Life is currently not good... I'm feeling so depressed

[Dominus]

*Scanning context dictionary for neutral usage of "promiscuous."

0 results found

Am I detecting self hate?

Overwhelmingly most gay men online and in real life I have talked to took pride in being promiscuous. Sex sex sex sex sex. It is not a negative thing. We have fought so hard to be free like this. It is a lifestyle. It is a choice. Go to any place with a concentrated gay population like Ft Bottomdale and talk to random gay men. 99% chance you will hear on and on how they fuck a different guy every night and proud of it.

You have to understand that it is different strokes for different folks. Not all gay dudes want no string attached sex. It is not a holier than thou thing. Not looking down on anyone. In fact, some times I envy those that can have no string attached sex without developing any feeling. I wish I could be like that. I learned from very early on not to participate in this culture because I get too clingy and would get told to fuck off the next morning.

But anyway, don't know why I'm arguing with you on this. I meant no offense. I'm sorry if you were offended by anything I say.

 

[Dominus]

You can consider yourself lucky if you haven't yet experienced the pain of those who have yearned for "deep emotional connection" beyond the [gay] picket fences picture perfect dream.

Are you talking about guys who fantasize about developing deep emotional connection in a long term relationship but can't stop picking up a different guy every night for whatever reason?

 

[rareboy]

Well, everyone has said everything that can be said about all of this.

First step.

Move on from your current bf.

Or at least move out.

Then start that part of your life over again.

Just don't look for someone who wants to be owned or that you think you want to own. Look for the person that has the same goals in life and can be an active equity partner. Make sure you have good legal advice on how to structure your business venture.

 

[belamyi]

Are you talking about guys who fantasize about developing deep emotional connection in a long term relationship but can't stop picking up a different guy every night for whatever reason?

No, I am talking about guys who every night discard different possibilities of picking a fuckner, because their socket for physical connection has grown to be too demanding, having replaced the one for emotional connection that seems way too deep, even more so for the shallow dreamers of picture-perfect partnered homelife.

 

[Alistair]

Well, everyone has said everything that can be said about all of this.

First step.

Move on from your current bf.

Or at least move out.

Then start that part of your life over again.

Just don't look for someone who wants to be owned or that you think you want to own. Look for the person that has the same goals in life and can be an active equity partner. Make sure you have good legal advice on how to structure your business venture.

All good suggestions. He also might want to do a little self-reflection and work on his ego a bit. Just be yourself, don’t try to be something you’re not, people will like you a lot more.

 

[belamyi]

^ What if being oneself means trying to be something one is not?

 

[peeonme]

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Not even my boyfriend for complicated reasons. So, you guys get to be my therapists.

You might do better to cut your self and dive in to a tank of sharks. There are some kind hearted people on this forum, but you should know from past experience that many smell blood in the waters if one dares to expose himself or admit to not eating at the cool kids table.

I would advise that you quit looking in the rear view mirror. You are where you are at, life comes in cycles. Set you sites on the future, find a goal and aim for it. Playing "should have, would have, could have" is like spinning your tires in muck.

We are a people that look for an "instant potatoes" cure... add water and heat. No, life doesn't work that way, we must dig up the potatoes, clean them, peel them, boil them, add some milk and butter and whip them up. Look forward again, press on.

 

[belamyi]

So, it is...

Life is currently not good ENOUGH

... I'm feeling so depressed BECAUSE MY LIFE IS NOT PICTURE PERFECT

 

[Charon]

Have you considered viewing life like this

instead of like this?

 

[Dominus]

You might do better to cut your self and dive in to a tank of sharks. There are some kind hearted people on this forum, but you should know from past experience that many smell blood in the waters if one dares to expose himself or admit to not eating at the cool kids table.

I understand this. Out of all the forums I have hung around over the years, this one has the most number of trolls I have ever seen. The special thing about trolls here is they are so good at acting like they are not trolls. It's entertaining to watch some time as they push people's buttons and act all innocent when confronted.

I would advise that you quit looking in the rear view mirror. You are where you are at, life comes in cycles. Set you sites on the future, find a goal and aim for it. Playing "should have, would have, could have" is like spinning your tires in muck.

My life back in Chicago was as perfect and happy as ever. And since. I can't help keep thinking back to that time when everything was right.

We are a people that look for an "instant potatoes" cure... add water and heat. No, life doesn't work that way, we must dig up the potatoes, clean them, peel them, boil them, add some milk and butter and whip them up. Look forward again, press on.

I understand that. Life isn't about instant gratification. I sold everything to achieve something more. I guess I forgot to account for the personal/relationship happiness along the way.

 

[belamyi]

Charon, Dominus is more Asian than Hispanic/Spaniard, or even Russian or Jewish.


But I do love it when you dare drop you are not good, and people royally, even happily tell you to dumb it down, and go lobotomize yourself for a while with booze, mushit, petting or whatever.

 

[belamyi]

I understand this. Out of all the forums I have hung around over the years, this one has the most number of trolls I have ever seen. The special thing about trolls here is they are so good at acting like they are not trolls. It's entertaining to watch some time as they push people's buttons and act all innocent when confronted.

Some of them may even consider that they are the first ones to have been trolled by other people's views, "problems"... and, therefore, that they are acting in some sort of self-defense.
The more honest among them merely react when they read something that pushes their buttons, and there are plenty of hands and bottoms around the world, shaped as if they were nothing like hands and buttons.

 

[pornoboy]

Life is life...

​

 

[peeonme]

I understand this. Out of all the forums I have hung around over the years, this one has the most number of trolls I have ever seen. The special thing about trolls here is they are so good at acting like they are not trolls. It's entertaining to watch some time as they push people's buttons and act all innocent when confronted.


My life back in Chicago was as perfect and happy as ever. And since. I can't help keep thinking back to that time when everything was right.

TBH, if it was that perfect you would not have left. You know that. You seem to get a certain satisfaction in kicking yourself. It's odd how we picture the past. The school(s) we attended seem so big in our memories but if we visit them we are amazed at how small they really are. Obsessing about anything blows it out of proportion. You can't unwind a clock, learn from the past, don't beat yourself up with it.

 

[belamyi]

Charon, Dominus is more Asian than Hispanic/Spaniard, or even Russian or Jewish.


But I do love it when you dare drop you are not good, and people royally, even happily tell you to dumb it down, and go lobotomize yourself for a while with booze, mushit, petting or whatever.

Oh, and then they would add: "oh, I didn't see that suicide coming; so sad...".

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Some of them may even consider that they are the first ones to have been trolled by other people's views, "problems"... and, therefore, that they are acting in some sort of self-defense.
The more honest among them merely react when they read something that pushes their buttons, and there are plenty of hands and bottoms around the world, shaped as if they were nothing like hands and buttons.

Ok when Belamo is the voice of reason in any thread, be very afraid. That was almost... poetic?

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Dominus, do what you truly believe is right, and even if you won't be happy, you will feel better.

 

[belamyi]

Dominus, do what you truly believe is right, and even if you won't be happy, you will feel better.

 

[belamyi]

Dominus, do what you truly believe is right, and even if you won't be happy, you will feel better.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

^ He wanted a cylinder exploding up his ass.