Let him blow me or not? (opinion needed)

[chace1617]

So here's then thing. I am 21 and never had actual sex neither with a guy or woman. When i was 14 my guy best friend asked me to blow me and i accepted it, it felt good, i wasn't sexualy attracted to him but i wanted to try it. anyway that happened a couple of times and then i told him we shouldn't do it anymore. it felt good but after cumming i always felt guilty, like what i was doing wasn't right for a reason.
anyway he had to leave abroad and then returned when we were both 18, asked me again to blow me but i denied,made it clear that we were just friends, i was waiting for ''the right guy'', now i'm 21 and haven't found the ''right guy'' yet. plus i've never done anything sexual since i was 14 and i kinda feel that it's the best age to do it but i can't find someone!

the guy who sucked me was my best friend, the only gay i knew and the only guy i could talk about gay things and have fun, when we were friends he would share his sex stories with me and i know that he would meet guys found online and go have sex with them multiple times. they were either young hot male models or 60 year old men, i was so against about what he was doing cause it was too dangerous, i mean what if one of them was a pshycopath? or what if he gets an STD? i told him once but he wouldn't listen and then i decided that it's his life and he can do anything he want.

we were staying in different cities but we would talk all day on skype etc, he was telling me he met a guy and had sex etc and one day he said that something was wrong with his penis and had to go to the hospital check it out, anyway the doctor gave him a prescription etc but he never explained what it was to me. it was kinda weird.

a year ago i realised that even though he was the only guy i could trust, i couldn't trust him anymore cause he had stolen my password and read all my emails etc i was veeery pissed cause i am a very privet person and i felt like a fool so i stopped talking to him.

we haven't talked for over a year now but we send ''happy b'day'' ''merry christmas'' etc messaged now and then...

soon he will come to live in the same city where i live and i was thinking about calling him, invite him over and hang out. i really need to have sex and i think he's is the only person i can do it with for now. still i am not sexually attracted to him but when i'm very horny and jack off sometimes i think about him blowing me and it feels good but after cumming i feel awful cause i know it's wrong!

plus i am thinking about all the guys he's been with and what if he has an STD? we haven't talked for over a year and he's in army now i have now idea about his health status...

what do you think i should do? keep waiting for the right guy or let the wrong guy blow me???

 

[barnbuddy]

no - he violated yr trust, and you have to much history

start fresh - go out and meet people!

if you don't like clubs/bars, there are

gay volleyball leagues, softball leagues...I'm sure if you look online, gay christian support groups

or bi support groups


good luck

 

[sixthson]

My guess is that if you go through with this, you will then start a thread (or multiple threads) worrying about your own health. I doubt you can handle those fears and worries well.

 

[mbamike]

You have been thinking about calling him and inviting him over to hang out. So apparently, you have forgiven him of his transgression.

You think about him when you are horny and masturbate. You two use to spend all day talking on Skype. It seems you two have great chemistry together and you are more attracted to him than you are admitting.

I think you should follow through with your original thought and invite him over to hang out. Enjoy the feeling if he gives you a blowjob. Use a condom if you decide to have sex.

 

[Swellegant]

1) You don't need to have sex. Nobody needs it. But if you want it, you should go out and get it: don't wait for Prince Charming to come to you. He never does.

2) STDs aren't that big a deal. With a few major exceptions that are fairly easy to avoid, they're no more serious than the flu.

3) If he wants more than some nonreciprocal oral sex (and most people do), letting him have a go at you will lead him on. You're not even considering reciprocating, which is fine with strangers in the park but a disrespectful dicktease with a friend.

4) You need to get out of your head. You think way too much about this stuff, and you are too ruled by fear. Being a private person and having only one friend with whom you can discuss "gay stuff" is what's keeping you out of the stream of experience. Open yourself to opportunities and stuff your fear in a little box somewhere.

 

[racer2438]

Don't have sex with him and dont get involved with him again. Trust is earned and he broke it, it will never be the same as b4 and he could end up talking to people about you. So just leave him as a friend you once had, but now is just a old friend you can not trust.

Dont be in hurry to have sex just cus ur desparate when the time is right you will know. Just need to get out and meet new peep's on your own. Has had some std of some sort so that can tell you he may being play safe and you should watch out for it..

 

[HunterM]

Come over and I'll blow ya

 

[chace1617]

Come over and I'll blow ya

sure

 

[TheOscar]

Don't do it. It seems like you want to just do it so you can release some sexual tension, but you aren't really close to him anymore. It would be a bit dumb, in my opinion.

 

[chace1617]

oh and i forgot to mention that i want to work in the acting/music industry in the future, he has already prove to me that i can't trust him, what if he out me when my carreer starts rising?

but i want to be blown, still don't know if it's a good idea...

 

[TheOscar]

Lolz, so you are suggesting that you two provide sexual pleasure to one another, so as not to him him "out" you in the future?

Just forget him. Find someone else, he's not the only gay man left; you don't need him.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I think you're being a little bit hypocritical.

You chastise him for sleeping around using/meeting guys on the internet for sex, but you basically are wanting to use him in the same way.

If he can find someone on the internet to have sex with, so can you. You clearly aren't sure if you can trust him, so go find someone anonymous for yourself to play with.

If he can do it, so can you.

I personally think you're a little bit jealous he does it without remorse, and you're too scared to.

 

[chace1617]

I think you're being a little bit hypocritical.

You chastise him for sleeping around using/meeting guys on the internet for sex, but you basically are wanting to use him in the same way.

If he can find someone on the internet to have sex with, so can you. You clearly aren't sure if you can trust him, so go find someone anonymous for yourself to play with.

If he can do it, so can you.

I personally think you're a little bit jealous he does it without remorse, and you're too scared to.

actually not. i am not jealous, i am just worried cause he does it with anonymous people, i am thinking about asking him to blow me cause i know him for years, he is not a stranger. what he does i find it dangerous. anyway i think i won't ask him anyway, it's wrong, i believe i can wait for my prince for a while...

 

[AlmondMilk]

Two words: flavored condoms.

Well, the guy's giving the bj...not the OP. The guy can just suck it then

I'd say don't, though. Yeah, you once trusted him, but what if after it happens you go back to wondering if what you did was right?

 

[Frosty]

I think you should go out and try to make more gay friends and if you like and trust one enough to let him blow you then do it. He should never be your only option.

I don't agree with the guy who said STD's aren't a big deal, THEY ARE! Just play safe and get tested once in a while and everything will be good. Never let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do or feel unsafe about. Don't worry if they get mad it's not your job to please them it's your own responsibility to take care of your own body.