuss.

 

[refujiunderground]

i am already stressed out as it is dealing with myself and the fact that i'm way behind with what i'm doing so just imagine when you have to deal with somebody else that tries to make you FUCKING feel worse putting more pressure on you and etc. what pisses me off is how my mom is coming at me with an attitude and then telling me that i'm coming @ her with an attitude when i'm only responding to her the way she's talking to me. like damn, if you're swinging @ me, what the fuck do you think i'm going to do? be all friendly to you, tolerate your aggressiveness and hostility when i'm feeling like shit already. eventually, it just builds up where i get angry and that just makes me hateful and not wanting to be bothered doing anything. man, i'm trying my hardest to stay awake because usually i just get anxious to the point where i just lay in bed and sleep it off where i end up sleeping the day away. i fucking hate when i feel anxious and i even hate it more when the people around me make me feel fucking worse not realizing that shit and they could care less until i get angry with them because i feel like they're fucking attacking me or coming at me the wrong way. then they have the nerve to ask why am i angry or chose not to be bothered dealing with shit as if i didn't explain it to them.

 

[refujiunderground]

But she's your mom, tho. Everybody knows that's not allowed. lol

but she's very passive aggressive. she pretty much is right with what she says but she has a lot of pent up anger that she has dealing with other people that she takes out on me. she's already annoyed with me for not doing what i'm supposed to do so she unleashes that as well as other things she's mad about that i have absolutely nothing to do with. it irks me how she tries to incorporate me into something that my father or my brother does whenever she's voicing her feelings about things they do to piss her off when she can't confront them on it because they're not around. she talks about "you guys", "you people do this" as if i'm the one that's responsible for what they do.

she doesn't address them either. all she does is just sit down, talk with them and act like everything's cool until they come @ her the wrong way BUT yet when i'm just chilling and all, she's coming @ me either with all her problems like i'm a therapist or like she's pissed off with me. it just makes me want to back away from her especially before i was on meds. i love my mom, don't get me wrong but sometimes, she's too much to deal with because she brings all of her issues towards me and i can't help her on that. she just makes me feel more stressed out than i already am with myself. she's my best friend and i always have her back even when she feels that i don't. i just wish she would stand up for herself because she seems to be fine with having to deal with shitty people such as my father who's all about the business of looking out for himself. my relationship with my father is pretty much nonexistent. he's pretty damn narcissistic where it's almost like dealing with a child where you have to pamper and baby them around and at the same time, he wants to be a damn bully. pretty much i try my hardest to avoid him because he irks the shit out of me. still convinced dude is either a sociopath, narcissist or both because dude seems to treat the people around him like objects that he can pick up and use without giving a fuck about how they feel as long as it suits his interest. i don't want to end up like my mom where i'm stuck in a bad situation and i don't want to end up like my father who's using and abusing people, pretending like he cares, with no sense of care. it's just a volatile atmosphere. just happy that i'm not that angry or aggressive where i take it out through violence because i would have been locked up by now. would have punched my father in the face a long time ago especially back in high school. surprised that i didn't hit him especially with the way he was acting around that time. i had every right to punch him in the face when he tried to grab me up on some bullshit.

 

[refujiunderground]

grr. fucking plumber was supposed to get here an hour and a half ago to start getting to work.

I'm dying to beat off, but I don't want to start now only to have the plumber show up when I'm in the middle (thus forcing me to stop and contend with blue balls for the rest of the afternoon)... but if I'd known at 3 that he wasn't actually going to get here until +4:30, I'd have done it then. ><

i feel your pain, bro. there's nothing worse than wanting to beat off but having to reschedule it because there's someone coming over. did he show up yet?

 

[refujiunderground]

Hang in there Refuji. It seems like your mom is just venting and lashing out at you because, like you said, she doesn't stand up for herself in other aspects of her life due to her own insecurities. I can only imagine the amount of pent up negativity she has to cope with. It's kind of fucked up but perhaps she is coming to you because she feels like since your love is unconditional and you guys are best friends, she is safe to act out in your presence because you'll forgive her and understand. But it's hard not to take it personally though, I get what you mean.

Maybe you can encourage her to have regular discussions with you about whatever upsets her instead of bottling it all up and then lashing out occasionally. This way you can give her positive rather than negative feedback in the form of a shouting match. It's definitely not a healthy approach she's taking right now. Does she have any female friends or relatives she can open up to? Sometimes, women need other women to talk about emotional stuff with in excruciating detail (lol)...like 'girl talks' that last for hours. Those are cathartic. If you can try to do that with her or find someone who will, maybe it will help...

she has friends, her sisters, other relatives where she could talk to and she was going to a therapist to vent about her problems. she pretty much has a lot of issues that she's dealing with but she's tried to handle them on her own even though her way hasn't worked out well. it's only ended up making her life worse than it is such as her trying to ride things out with my father and their marriage. she pretty much put herself in a situation that she can't get out of and it sucks. wish that i could help her out but obviously, things aren't going the way they're supposed to go. i feel that i let her down because with me not holding up on my end, i'm holding her back although i do think it's unfair that she was trying to push the responsibility of the issues in her life on me when i was born into it.

now i feel that i myself trying to save my ass which i'm struggling with and at the same time, trying to help my mother the best way i can because i'm not able to do so financially which is what the big issue is right now. she basically wants me to help her with her problems BUT i can't because she has to deal with them on her own. sometimes, i feel that she's pushing that shit onto me though and i'm not going to lie, i feel a bit uneasy at going out on my own and leaving my mother alone on her own especially with my father around. that man is not to be trusted. i fear that when my brother and me leave her on her own and she's still with him that he WILL hurt her. there's been moments where he's been really close to swinging on her or getting violent with her. i fear that if he does do it, he's more than likely going to make sure that she doesn't live to tell about it. he makes me uneasy. she's getting old, her health is deteriorating. same thing with my father. deal with him is another added weight especially considering that he basically leans on people, expects them to take care of him while at the same time he uses them. when i dip on my own, i plan on keeping close contact with my mom but limiting my connect with my father because i'm not trying to have him do the same shit he done to my mom to me. not trying to have him live with me either since his ass probably is going to try to do the whole "let me live with you, son so you can take care of me and i can live off you while i do whatever." it's hard dealing with him as it is.

 

[oakpope]

Take care, Johann, that labels, while reassuring, can be very misleading sometimes.

Human nature can't be put into pretty little boxes, however meticulously crafted.