just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[Telstra]

I am so fucking black with anger and frustration today.

I have staff who are making bad errors and not taking responsibility for them.

I've got a client from hell.

My one cat has a cancerous tumour and the other one is going blind.

I have a bad cold.

I have to go to two unplanned meetings tomorrow.

I want to throw myself face down on the driveway.

there.

should I feel better?

mmm i think you should retire and stop the work that you don't like.
Therefore no stress ....

 

[rareboy]

^ Nah.

Just give me that cat's machine gun.

I forgot to add. My arthritis has attacked my jaw. Imagine the limitations.

 

[quasar]

I'm in the middle of another bout of depression (which is being medicated, and I'm fine with daily living) but I have a bitch of a cold which has also raised my blood sugar levels. Already this week...

1. My nan was getting small shocks from plugs and switches in her flat. I told her it was static from her carpet, not an electrical fault. She got the managers in, who got an electrical company in who said it's static buildup from her carpet!
2. My nan's phone wasn't working. I looked at it, and a contact inside isn't connecting. Said it wasn't a problem with the line, but the phone and I'd get a new one. Plugged the spare phone in, working fine. Uncle goes round and gets the phone company to check the line, they say the line is okay, so uncle says I don't need to get nan a new phone. Uncle plugs the old one back in, and it isn't working. Buys a new phone.
3. Mum orders some new bedroom furniture. I tell her it's too much and she'll feel claustrophobic in the room and it'll partly block the loft access. Build furniture up and she now feels claustrophobic and we can't get the large suitcase down from the loft.

Why the fuck do I bother giving advice, or try to sort problems out when no fucker pays attention! I'm not saying I'm right all the time, but why bother asking for help or an opinion if you're going to disregard it completely! And it didn't help that I got soaked in the rain when I walked down to my nan's flat!!!

 

[Lefty]

Re your arthur-itis...
Your roomie is dancing off to CVS for more lube and losing his ear plugs on the way?

On a more serious note, I hate the cancer word...how do you know when quality of life
should supersede quantity...tough decision.
Hope your friend with the macular issues is a house cat. It's amazing how well they can
get by with the other senses.

As to the staff issue, maybe remind the dumb fucks that taking responsibility for my fail'
is a lot less painful then being caught in denial. As to asshole clients from hell, you just
have to bite the bullet and remember, the fees you charge quell a lot of flames...if that
doesn't help, Raise their fucking rates.

 

[Lefty]

Queasy - sar.

Find something serious to be depressed about.
Like who the U.S.A. has to choose from for president.
Even drugs don't quell that one.

Tell Uncle to "enjoy the fucking phone you just bought..unless you are giving Nan a present"

Any of mums furniture you might want to put in your place and give her a bit of room?

Get a spray bottle of Static Cling stuff (Fabreeze smells fresh) spray the old girls carpets
lightly and do so once a week during the low humidity or high furnace use times. Works to
cancel out the static electricity (unless she enjoys the cheap thrills) and makes a stuffy
flat feel refreshed.


[or you can just smack Lefty about the head and shoulders until
he bleeds making you feel tons better and getting exercise too.]

 

[star-warrior]

Fricking cough...

Fricking fricking fricking cough! and sore fricking throat...

I need sleep, not a fricking cough and bruised windpipe

How I'm feeling right now

 

[DigitalFudge]

I know ain't not a single damn one of you finna roll up in here and complain about me.

 

[Aymotin]

Life is tought, this kid just learned it the hard way

 

[refujiunderground]

man.... I HATE HAVING ANXIETY. it fucking kills me. I ALSO HATE FEELING NERVOUS. I ALSO HATE BEING SHY TOO. like i was at this meeting yesterday right which i won't say. all i can say is that i was sitting across from my town's vice mayor. i was scared to look up around at the table at everyone. i also kept my mouth shut as well the whole entire time, i usually do. i'm scared to talk to people who i'm not familiar with is weird because at my old job, i was actually socializing with the customers. one problem that i had however was that i talked very low where people were like "huh, speak up". my voice would just go down to a complete whisper because i was afraid. however, as always, i started to fall asleep during the meeting and the vice mayor must have saw that so she smacked the table. i jumped like oh shit. plus some of the members were looking at me like "is he sleeping?" i have terrible sleeping habits. hopefully, it doesn't affect me when i'm driving down to dc in a couple of hours.

i also do NOT do well in a group setting or with a bunch of people. it reminds me of how i would be in the classroom hoping that my teacher didn't call on me and when they did, i would still be too scared to talk. i would just be balled up in the corner chilling, listening to the lecture, not saying a single word because i was scared. i also hated catching the attention. you don't know how uncomfortable it felt when the professor to one of the last classes i took in college would just go from one side of the room to my side of the room looking at me when i looked up after looking down at my desk. he was looking dead at me like "you better be dosing off and you better be listening to what i'm saying. this is on your test." i wasn't even dosing off in his class either for the record if he ever reads this. i was listening the whole time.

forget the fucking class presentations too. i just get shakey and stutter and the whole nine. my nerves get shot. i feel like that husky puppy in complete distress, howling like "help me, i want out".

i just wish i was anxiety free where simple shit didn't bother me.

 

[Adrock-JD]

Some (stress) releases I'm looking forward to, except the limited copies of Blue Lagoon has me a bit anxious.

Magic Mike is released on Blu-ray/DVD Tuesday, October 23rd.

Rosemary's Baby is released for the first time on Blu-ray (Criterion Collection) on Tuesday, October 30th. This is up for pre-order at Amazon. Criterion does a grand job of transferring older films to HD.

The Blue Lagoon (1980) is released for the first time on Blu-ray on December 11th. Limited to 3000 copies. Sold by Screen Archives Entertainment online. It isn't up for pre-order yet. Probably sometime next month.

 

[refujiunderground]

RJ, cheer up--this part will get easier.

It's hard to believe now, but at one time I had such extreme social anxiety disorder that I wore gloves during most of the year. The gloves gave me a false sense of security, but one time the glove-wearing backfired.

I had to give a book report in English class in 1976 or 77, and the gloves I wore that day were making me too hot. I was so nervous--and so hot--that I passed out. Plop. Faint. (embarrassed laugh)

Even after all these years, telling this story embarrasses me.

what happened afterwards? what did you do to get over it?

but anyways, as i think i'm catching a cold, i would like to vent about the self loathing that i have for myself that has creeped up on me increasingly this past week.

i went down to d.c. with my mom who was the one who wanted to go down there for a day. we've been past the city before but we never actually went into it. you know, spending almost 365 days in new jersey where i usually follow a routine which i'm used to, it's hard to look into myself as well as how my environment keeps me from doing better.

i'm going to write a blog entry on this on here later BUT to make a long story short. after talking with my mom, walking around amongst other people, seeing the city landscape, seeing how easy going and comfortable people were with themselves, i started to grow increasing uncomfortable with myself. i was looking for someone to basically project the feelings of self loathing, hate, disappointment, annoyance, insecurity and etc like how i've done in new jersey, but i couldn't because nobody was paying me any mind. i always KNEW that my biggest enemy was always myself. it has always BEEN that. i've always said that it's because i got made fun of as a kid, i've had bullies in kindergarten, i didn't have people to listen to me and my problems BUT here i was in somewhere i never been before in a bunch of strangers READY to look for problems, not even happy, thinking the same way i've had where i thought i had to be a certain way to protect myself from others who may try to hurt me AND but yet it was ME hurting myself.

maybe it was because i didn't eat shit besides cereal, two boxes of fruit by the foot and goldfish cookies from 4 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon that really made me feel worse BUT i realized that i was slowly killing myself physically and mentally. emotionally, i'm a mess. i would like to be this guy that's happy, trying to present himself that he's okay, that i'm tough, that i will kick your ass if you talk shit about me BUT on the inside, i'm a dude that really hates himself. i don't even know why to tell you the truth or where it came from. there's people that believe or see a lot of good in me BUT i don't see what they see at all.

and i also realize that a lot of the anger that i have is actually because is from the self loathing which makes me sad and my sadness turns into anger. i try to take out my anger onto other people which leaves them the impression that i'm an angry person when in reality, it's my self loathing at work.

and when i was walking to my mom's car to get the camera she left behind so she could take a picture of the white house and back, i felt like i was a dead man walking. like i'm pretty much dying. now that i realize that how severe the problem is, i just need to figure out a way where i can help myself before this ends up killing me. if i continue on this route, i can see myself either becoming a dead or incarcerated. i've already been mentioning about how i would smoke weed BUT the reason why i'd smoke would be as a way of "self medicating" the troubling feelings and thoughts i have.

i enjoyed the trip BUT not as much as i could have because of myself.

 

[diamondstar]

Rants don't come natural to me. However there is a certain asshole I know by the name of "Elvis" no one on this forum of course. I so badly want to see him break is ankle. Seriously was a tool.

 

[refujiunderground]

I feel horrible.

why did you change your avatar?

btw, what movie was the gif based from? that was crazy. that cannonball tore that dude's head off.

 

[Nishin]

RJ, cheer up--this part will get easier.

It's hard to believe now, but at one time I had such extreme social anxiety disorder that I wore gloves during most of the year. The gloves gave me a false sense of security, but one time the glove-wearing backfired.

I had to give a book report in English class in 1976 or 77, and the gloves I wore that day were making me too hot. I was so nervous--and so hot--that I passed out. Plop. Faint. (embarrassed laugh)

Even after all these years, telling this story embarrasses me.

Wow, at first I hadn't read the first part of your post and was thinking why the hell was he wearing gloves in the classroom...
Then I read

It's hard to believe now, but at one time I had such extreme social anxiety disorder that I wore gloves during most of the year. The gloves gave me a false sense of security...

To be honest JB it is NOT that hard to believe... as in it explains some of your views you developed in the other thread about the internet where other posters (me included) were thinking you were a little bit too-careful borderline paranoid about internet stuff ...

(Ps: not being judgemental here... jut pointing this out to tell how it all makes sense in light of that information when it didn't make much sense before/without it...)

 

[refujiunderground]

The teacher sat me down for a few minutes, and then walked me to the outside commons. I slowly recovered, but not before some students who were passing by remarked on my appearance. ("You're as white as a sheet") I'd say it took about a half an hour to recover--at least, physically.

that must have been a really traumatic experience. what happened after that if you don't mind telling?

I just got through looking at pics my partner and I took during our trip to the Smokies this weekend. I look fucking terrible in each.and.every.single.picture.

To say I am not photogenic is an understatement.

just awful.

i feel your pain, man. you look fine in your photos though. don't see anything unphotogenic about you in your pics.

 

[cgymike]

All I can say from a recent dating experience (3 dates total) is I NEVER want to hear someone say "I thought you said"

Fuck you (name) if I can't stand you for three dates why the hell would I even consider spending the rest of my life with you - you whiney inferior-complex-laden loser!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't give a stuff about you exes and your baggage you twat!!!!!!!!!

A quote from QAF (British series):

Nathan: "It's not like we're exclusive...it's not like we're anything" and when asked by his date when they would see each other again Nathan said "You can can see me now" and the the other guys said "fuck you"

gggggggggg

 

[borg69unimatrix]

My Pet Peeves of the Day:

People driving slow in the fast lane. Get the fuck over!!!

Software claiming to be "Freeware", and really having limited time/use.

Robo-Callers trying to sell me shit on the phone at work.

Spam Fax's - I don't want your deal of a century to Cancun.

 

[refujiunderground]

never thought i would use this thread but here it goes....

i have the worst fucking smell in my nose right now. it's mostly of the mucus from this cold that i had on saturday where i was sneezing all fucking day.

i was going to hold these words back and go the positive route but fuck it, it's a vent thread. i really, REALLY feel like grabbing a beer bottle preferably a heineken, running up on one of these random people that i see on this dating site that i'm using, run up to them at the bar, wait for them to piss me off so i can have an excuse to smash their face wide open with that bottle. when i swing at their head, i'ma make sure that i go right for their fucking face. i'm trying to leave some serious wounds that won't heal physically and most importantly mentally and emotionally. i'm not feeling too good right now so if i'm miserable, if i think you're being a total dick or whatever, i'll make my misery yours. in fact, it's just not open to them but i'd do it to anybody who i feel deserves it.

anyways, i'm tired, i don't totally feel like complete shit but emotionally once again, a sea is storming inside of me and yeah, i'm mad. i want to go off on somebody BUT i can't because if i do, i'm unleashing everything on them and i mean everything. i'm trying to inflict as much damage on them as possible so they're fucked up. i won't kill them but at the same time, i'm going to make sure they don't stand. i'm trying to leave them all bloodied up. let me go to the gym and study this lsat to keep my mind up instead of down like right now.

 

[rareboy]

^ I think some counselling intervention is called for along with a look at your meds.

 

[refujiunderground]

^ I think some counselling intervention is called for along with a look at your meds.

people always say that despite me not having done anything crazy or having signs of me experience a nervous breakdown or a psychosis. i'm just vocal about what bothers me instead of hiding it. there are no plans on running up to anybody and doing that. that's just how i feel.