Just venting I guess

[Love_chair]

Ok am not the best writer in the world and am sorry if this is to long please forgive me LOL but today has been very interesting for me heres what happened I am at my brothers house right now btw and he just had a little party I did not no he was having guests over don't think it was planned the people just came anyways I just came up here to spend the night and later on at night time here comes about 4 more people so with me and my brother it was about 6 people in the house me my brother three other guys and one woman ok I am really not a party person I don't drink or anything but the other 5 people including my brother they was all having beer after beer they was getting wasted LOL not me I don't do anything ok well anyways I knew all the people there and I was just hanging out with everybody and talking and everybody at this party knows am gay all but one guy ok here it goes everybody else was doing there own thing but theres these 2 guys one guy already knew and the other guy just found out his friend told him I did not care I been out of the closet for along time ok so the woman and the other guy was over talking to my brother and the other 2 guys who are both straight all the 5 people are straight ok they just started talking to me about me being gay nothing bad or anything but it was so funny because it was like they both was so fascinated that I was gay because both of them just started asking me question after question and both was so curious because they said they never understood somebody being gay and they said they never understood what makes somebody gay and they said well since your gay if you don't mind we are gonna ask you some stuff about the whole gay thing and I said sure go ahead LOL and they just started talking to me and asking me a bunch of stuff like what makes somebody gay are people born that way do you hate woman why does every gay guy have anal sex how do you get a hard on why do I do this or that it was so strange I was feeling like I was being Interrogated or something LOL and then one of guys said he knew this other guy that was also gay and he said he could fix me up with him and I said thanks but I don't really wanna date anyone right now and he said oh alright well you don't have to date him he will fuck you and have sex with you and that's all it would be and I said oh ok well I don't have sex with people who I don't know I will have to get to know the person first find out more about them before anything happens and he said oh ok I respect that do you want me to bring him to meet you and I said oh no not right now and he said are you sure and I said yeah if I change my mind I will let you know and he said grate just let me or Eric(the other guy in the room) know when because I will tell him and have him meet you and who knows maybe you to will like each other and date or just have sex and I said well I am not making any guarantees on what I will do or won't do because I have never meet him and I don't know the kind of person he is but like I said am not having sex with him if you do bring him but I will talk to him and maybe something magical will happen LOL and he said yeah cool you never no but just tell me and I will bring him and I said ok I will let you know if I change my mind and all this time the 3 of us was in my bedroom talking because one of the guys wanted to get on my computer to do something and so me and the 2 guys was in my room talking and my brother the woman and the other guy they was all in the living room talking and the 2 guys talked to me for awhile and then they all had to go all 5 of them was in the same car they came up here together and so they all left my brother was already passed out on beer snoring when I went in the living room not a pretty sight LOL but the reason why I made this thread was because I made a previous thread a few months ago talking about how am kinda scared of sex which I still am and so am wondering if that guy just goes ahead and brings that guy he was talking about up here he might you never know what should I do because in a way am kinda nervous and in another way am kinda excited so I guess am just venting about the whole thing and what could happen or not happen and you know am still a virgin and theres fear and opportunity and so what do you think am I being to paranoid about the whole thing thanks everyone

 

[G-Lexington]

It's a bit weird when someone says "I know someone else who's gay - did you want me to get you two together?" If all it took was finding another gay guy, gay bars would be empty. One guy walks in, another walks in...and they both walk out.

It's MUCH weirder when they say, "Did you want me to hook you up so you can have sex?" The implication seems to be either "it's cool - this guy will screw ANYTHING", or "well, you gays will screw ANYTHING, so that's all you need, right?"

If you've had trouble meeting guys, and would like to get the opportunity, then feel free to say you'd like to meet him. "I think I'd like to meet him, see what he's like." In that case, arrange to meet him over coffee or something, and see how you feel around him. If you WOULD like to have sex with him, and he's interested too (right now, you only have these other folks' word for that), then give it a go. Just make it clear to him that you're a complete newbie at this, and so he'll have to show you how things work.

Lex

 

[bluedragon4]

I read most of it but paragraphs would be nice. I am also an awful writer. But that was like the longest run on sentence ever. I pictured a valley girl talking really fast as I read it.

 

[screwnutty]

Love_Chair......

So this is why you were not on MSN last night to chat with me. Too busy chatting with the straights and a hook up....tsk tsk tsk.

I'm crushed....


























J/King will i get to seeya tonight?

 

[mike0501]

well the first thing i would do ok is to start using some punctuation and basic rules of written grammar in your posts ok because it makes it really hard to follow ok especially when the post is so long and i no that you really want some good advice ok but it will be really hard for anyone to give you any if they cannot follow the point of your post ok hopefully you dont take offense to this it is just a suggestion ok i had a tough time myself some of the things i would suggest are using a period after a sentence and then starting the next one with a cap letter and then starting a new paragraph when you begin a new main point ok again this is just a suggestion good luck my friend ok

 

[Love_chair]

Ok am not the best writer in the world,and am sorry if this is to long please forgive me LOL.But today has been very interesting for me heres what happened I am at my brothers house right now btw.And he just had a little party,I did not no he was having guests over,don't think it was planned the people just came.Anyways I just came up here to spend the night,and later on at night time here comes about 4 more people,so with me and my brother it was about 6 people in the house me my brother three other guys and one woman.

Ok I am really not a party person I don't drink or anything,but the other 5 people including my brother they was all having beer after beer,they was getting wasted LOL not me I don't do anything ok.Well anyways I knew all the people there,and I was just hanging out with everybody and talking and everybody at this party knows am gay all but one guy. Ok here it goes everybody else was doing there own thing.But theres these 2 guys one guy already knew and the other guy just found out,his friend told him I did not care,I been out of the closet for along time.

Ok so the woman and the other guy was over talking to my brother.And the other 2 guys who are both straight all the 5 people are straight,ok they just started talking to me about me being gay nothing bad or anything.But it was so funny because it was like they both was so fascinated that I was gay.Because both of them just started asking me question after question and both was so curious.Because they said they never understood somebody being gay,and they said they never understood what makes somebody gay,and they said well since your gay if you don't mind we are gonna ask you some stuff about the whole gay thing and I said sure go ahead LOL.

And they just started talking to me and asking me a bunch of stuff like what makes somebody gay,are people born that way,do you hate woman,why does every gay guy have anal sex,how do you get a hard on,why do I do this or that it was so strange,I was feeling like I was being Interrogated or something LOL.

And then one of guys said he knew this other guy that was also gay,and he said he could fix me up with him.And I said thanks but I don't really wanna date anyone right now.And he said oh alright well you don't have to date him he will fuck you and have sex with you and that's all it would be.And I said oh ok well I don't have sex with people who I don't know,I will have to get to know the person first find out more about them before anything happens.And he said oh ok I respect that do you want me to bring him to meet you.And I said oh no not right now.And he said are you sure.

And I said yeah if I change my mind I will let you know,and he said grate just let me or Eric(the other guy in the room) know when because I will tell him and have him meet you,and who knows maybe you to will like each other and date or just have sex.and I said well I am not making any guarantees,on what I will do or won't do because I have never meet him,and I don't know the kind of person he is but like I said am not having sex with him if you do bring him but I will talk to him and maybe something magical will happen LOL.And he said yeah cool you never no but just tell me and I will bring him.And I said ok I will let you know if I change my mind.

And all this time the 3 of us was in my bedroom talking.Because one of the guys wanted to get on my computer to do something,and so me and the 2 guys was in my room talking.And my brother the woman and the other guy they was all in the living room talking.And the 2 guys talked to me for awhile,and then they all had to go all 5 of them was in the same car they came up here together and so they all left.My brother was already passed out on beer snoring when I went in the living room not a pretty sight LOL.

But the reason why I made this thread,was because I made a previous thread a few months ago talking about how am kinda scared of sex which I still am.And so am wondering if that guy just goes ahead,and brings that guy he was talking about up here he might you never know what should I do.Because in a way am kinda nervous and in another way am kinda excited.So I guess am just venting about the whole thing and what could happen or not happen.And you know am still a virgin,and theres fear and opportunity and so what do you think,Am I being to paranoid about the whole thing.Thanks everyone.

 

[Love_chair]

Sorry everyone about the messy writing. I tryed to clean it up,so it would be just a little easier to follow. I will try to work on my,writing skills from now on LOL. But everyone read the new version, it should be alittle easier to follow then the other. But thanks everyone

 

[rareboy]

The second time around, I was able to determine what you were going for. Before I answer, I want you to read the following and see how much easier it is to communicate with economy of words. When people have trouble with spelling and grammar, I would always encourage them to write less, not more. When you are telling a story, much the same applies, but you are allowed a little more freedom to embellish. Just try not to do it too much or you will lose your listener's interest.

Today has been very interesting for me. My brother just had a little party. Two guys who are both straight started talking to me about me being gay. It was like they both were so fascinated that I was gay. One of guys said he knew this other guy that was also gay,and he said he could fix me up with him.

I told him, " Thanks but I don't really wanna date anyone right now."

He said, "Oh alright; well you don't have to date him. He will fuck you and have sex with you and that's all it would be."

I added, "Well, I won't have sex with people who I don't know, I will have to get to know the person first to find out more about them before anything happens."

He said, "Oh, ok. I respect that. Do you want me to bring him to meet you?"

I said "Oh no, not right now. "

He asked if I was sure and I told him that if I changed my mind I would let him know. He told me to let either him or his friend know and they would have their gay friend meet me and who knows, maybe it might lead to dating or just sex. I said I wouldn't be making any guarantees about what I would or wouldn't do because I hadn't met him and don't know the kind of person he is. He replied "Yeah, cool. You never know, but just tell me and I will bring him."

Again, I told him I'd let him know if I changed my mind.

The reason why I made this thread, was because I made a previous thread a few months ago about how am kinda scared of sex, which I still am. I am wondering if that guy just goes ahead and brings that guy he was talking about , what should I do?

In a way I am nervous and in another way excited. So, I guess I am just venting about the whole thing and what could happen or not happen. I am still a virgin and there's fear and opportunity. So what do you think; am I being too paranoid about the whole thing? Thanks everyone.

Now my answer.

Yes, you are being paranoid. I wish I'd had friends when I was your age that had gay friends and were cool enough to help us hook up.

If you still haven't figured out why you're afraid of sex, I'd work on that first, though. You don't want to load some poor guy down with all this baggage when they're just hoping to find a bf or at the very least, to just get laid. I still think it is all tied to overall self image and self confidence. I would encourage you to try to get more education and experience in order to develop more self confidence. Then you aren't likely to be as fearful about sexuality.

If he brings the guy over, why not just talk to him and see if he is someone you'd like to have as a friend, or even better, as a bf.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

With all the due respect, I would be very suspicious of anyone trying to help me hook up for sex (or anything else for that matter) with someone they know, based on the common knowledge that both of us happen to be gay. That alone does not cut it, in my books, that is.

First off, such an idea presupposes that every two gay guys would want to meet up and possibly have sex with each other? Frankly, I do not see this as being true in most cases, that is.

Second, such an idea implies that I may not be able to find my partners, mates, gay friends, etc., on my own and it would be thus, charitable of them to help me out, even if such help has never been solicited.

Third, the actual situation that comes out of such arrangements tends to be rather awkward and a bit artificial, too, reeking of a 'pre-arranged dates/marriages', etc..

I'd thank them very kindly, and let them know that I am fine and perfectly capable of finding my own gay mate on my own. No assistance needed.

Just a thought...

SC

 

[Love_chair]

First I wanna thank you. (Rareboy) & (SilverRRCloud and to everyone else for all the advice it really means alot to me. And second I think your right (Rareboy) that me being afraid of sex is alot about me, and me not wanting to open and give myself to someone.

Because am paranoid there going to have sex with me, leave me and there I will be lonely again and hurting knowing that I gave my virginity to someone who could and just might damage me. God how screwed up am I LOL but am going to take a big step out of my little trust issue box.

And am going to tell these people to let me meet there friend, and am going to talk with him and see what kind of person he is and see if I like him. Because I would really like to find love in my life and, maybe this guy will be it. I will never know unless I meet him right.

But I appreciate everything and everybody you guys, are grate. And btw am going to try to improve my spelling & grammar I know am bad LOL. bye bye.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Love_chair,

Mate, remember... you are a part of this. You have rights and control. You deserve respect, you deserve understanding... and your desires and wishes have to be respected. You have great morals, great values. Those are your traits, your gifts... be proud of those things and dont be quick to give them away or water them down if you dont want to.

Your fear and nerves about sex are completely normal. Anyone doing some thing new for the first time feels nerves, especially something like sex which can have so many emotions and feelings tied in.

You are under no obligation to do anything with this guy. You can meet him and have coffee. Or you can not meet him at all. His friend gives the impression that he's only looking for sex so thats available too - if you want it.

Mate... think about your values and how you feel. Sex is important... but for some sex without love is completely worthless. Its up to you to choose what you feel is right for you. Its your right to do what you feel best suits you. Its your choice, your decision. Its something that you are in control of.

Theres no right or wrong answer here Love_chair... only an answer that suits you. Consider your feelings and values - sex will always be available trust me - consider what you want both short and long term. Then decide.

And if those guys cant or dont want to respect that, then thats their problem. You're better than having that sort of people in your life.

 

[screwnutty]

Miles. Tallguy is right about the sex. It's only good when your truly love the other person. It's a risk that you take when you open your heart up to a person. I guess I just feel conflicted (but you already know that from our talks). I think you need friends that you can relate to in real life cause I may not always be here for you. But please...don't have sex with him cause you feel pressure to do so. Look inside of your heart. It never lies. It will tell you what to do.

Oh I have a song I was trying to remember and I'm posting it here incase that day we talked about tonight every happens and you just disappear from my life. I will always remember you. You've been the best thing in my life since Jeremy and yeah....I leave it at that. Incase i don't get to say it in chat. Have a merry christmas and you will be on my mind when i'm with my family. I wish you could meet them. I want you to meet them. I want to meet you.

Merry Christmas miles!

Remember this song is in response to you "disappearing and would i remember you" YES I WOULD!!

 

[rareboy]

Excellent. Now have a Merry Christmas.

 

[MrFlyGuy89]

Hey Miles

Oh so this is what u meant the other night eh? LOL Got it. So It took awhile 2 read through this whole thread but I have 2 agree w/ Tallguys advice. He had sum good points there but in the end the ball iz in ur court. If u feel like ur ready 2 do this then go 4 it but if u rnt comfortable w/ anything then dont. Personally, I think you should meet guy...but don't do anything. Get 2 know eachother first bcuz first times r special & u should feel this guy out b4 u do anything w/ him. & I know ur afraid cuz ur a virgin & I totally c where ur comin from cuz I'm one 2, but if ur expecting love and all that than u should get 2 know him first cuz the last thing we all want iz 4 u 2 get hurt. So just think about that & keep us updated! I wish u the best of luck pal

James