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Let's write a better porn script together

"So my aunt Gladys went for her colonoscopy last week. She said she didn't see what the appeal was in having something long and hard shoved up your butt. "
 
I'd kinda like the guys to call each other by name as they get it on. They can use the nom de porn, sure.
 
Although this post above was intended to be an attempt to sneer at this poetry, the only thing it demonstrates is how much deeper and broader the imagination of the man speaking is, than the person who posted it.

I'd love to hear this guy write a porn script.
 
"I don't get that whole 'sheep' thing."
A big Scot is sitting in a bar, ranting as he downs his pints. He pounds his hand on the bar, says "You see this bar? I built this bar with me own two hands, a finer piece of work you'll newver find, but do they call me MacGregor the bar-builder? No!!" and he downs his pint and buys another.

He points out the window. "See that dock in the lake? I built that dock with me own hands, a finer piece of work you'll newver find, but do they call me MacGregor the dock-builder? No!!" and downs his pint.

He next pointed out the chair and table in the corner, the fence outside, all sorts of similar projects, and says "I built that with me own two hands, a finer piece of work you'll newver find, but do call me MacGregor the handyman? No!!"

He stares into his beer, whispers, "And you fuck one sheep."
 
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