Language help

[Aymotin]

Hey guys,

I have a small problem with small talk in english. For example I have no idea what to say when I am asked every day by the same person "How are you?"

I mean, I can´t tell him the truth, can I?
"Hey, quite okay, mild diarrhea with pretty bad smell and we have been shot three times on the way which goes on my nerves a bit, but looking forward to get back to my container and watch some porn cause being surrounded by all you old beardy guys make me sexually frustrated after a while."

Please help me out with some good answers to that sort of courtesy-talk.

 

[gsdx]

People who ask 'How are you?" are asking to be polite. They don't really want to know how you really are. No matter how you feel, it's best to give them a polite answer.

This is a little poem I wrote many years ago about an acquaintance of mine:

Honestly, some people's
Manners repel you.
You ask how they are and
God-dammit they tell you!

 

[Axxess]

Hey guys,

I have a small problem with small talk in english. For example I have no idea what to say when I am asked every day by the same person "How are you?"

"Fine."
That always works for me.

If English isn't your first language, what is, if you don't mind my asking?

 

[justaguy]

I normally just answer :
'Pretty good. Yourself?'

Everyone likes talking about themselves, so ask them a question too.

And take the conversation from there. If I don't know the person I usually follow up with something about the weather.

'Great day. I love it when it's sunny like this.'
OR
'A bit chilly last night.'

When you first meet someone, you don't want to say anything about your health or the economy or politics. You would probably find the other person walking away pretty smartly. You'll be seen as a negative person (rightly or wrongly), and this will be the impression the other person will keep.

 

[Aymotin]

"Fine."
That always works for me.

If English isn't your first language, what is, if you don't mind my asking?

Well, just saying "fine" every day might be seen as a little stupid or rude. I want to be polite, but I am quite bad in small talk, even in my native language (which is german btw).


While I am on it: How to greet between "good morning" and "good evening"? I usualy have to jump into one of the offices around 1300, so whats a good way to greet the bunch of paperkillers in the office without being to formal?

 

[SonOfSlobone]

Well, just saying "fine" every day might be seen as a little stupid or rude. I want to be polite, but I am quite bad in small talk, even in my native language (which is german btw).


While I am on it: How to greet between "good morning" and "good evening"? I usualy have to jump into one of the offices around 1300, so whats a good way to greet the bunch of paperkillers in the office without being to formal?

Hi, or Hey guys, is good any time of day. People in America don't say "good morning" or "good evening" that much anymore, I've noticed.

 

[Beachguyj]

The Chinese ask have you eaten today, but they don't mean it either.

 

[ashonfire]

I respond with "I'm well, how are you?" pretty much without exception.

 

[Swellegant]

The art of small-talk is to keep it small... nothing too important, nothing too involved, nothing too detailed. It's made up mostly of rote phrases like "how are you?" and "I'm fine, how are you?" which don't actually mean anything.

I, however, like to be honest, so I actually tell people how I really am when they ask. But in the rules of small-talk, you keep it brief and relatively positive and/or end with an opener:

"Super! And you?"
"Doing pretty good, thanks."
"I'm OK, getting better."
"Feeling kinda wonky, but I'll be fine later."
"It's been a rough morning, but it's almost over."
"I have an excruciating headache. Damned allergies."

Usually, if I do that, the other person tells me something a little more about how they're doing, and we can have a little conversation. But if you have to actually think about what you're going to say, it's better to say nothing, and only follow the lead of the other person. Small-talk should never be forced.

 

[bankside]

The trick is to realise it's just a round-about way of saying "I find you tolerable and pleasant enough that I would rather not ignore you."

Just say "Fine, thanks, and you?" and then you can change the subject to "Nice day for a bike ride."

Of course if you actually have been shot at that is news. Kind of the once in a lifetime thing you get to talk about for weeks.

 

[Aymotin]

Of course if you actually have been shot at that is news. Kind of the once in a lifetime thing you get to talk about for weeks.

Lol no happens on regular bases, I work in third world countries.

Thanks for the input guys, I realy suck at small talk

 

[LaughOutLoud]

"Not bad, thanks. How are you"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Yeah, not too bad. How's things with you?"

Or, you could get in there first with "Hey, how are you?", "How's things?", "How's it going?"

This list could go on forever, those are just a few standard responses I find myself using most days