Life's tough

[belamy]

I know how hard it can be being gay ANYWHERE in the world, and it´s not like I have never had any "episodes" with people being uncomfortable with who I was (funny enough, that used to happen before I was fully sexually aware, around 12 years old), but sometimes I wish being gay in Spain IN THESE TIMES had been the biggest problem in my life.

In any case, would it be right to assume that being gay has been the toughest hurdle to overcome for JUBbers and homosexuals in general?

 

[kallipolis]

Re: Life´s tough

Is the issue about our sexual orientation, or of our lack of vision in overcoming all and every hurdle that life invites us to overcome?

In my professional and personal experience I have discovered that the problems that people create for themselves, are found where ever people choose to wallow in their problems rather than in attempting to overcome them. How did gays cope, in the bad old days of real discrimination? They learnt to cope and then use their cunning to do what all human beings must do, to enjoy the benefits of living in freedom from fear of all that we presume would intrude on our happiness.

Discrimination is a fact of life for those whose skin pigmentation, race, religion, height, weight, lack of clothes sense, eccentric mannerisms etc. does not meet the approval of those who deign to presume to judge another human being's right to live in freedom of expression of being itself.

I am sure that many homosexual people also fall within the category of presuming to discriminate against people for a variety of reasons, as already illustrated.

Should we then presume that we homosexuals are the chosen "cast outs"? Or could we be sharing our moments of discrimination, with many other members of the human family of imperfectly behaving people?

Is'nt perfection a dream?

 

[looseliam]

Being comfortable in my own skin.

Learning to walk away from the people chanting "Fuck that faggot..."

Coming out to the first person.

Learning the signals all over again.

 

[Andreus]

no

the gay part was never an issue in my life

 

[Croynan]

Re: Life´s tough

Is the issue about our sexual orientation, or of our lack of vision in overcoming all and every hurdle that life invites us to overcome?

In my professional and personal experience I have discovered that the problems that people create for themselves, are found where ever people choose to wallow in their problems rather than in attempting to overcome them. How did gays cope, in the bad old days of real discrimination? They learnt to cope and then use their cunning to do what all human beings must do, to enjoy the benefits of living in freedom from fear of all that we presume would intrude on our happiness.

Discrimination is a fact of life for those whose skin pigmentation, race, religion, height, weight, lack of clothes sense, eccentric mannerisms etc. does not meet the approval of those who deign to presume to judge another human being's right to live in freedom of expression of being itself.

I am sure that many homosexual people also fall within the category of presuming to discriminate against people for a variety of reasons, as already illustrated.

Should we then presume that we homosexuals are the chosen "cast outs"? Or could we be sharing our moments of discrimination, with many other members of the human family of imperfectly behaving people?

Is'nt perfection a dream?

I think that may possibly be considered an over-generalization of an assumption.
Along with viewing the issue(s) from some what narrowed or some what limited perspectives, with the possibility of their being a prejudical approach to what is being stated.

As for perfection (as a dream?) - one can have all the fanstasies they want, as long as they do not become hallucinations (psychiatric principle)

said comments are not meant as contradictions of what has been stated but merely given as possibly a different mind set and or perspective.


But then again what do I know?

pax

eM.

In any case, would it be right to assume that being gay has been the toughest hurdle to overcome for JUBbers and homosexuals in general? I think that given the circumstances of ones life, there may have been other hurdles - specially during childhood - that may have been far more difficult to over come then just being a homosexual. Tis a limitied view or opinion but i think on should consider. Just some more random thoughts on the issues presented.

pax again.

 

[ridge01]

the biggest concern in life is about giving and getting love from people... the state of 'we' instead of 'I'. Anything that goes against that, can be a problem, either little or big. And I think that homosexuality has been even a slight reason for less love, or miscommunication with other people... But I also think that it has brought love to us that we wouldn't have experienced... So, it would be better if we saw the advantages and not the disadvantages of a situation, and if we tried to share love under any circustanses. thank you

 

[ridge01]

Oh, and life is not tough. It is absolutely beautiful. We tend to make it tough by our choices

 

[NickCole]

No, being gay has not been the toughest hurdle. Not even close.

And yes, for some people life is very tough.

 

[metta]

It was in no way my biggest hurdle. The most difficult thing for me to deal with is the loss of family and friends. I'm horrible at dealing with death. I guess I get too emotionally attached. And I don't know if I can change that either.

Determining if I was gay or not was a process. I did not just wake up one day and go...hey...I'm gay. It was a little shocking at first when I figured it out. As a child, I just assumed that I would be attracted to women just like "everyone else." I don't even know if I knew what a homosexual was as a young child. I led a pretty protective childhood. Once I figured it out, I accepted it. It did take me a little while to not feel "shame" because of it. I think that reading the book "Coming out of Shame" helped me with that though.

What still angers me about the homosexual issue is how the general population, according to the voting results in the US, in society reacts to it. It is so ignorant. I wish that people would just snap out of it.

It makes me think that, in many cases, what some people say in public and what they really feel are two entirely different things.

 

[1st love ron]

Yes, absolutely it is my biggest hurdle. My life would have been so much easier had I been straight. Gays are simply not accepted in our society (U.S.).

 

[Theyoungman]

Life is tough because humans made it that way... Anything man made is never perfect.

 

[Nonimus]

Hmm - I guess it really, really depends on the culture you live in.

I grew up in rural (seriously) Denmark, I've always played team sports etc, been 'one of the guys' in a little area with 4-5 villages where everyone knows everyone and still I have never heard anyone say anything ugly about me being gay. It has happened once - this friend of a friend of a friend approached one of my friends in a club in a nearby town, saying that he thought it was pretty weird and nasty that I was gay, as someone had just told him. My friend (love him to death ) responded by placing his fist in this guy's face. And since then, I've never heard of anyone saying anything.

Since moving to Copenhagen, being gay has obviously not been a problem - not even when coming back for family reunions (my family is pretty diverse, let's put it like that) - I once received a call from my alcoholic aunt saying that "next time, bring your boyfriend" after a family party. Clearly she wasn't aware that I wasn't in possession of a such, but still - it was really a nice thought.


What I have experienced, though, is to be hassled in Australia. Apparently shouting "poofters" after two guys in a Mercedes is completely fair game, even in Sydney. Weird.

However - I really dread hearing the stories some of you guys can tell. I cannot believe how we, in 2006, still can get harassed over things of which we have absolutely no control. It's not as if gay people chose to be this way. And look at the bright side: I know that some of my inner strenght comes from the fact that I had to make some important, life-changing decisions early in my life. As have a lot of you guys.

Hugs for everyone -

SCG

That makes total sense to me.

If only ScandinavianGuy_1 had as much sense....

 

[BrandonSBCA]

Life is tough, at one point being gay was a hurdle in my life that I couldn't seem to jump over and when I was finally strong enough I was able to jump over it. I know there are more hurdles to get over in the next couple of years, but I think the biggest one was me being gay.

 

[sparky95]

Being gay has never really been a difficult hurdle for me, but other people have had problems with my sexuality, unfortunatly! Australians can be quite homophobic at times.......

 

[cocktales]

Boy oh boy......

My situation in main-stream American society was perhaps the worst experience yet for a Gay man to endure.....

Drafted into the Army (but agreed to enter U.S. Air Force instead), hiding my existence of being Gay; otherwise, expelled as an undesirable or worse yet, dis-honorable discharge (the kiss of death to seek employment afterwards)....!!!

I had NO desire to enter the military....my desire was to teach secondary ed classes for a couple of years, enter law school and get a degree and practice corporate law...............NOT!

However, after over-coming the worst of it, being dragged into the military and finding the travel of the world exciting, I decided upon a life-time commitment to the Air Force...

So, I'm sure you all are wondering why........why did you decide to stay in and be a "life-er"???

Well, once you get the "I-Led-Two-Lives" committed to memory, I found that I was very, very good at lieing about who/what I was; plus, I really did enjoy my job and going all over the world!

In the military, I discovered a world that exists; hidden from the main-stream by lies and deciet......

If you could hide under scruitity of the AFOSI(Air Force Office of Special Investigation) and with-stand their heavy-handed questioning and low-life ways of finding you out........then, you arrived as a military Gay man who could stay in for 20+ years and retire......and then assume/resume my normal-gay-life(existence)....

Sorry to go on-and-on; but those of us who stayed in the military to retirement, we had this well-hidden group of members who protected one another, looking out for one another's back so that when ever we detected "any" thoughts of harm coming to our group, we went into the self-defense mode of survival to protect each other's "gayness" by lieing to the end about knowing of any Gay people in the military.......even if we were discovered and...........God forbid.......we were caught by the web of the under-handed tactics of the "Witch-Hunters'.......vowing NOT to expose the names of other Gay men in the military....(Often the AFOSI would "promise" to go lightly on you....provided you name ALL known gay people to you)!!

Our group totally infiltrated the upper echelons of the military as well as the bottom airmen; therefore, we knew when the "witch-hunts" were on and we alerted our "Band of Gay Brothers" who took measures to protect our/their identity, etc...

I think, NO I know that the "witch-hunters" became very frustrated when they lacked large numbers of "kills" (known gay men in the military)......dumb bastards! lol

At first this life was excitingly stressful; but after awhile you became very proficient at hiding your true-self and it became a second-nature device of survival....

Even today, I would NEVER divulge the network we Gay military people maintained....

This way of living was the "only" way I could have stayed in the military over 20 years and kept my sanity....

Sorry that I took so long to explain.........a little.......of what my military life was all about.....

***Those of you who are still on Active Duty, please continue to remain true to your gay counter-parts!