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Kid 14 comes out; Family is big-time support

operafan

operafan

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Talks about the effect of kids coming out earlier and earlier.

Parenting
Accepting an Identity, and Gaining Strength

parenting600.jpg
C. M. Glover for The New York Times
Zach O’Connor, center, with his brother, Matt, 15, and their parents, Cindy and Dan.

Published: April 1, 2007 MADISON, Conn.


ONE month before Zach O’Connor, a seventh grader at Brown Middle School here, came out about being gay, he was in such turmoil that he stood up in homeroom and, in a voice everyone could hear, asked a girl out on a date. It was Valentine’s Day 2003, and Zach was 13.


“I was doing this to survive,” he says. “This is what other guys were doing, getting girlfriends. I should get one, too.”


He feared his parents knew the truth about him. He knew that his father had typed in a Google search starting with “g,” and several other recent “g” searches had popped up, including “gay.”


“They asked me, ‘Do you know what being gay is?’ ” he recalls. “They tried to explain there’s nothing wrong with it. I put my hands over my ears. I yelled: ‘I don’t want to hear it! I’m not, I’m not gay!’ ”
..................................................

But in recent years, he says, the kids are 14 to 17 and more confident. “They say: ‘Hi, I’m gay. How do I meet people?’ ”



Rest of the story: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/n...Parenting.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=nyregion
 
That's just soooooo beautiful!!! :D

If only all of society could think more like that, our world would just be perfect!
 
This information age we live in does make it easier for kids to not only realize what they're feeling means but also realize that it's normal. Kids are less afraid, less confused. Society is also making it easier for parents to accept gay children. It's a wonderful thing.
 
Maybe kids are growing up sooner nowadays, being exposed to real life more via tv. If so, expect younger and younger folks coming out in your life time. This seems to be a million miles and another world from when I was growing up two decades ago.
 
Anyone notice the date on the article, or I am just too jaded all ready?
 
And if this is some sort of parody, it isn't a very good one. Having him come out as straight to his parents, who desperately wanted him to be gay, would be funny. Having him come out as gay, and having them be supportive, is either touching or infuriating, depending on which side you're on.

Hello, ES, from 60 miles north. :wave: How's life in Christian Springs? ;)

Lex
 
“I was the future. Most of the men were middle-aged or older, and to see this 14-year-old out, they loved it. They were so happy.”
Click to expand...

LOL

This quote could sooo be taken out of context, hehe.

Great story. Does anyone ever feel envious about reading this type of stuff? I grew up in the closet in high school. Luckily, I came out after I graduated but I still feel envious about Zach. How about you older gents? Some of you grew up during a time period where they'd kill you if they found out you were gay. All of those years were robbed from you. And here someone like Zach comes out in the 7th grade with a big parade and tiara.

I guess we suffer so others after us can live in happiness. I thank my fellow, older gay men who have fought society so that I could become who I am. I only hope these 14-17 year olds we have now, appreciate you and I the same way.
 
I didn't come out in high school, but that was because I literally had no idea. I'm not exactly the swiftest boat in the armada, if you catch my drift. It would've been tough, though - I was at a suburban high school in a red state, so I probably wouldn't have even had I known.

Lex
 
Along with this, we need to be ready to handle the situations that younger teens may find themselves in if they come out to unsupportive families. Teen homelessness and teen runaways are 30% LGBT.
 
G-Lexington said:
I didn't come out in high school, but that was because I literally had no idea. I'm not exactly the swiftest boat in the armada, if you catch my drift. It would've been tough, though - I was at a suburban high school in a red state, so I probably wouldn't have even had I known.

Lex
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's me. I had no idea for a long time. I don't know how I could have been so stupid - but I was in a rural community and there was not much opportunity for human interaction let alone finding out I was gay.

For me, age 14 would have been 1950 - not too many parades and tiaras for gay boys at that time.

I don't spend time regretting what cannot be helped - but I am so grateful to see stories like this one because it does give one hope for the future.
 
I read that story today too. I was so happy about it. I feel jelous too at his wonderful ability to come out in such a healthy way and with so much support and so young. What is really cool is that he doesn't even label himself anymore he just is. We should all strive for that. Be.
 
If only all families were like this one.
 
I came out at 15 which next year will be 20 years. My parents were very supportive and I also came out to my school by accident(someone overheard me telling someone I was gay and who I had a crush on)I remember having that longing to meet other gay people. It may seem easier now to some but I think it sounds harder. The internet is filled with odd people who lie about their age. Who knows who they are really talking to?I joined a youth group at 19 and started going to bars at 15. But it was the 80's so it was all neon lights and 80's music and no sex.It was a lot of innocent fun. Everything seems more seedy now. But it could be I'm just getting older-lol.
 
My bf came out in 8th grade, and i SO wish i had done the same. Seems like the earlier the better....
Awesome article though.
 
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