Leaving Him Behind

[Sleepybeast]

The phone rang three times before a perky feminine voice answered.
"Hello?"

"Hi uhh this is Jacob, Michael’s friend? He told me you would be expecting my call?" I said twisting a lock of my hair.

"The guy from his work? Yeah he said you were interested in us." I blushed, alone in my apartment.

"Yeah I uhh.." The voice cut me off.

"Its okay sweetie, don't be nervous, no one is here to judge. All you have to do is tell me what you want him to look like and how long you want him for."

"I’m not sure, ( I chuckled nervously) it's not exactly like ordering food, is it?"

"It can be. Let me ask you this, in high school that made your little heart almost leap out your chest? The jock in the jersey, the rocker with the dirty sneakers, the thuggish sagger or the artistic nerd?"

My heart knew the answer and it stung almost too quick even after all this time.

"The sagger." I said quietly.

"I thought so." The voice replied. "How long do you want him for?"

"How much for the night?"

"Twenty-five hundred and He wakes you up in the morning."

I lowered the phone and a tear dripped down my cheek landing on my knee.

"Hello? Jacob are you there?" The voice called out.

"Yes I’m here, and I’ll take the night."

"Very good, what is your address and how will you be paying for this?"

"106 Elks, apartment 99, is cash okay?"

"More than... "The voice laughed. "You can pay him when he gets there, and as part of the deal I must explain that if any foul play occurs or our guy does not show up the next morning we will investigate, if you get what I mean."

"Understood." I answered quickly.

"Okay then you can expect a knock on your door no later than seven tomorrow evening."

"Thanks for the help."

"No problem honey, enjoy yourself!" We both hung up our phones.

I walked back to my bed on the floor to stare out the window above it, i got on my knees and leand against the metal edge. A light breeze made its way through the tiny holes that made up the screen, it tried to dry my stream of tears but the constant flow would not let it. How did things get the way they are? It only took till I turned twenty-four to actually pursue work and attempt adulting, but since then its been four years of the same emptiness.

What made everything grey and worth passing up was as immaterial as it gets. Love. Love of someone who's love I never had, and not even acknowledged. What’s worse than loving someone who you cannot have? Its to know that there was something you could have done when it seemed the ultimate no can do at the time. It's not at all comforting to know I led myself on my own leash to this simple world of mine. Maybe after tomorrow night, even if I have to pay for it, I can finally leave him behind. Back in the past where he belongs.

The next day​

"You did what? And it cost how much?" Dee-face slammed her landline down and in what felt like moments later was knocking on my door. I opened it to a frantic little brunette, although she's added blond tips since the last I saw her.

"Again, Jacob you poor fool, what did you do and how much did cost you?" she passed me inside and flung her hobo patch-work like bag on the couch in the corner.

"Look if you could do me the favor of not judging me and just offer me up some undivided approval that would help out like you wouldn't believe." I said closing the door and went back to the soapy dishes floating in the sink.

"You cooked right? It smells all like herbs and delicious in here."

"Yeah there's a plate in the oven for you, I knew you'd be hungry..."

"Thawww thanks, mom." Dee opened the oven and grinned wide when she did.

"Uh mom?"

"Yes dear?" I answered in a mock mom voice.

"I see here there are two plates in here...who's Plate is that? Your date's?" she laughed closing the oven and sat up on the counter leaning against the top cupboards.

"So? He might be hungry."

"You know you don't have to feed him first? Shit as much as this guys costs he should cook for you." she joked ripping off the foil cover and got a fork from the drawer under her.

"Psss... He'd cost more then what I'm paying now, I think they pretty much charge for the prolonging of like ejaculating." Dee nodded having at the noodles in her bowl. "If I had just rented him for an hour we could have gone out to eat tonight but I think I’d like it quiet." I lowered my head then noticed Dee-face stopped eating.

"I know you asked for undivided blah blah but you know me, I have to ask." she placed the bowl aside and tore a napkin from the roll attached under the cupboard, wiping her mouth. "What is this really about? I don't think your dad would have wanted you to use that money that way."

I turned back to the remaining dishes and started washing again.

"I know he didn't, but he told to do what it was that was keeping me cemented, and after tonight it I think that's what will happen." my eyes shifted to the stove clock.

"Holy shit its almost seven he should be here soon, you have to go."

" But the pasta.."

"Take the bowl ill get it later, just go."

Dee grabbed her purse and slung it over her head and stopped me from moving and hugged me tight.

"I know he broke your heart, even though he never knew it."

I chuckled.

"Sad isn't it? Heartbroken over an unattainable, could I be more of a cliché?" she laughed.

"I don't know chandler but do what you have to do to move on, it would be nice to see you smile outside of our apartments. Remember I’m just upstairs so if anything you hit that ceiling with that big ole witchy-poo broom you have and ill bring the damn Calvary guns blazing. Got it?"

I teared a bit. "Got it. Take care of you."

"Take care of you."

I handed her the bowl of pasta from the counter and let out the water left in the sink. "Hey." Dee shouted holding up her bag and the pasta in front of the opened door.

"Big mistake...BIG...HUGE... I have to go shopping now..." She closed the door behind her. "Bitch..." I laughed to myself.

It almost seemed like seconds before a solid three "knock knock knock" happened.

To be continued...​

 

[Craiger]

Wow! I wish I had the money to buy something like that... Interesting new story, Jake, can't wait to see where this goes.

Craiger

 

[Autolycus]

You have made a great start and got all of our attention, looking forward to the next episode

 

[Kyanimal]

I am totally digging this so far!

Definitely an interesting start! Can't wait to "hear"/read where you're gong to be taking us with this adventure!

 

[Sleepybeast]

Hope you like this instalment, happy reading!

__________________________________________________________

PART TWO​

I think that was longest in my life that I had gone without a breath.

"Knock knock knock." I went over and opened the door, trying to keep a steady pace in a breath. "Jacob?" his rough voice asked.

"Yeah...I um, yes. Yeah..." He smiled a blinding smile. He knew the effect he had on me.

"I'm Javier...Can I come in?" he asked adjusting his snapback. I snapped and stepped aside closing the door and lightly hit my head against it.

"Decent place you got here, you live alone?"

"Just me. Can I be honest with you about something?" he turned and looked at me almost making me faint. "After you pay me, then you can have all the honesty you can handle."

"Right, okay." I pulled out my wallet and counted out in hundred bills the amount and handed it over to him. He folded the money and put it away in his pocket.

"Do you always carry that much money around?" I chuckled.

"I never have that much on a regular basis but it's nice of you to think I could." My cell phone started playing the theme music from Harry Potter. "Excuse me?" he lifted his hand. "By all means, the night is yours." I turned and let loose the cheesiest smile you could imagine.

"Hello?"

"HOLY SHIT!" Dee shouted into my ear. "That mother sucker is fine as fuck!"

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "How do you know?"

"He passed me in the hall when I left, he's so hot I dropped your bowl, I owe you a bowl by the way."

"Okay-okay I got to go!"

"Do it Bitch!" was all I heard before I hung on her.

"Everything okay?" that voice asked from the couch where he sat. "Just fine...So what should we do?" I asked him walking over and sitting on the other end of the couch. "Well that's completely up to you." he said placing his hand on my knee. "Start with what you wanted to be honest with me about earlier?"

"Oh right! I just...If possible I just you to be...You." he looked confused.

"I'm still in love with someone who is so far out of my reach its ridiculous."

"He's a blind son of a bitch if he couldn't see that sparkle in you." that damn cheese smile appeared again. "Okay I won’t lie to you. That was nice." I said.

"But I just want to have a night with you as a persona of him. I'm hoping if I can get that I could leave him behind me and move on", he watched me watching my fingers. "Is that okay?"

"So if I have this right, you want me just to be a boyfriend for the night? Just me...Normally?"

"It's weird right? I just don't know what else to do. I'm hoping if you can give me a night with him I can use it to try and move on."

After a few seconds he stood up and unbuttoned his long sleeve shirt, taking it off and tossing it on the back of the couch. In a black muscle shirt I could see his curves of muscle across his torso, it was almost unreal. He unbuckled his jeans dropping them to the floor and kicked them aside along with his sneakers, leaving him in a pair of silver basketball shorts and his sport socks.

"What are you doing?" I asked almost drooling on myself.

"Well you want me to be me? This is what I’d be doing if I was just me at home."

"Home?" I asked. "Yeah at home and considering I wouldn't have you in my home with me like this unless I was comfortable with you, for the night were both at home." he sat back down and found a comfy spot. "Come here, I want you to sit with me." I slipped off my zip sweater and tossed it aside. "That's it, get comfortable, so what's on tonight?" he asked turning on the TV with the remote he got from the coffee table. "American Horror Story?"

"Sounds good, what's this one about?"

"I'm not sure it's only the first episode, but I liked it that's for sure." I said nestling up my cheek to his chest. It was nice. This feeling of belonging to someone even if it's not real. I guess he could feel my tension. He lifted my chin to look at him. "Relax baby, I've got you." he closed his eyes as he pressed his firm lips against mine. It was a few seconds of absolute bliss, and I could feel my muscles slowly almost melt into his. I put my hand on his stomach to admittedly get a feel in when I felt it rumble. "Are you hungry?"

"I wasn't until I got here. It smelled like the olive garden when I walked in. You want to go get something? There's a café around here that's pretty freaking amazing"

"Yeah Finn's, I get my coffee from there sometimes." We got up and Javi put his jeans back on and his shoes after. "Do you have a sweater or somethin'? I don't feel like wearing that button up."

"Yeah I do actually..." I walked over to the closet by the front door and pulled out a maroon pullover with a band name across the front. "Here I never wear it."

"Why not?" he asked throwing it over his head. "It was an old boyfriend's well my only boyfriend's."

"So you've had a boyfriend?" I could tell he regretted that question. "Yeah but it was...Not ideal to say the least." he stepped closer to me. "What happened?" I looked up at his flawless face then back to the floor.

"He would say that I was too sad and constantly needed his attention, not that he was wrong. I just didn't want to party and drink and stay up all night." I said tapping my nose. "And he didn't like that." Javie said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"He even punched me once for accidently throwing away one of his baggies cleaning up this place after his birthday party." Javie pulled me into him and wrapped me up in a bear hug. "Fukin' tweaker, be glad I never met him id have killed that son of a bitch."

When we hit the street outside my building the wind was high, but it felt nice. There were a lot of people on the streets. It was the weekend after all, and nearly everyone's eyes went from his face to mine then down to us holding hands. It was thrilling! Like the first time you go to a liquor store, you're allowed to be there but still feel like you could get in trouble. The diner was only a block away so we reached it in no time. It was all lit up ready for the drunken youths of the city. We walked in and were greeted by a small lady with a smile. "Table for two?"

"Yes ma’am" Javie said politely.

"This way." she said grabbing menus from her counter. Javier put his hand on my lower back and guided me in front of him, the feeling set off rockets inside me. We sat at a table towards the back of the place against an open window that looked out to the street.

"Drinks mister?" the waitress asked Javie.

"Sweet tea for me."' I said.

"Same for me, thank you ma’am."

"Such a gentleman, I’ll be back with those drinks in a bit." she said ignoring me. "Someone has a crush." I said once she left. "On you? Yeah I have it bad." Javie said lifting his menu to read. That damn cheese smile, back again. "Well thank you, but I meant her." I said still smiling.

"What makes you say that?" he said putting the menu aside.

"She couldn't take her eyes off you I mean she barely noticed me."

"Oh yeah?"

The waitress came back with two tall glasses of tea. "Here you are. So what can I get for you?" she asked. "For us you mean?" Javi replied. "I'm sorry?" the waitress said still flirting.

"There is two of sitting here." he said holding his hand out towards me. "Yes there is..." she said looking at me. Javie slid out of his chair, leaned over the table and kissed me like you wouldn't believe, I barely did. When he finished he sat back down looking up at the waitress who was a combination of confused and pissed off. "If we could have a few more minutes and another waitress that would be great, thanks."

"Donna! Take this table." the waitress said storming to the kitchen. The other waitress came over smiling, cheeks red. "Oh my gosh guys! That was amazing...I mean did you see her face?" her jet black straight bangs bounced around her forehead. "Okay, so what can I get you guys?"

The next two hours flew by in glances. Everyone else in the world didn't exist. He made me laugh and I made him think. It was the best thing I could have asked from him. If he felt the same, was irrelevant I had to tell myself though. When the sun comes up hell be gone and I'll be hopefully left with something good. "So you've actually been to Disney world?" he asked me excited. "I have, it was an amazing trip. I wish my parents were more present on this trip but it was great!"

"What do you mean present?" he asked sipping his coffee. "Well they had to take the week off from work to take me but there was something going on with the company at the time I guess so they spent a lot of time in the hotel or on the phone. I rode the rides alone or the off chance I'd meet another kid who was riding alone."

"That couldn't have been fun; they didn't ride with you or were taking pictures at least?" He asked. "Not a picture exists from that trip but I mean at least I was there, a lot of people can't say that despite how much money that place makes every...Year..." My eyes widened and my eyes froze. I should have known he would show up here to ruin the one night I'm happy. "What is it?" Javi asked turning to look behind him. "Remember the boyfriend? The son of a bitch? That's him walking in with the green shirt."

"Do you want to go? We can leave right now if you want to."

"No, were having a good time, he's sitting over there. Who cares about him?" Then from across the restaurant he just couldn't help himself. "Well look who it is! Jacob is that your gay ass over there?" Javier looked like he was getting mad so I put my hand on his fist. "Please? Don't get in trouble? Just ignore him." He walked over obviously on who knows what, what the hell was I thinking?

"How are you, boy? It's been a while!" when he reached the table I could smell the beer stink that flowed off him. "Davis go away please?" I asked quietly. "What are you doing tonight? Wanna hang out or somethin? Like old times?" he said putting his hand on my shoulder. Javier shot from the chair tossing it back scaring the other people. "You better take a step back fuckin tweaker!"

"Who the hell is this guy Jake? Is that my fuckin sweater? I knew you kept that shit you fuckin cry-baby bitch!" Just after that sentence was over Davis received a punch that knocked him down to the floor. The other people were watching us waiting for us to move first. Javie took out his wallet and threw some money on the table. "Let's go Jacob, I'm sorry everyone!" Javie said picking up the chair and pushed it under the table. "Hey what the fuck, man! Someone call the cops!" Davis said from the floor trying to stand. Javie let me out of the door but stayed back inside. "Call the fuckin cops bro, let 'em check your pockets while they're at it!
He stayed quiet. "Don't bother Jacob anymore, you've done enough damage to him, he's with someone who can love him." Javie paused for a second to think. "He's with a real man now." he took off the sweater and threw it on the floor. "Don't fuck up Davis, I promise you'll regret it." He walked out and met up with me outside heading towards my apartment. He puts an arm around me and I noticed the sweater was gone. A tear fell down my cheek once again but this time it was for a different reason. A good reason.

"Thank you."

To be continued...

 

[Kyanimal]

Wow! I am SO digging this!

Do, Please, Write On, Jake!

 

[Craiger]

Me too!!! I want a bf like Javie. I desperately need protection... Thanks, Jake.

Craiger

 

[Sleepybeast]

When we got into my apartment I excused myself to the restroom, I had to take a moment to remind myself once again that this was nothing but just pretend. I have no idea how i could thank Javier for what he did for me with Davis.
"vmmm...vmmm...vmmm" Javie's cell vibrated.
"yeah?"
"Javie? How is everything going? Is everything okay?" The perky voiced asked. He stayed silent for a second.
"Javie? Hello?"
"Yeah I'm here, everything is good. Not what I was expecting but good."
"What do you mean? Was he a grease potato?"
Javie chuckled lightly.
"Actually very much the opposite, I really like him. He's not our usual customer."
"Yeah? Well dont fall in love too hard, you have to leave him in the morning, remember?" Javie's smile fell down.
"Yeah I remember." Javie hung up the phone.
"Is everything okay?" I asked startling him.
"Yeah, just a friend. How about you? Are you okay?"
"I'm okay. So what next?"
"Is it sad if I say bed? I just really want to be in your arms..."
I undressed and threw on an old shirt and some cut off sweats, he dropped his jeans and tossed off his muscle shirt. Javie threw himself on the bed and tucked his legs under the black comforter. He leaned his head on his hand and held out the other to me, I bowed jokingly and walked over to, for the first time in a long time, a desired someone was in my bed. I took his hand and he guided me into his arms. My cheek was pressed against his collarbone and it smelled amazing. I could feel myself shaking. Every touch sent shivers in every direction. My breath got slow and heavy. Javie kissed my forehead.
"I can feel you shake." Javie pointed out in a deep voice.
"I'm trying not to, I'm sorry."
"Dont be sorry. I'm sorry that you have never been held before. The right way anyway."
"Yeah?" Javie moved himself to look me in the eyes.
"Do you even know how rare you are? How many men out there are ready and willing to sacrifice their integrity to get a man to love them? Its alot, trust me, but you...You were ready to wait till someone worthy came along." I looked away from his gaze.
"How ready could have been to wait, I had to pay for tonight." Javie looked confused, like he had forgotten for a second that I did.
"Yeah you did. And if you want my honest opinion i dont think you should have."
"What do you mean?"
He took a deep breath.
"Someone like you shouldn't pay to be loved. Someone should be lucky to find you, and he should be aware of the delicate heart he holds. I'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you feel weird." He turned his face from me.
"Javi?" He looked back at me.
"Put everything aside for me, our deal, the money, everything. Make love to me?"
I closed my eyes as he leaned close to me. His breath was warm and tickled my chin. He shot up and tossed the comforter off us both then tossed off his tank.
"I want to watch you tremble." and was I ever. He propped himself above me and planted kisses along my neck slowly thrusting his frame against me. I felt his hands reach under my shirt and shook at his finger tips gliding along my side, he slipped off my shirt and threw it aside. I closed my eyes when he starting kissing his way down my torso, when he reached my waistband he pulled it down and took my shorts off.
I could see a glisten in his eyes, his desire was real and it made me smile.
"What's so funny?" he asked me slipping off his shorts.
"I just...I've never felt like this."
"LIKE?" He whispered leaning his hips on top of mine.
"Beautiful." Javie licked his hand and massaged me.
I felt him slowly enter me and I lost my breath. It was a lustful combination of pain and pleasure. Javie looked me in the eyes as I received him. I leaned up and pressed my lips against his. The night went on for hours it seemed, when it was over we slept in each others arms, I took a moment to note the feeling of his breathing against my back. For the first time in too long I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
The sun looked like it had been up for a while when I opened my eyes, I was alone in my bed and it hit me hard. I sat on the edge of my bed and slipped my shorts back on from the floor. I put my head in my hands.
"Great plan, Jacob." I told to myself.
______________________________________________________________________________

The music was blasting as Javier walked into his boss's apartment, and he was welcomed as he walked in.
"Aye, Javi, you just getting in?" Marcus asked, another one like me, getting up from the couch to shake his hand.
"Yeah, I had an all nighter last night."
"What? For real? We dont get this often, how was it?" Javie chuckled.
"Unexpected, came out of left field and shit."
"Was she a ten, bro?"
"It was a guy actually..." Marcus made "yeesh" face as his phone started ringing.
"Dang bro, listen ill catch you later, let me know if they set you up tonight or else we'll go out." marcus said as he stepped out of the apartment. Javie smiled.
"Yeah bro, he was a ten."
From the other room Angie, his boss, came in with her headset on.
"Anything for today?" I asked getting her money out of my wallet.
"So far no but it's only lunchtime, how'd it go?" she asked me sitting on her lounger.
"Can I talk to you about something?" she froze looking at me.
"Well, I dont like the way, this sounds, what's the matter?"
______________________________________________________________________________

"So he was just like gone?" Dee asked me as I handed her a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, i know i shouldn't have expected him there waiting for me to wake up, I mean, he earned his money."
"Yeah, thats true but still he came in you you'd think he'd at least say, adios"
I laughed sitting next to her on the couch.
"So aside from that how was it? Did he do the deed?"
I sipped from my cup.
"I think he did. I feel different than I did this time yesterday..."
"But?"
"I dont know, I just..." I shrugged my shoulders.
"You like him dont you?" I felt my cheeks go red.
"You do? ohh my poor baby..."
"Shut up..."
"aww..." Dee said pucking her lips. "I have to pee. Wheres your charger I left mine upstairs..."
"It should be in the drawer by the bed."
Dee got up and headed towards the toilet. I laid my self out on the couch and took a deep breath.
"uhh jakey?" I heard Dee call from the bedroom.
"Yeah? Was it there?"
She came walking in the room.
"Did you know this was in the drawer?" she asked me.
I looked at her and saw, in her hand, a small roll of money wrapped in a rubber band.
"What the...Fuck, no!" I mixed up.
"do you think that he forgot it?" she asked handing it to me.
"He couldn't have he had it with him the whole time, in his wallet."
"Then how did it..." she started before a knock at the door interrupted her.
I walked over to the door with my heart pounding. I slowly turned the knob, scared to open it.
"Jacob dear! Is Diandra in here?" Dee's mom asked nicely.
"Ma! I forgot we were shopping today. Okay Jakey ill come back, were not done talking." she walked past me giving me a peck on the cheek.
"Ma I have to get my bag, upstairs."
"You dont have it with you, Diandra?" her mom hollered at her. "What if you got locked out?"
"I have my key. Ma!"
"Yeah by itself with nothin' on it, you're going to lose it and all of new york can come and go!"
I locked the door as they argued their way down the hall. I didn't know exactly what to think. Why did he leave the money behind? I'm sure ill be thinking this over for the next few hours so I started to clean.
______________________________________________________________________________

Dee and her mom still arguing were making their way to the staircase when Dee saw him walk by.
"Javi?" Dee called out. He stopped and turned.
"yeah?"
Dee walked back towards him. She looked him over and saw the bruises on his face.
"Do me a favor? If this real, take good care of him okay? He deserves more than the bad ones waste."
Javier smiled and moved his shoulders.
"I promise you. I am. I just gave up everything for him and id do it again."
Dee smiled and went back to her mom.
"Who the hell was that guy?" her mom shouted. "Another one Diandra?"
"Oh my god, Ma!"
Javie watched them and laughed to himself. When he got to Jacob's door, he took a deep breath.
"All right, Jacob, let's do this."
"Knock, knock, knock"
THE END

 

[Kyanimal]

"THE END"???

Still ... Artfully done, Jake!

I'm sure all of us can fill in "the rest", on our own levels of understanding, given all that you've provided.

THANK YOU!, for this awesome, short, Ride, Buddy!!
Chaz

 

[Craiger]

Oh...you know I'm such a romantic at heart and this tugged at those heart strings. I don't care what others say, I like happy endings. Thanks, Jake, for a charming and warming adventure.

Craiger