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Little sister's (male) friend wants to visit?

It's not that some think anything will happen.

It's that some think others will think something happened.

Hell, just the parents mentioning to the police that their son spent the weekend with a 21 year old gay college boy, could land you a few hours at the police station.
 
looseliam said:
It's not that some think anything will happen.

It's that some think others will think something happened.

Hell, just the parents mentioning to the police that their son spent the weekend with a 21 year old gay college boy, could land you a few hours at the police station.
Click to expand...


But something very easily could happen. And I'm not talking about sex.

Even putting aside homosexuality, a 15 year old travelling from his home, when his parents are away and without their knowledge or permission, to stay a weekend with a 21 year old and his roommates is a plan that's asking for trouble.

Even if everybody is totally responsible (which is assuming a lot of a 15 year old and 21 year old roommates in college) there could be an accident or the kid could be randomly attacked or get sick. Stuff happens. Anything that harmed the kid in any way could make Adam vulnerable to the kid's parents. And that's not even getting into the gay element and all that could unleash.

All he has to do to protect himself is inform the parents. And frankly, that's the right thing to do anyway.
 
oww! how nice! you guys have fun, ne?
khehe ^^ it's good to see you decided to spend some time with him!
he obviously needed that!
it's great you're there for him! (*8*)

hmm... i'm a bit disturbed about all the really weird posts here though.. keh, people came up with the weirdest of scenario's, some of you are fit to become science fiction writers! keh, sow much paranoia, it's amazing how some of you don't split down the middle!
 
Well nijuusei, it is a whole generation of under 25's that have made many people much more wary of what they do with underage kids. When I was 25, it was unheard of that teachers, priests, caregivers, family members, friends and damn near anyone and everyone could be brought up on charges, real or imagined. Not anymore.

What many of us were trying to impress on Adam and on others like you, is the need to think about consequences. I'll bet if Adam were 35 and the kid was only 15, you'd think about it a bit more carefully. Well guess what sweetheart, 19 is the new 35....adult is adult.

So what if nothing happened. What happens if one of the fucked up parents gets it in their head that something did and to get back at the other one in a divorce proceeding, they decide to drag everyone through it. Doesn't happen? Only all the time.

It isn't science fiction, its just the way the world looks now.
 
rareboy said:
It isn't science fiction, its just the way the world looks now.
Click to expand...

i knew someone would be saying that

the world is what you make of it
let us start with a universal law; violence only breeds more violence, it can only be conquered by love.

i feel that allot of people here wrote the things they did, not because they think it's wrong for a 21 year old to be friends with a 15 year old, ages should never matter in friendship, but because they are afraid of the many possible consequences.
thus, their actions are guided by their fear,
following our universal law, fear will never result in anything positive, it only breeds more negativity.
the thing that created the fear still exist, even if you avoid those consequences,
nothing will have been changed..
sow i think, a more durable solution to the problem is necessary,
this atmosphere which currently exists, it can never be broken by anything negative - for it is negative itself,
i believe the only way to overcome these modern day problems is through loving kindness, honesty, sincerity;
only with light, can you cast away the shadow.
 
nijuusei said:
i knew someone would be saying that

the world is what you make of it
let us start with a universal law; violence only breeds more violence, it can only be conquered by love.

i feel that allot of people here wrote the things they did, not because they think it's wrong for a 21 year old to be friends with a 15 year old, ages should never matter in friendship, but because they are afraid of the many possible consequences.
thus, their actions are guided by their fear,
following our universal law, fear will never result in anything positive, it only breeds more negativity.
the thing that created the fear still exist, even if you avoid those consequences,
nothing will have been changed..
sow i think, a more durable solution to the problem is necessary,
this atmosphere which currently exists, it can never be broken by anything negative - for it is negative itself,
i believe the only way to overcome these modern day problems is through loving kindness, honesty, sincerity;
only with light, can you cast away the shadow.
Click to expand...

OKEY DOKEY..........
 
Honestly... This sends up a RED FLAG to me.

WHat do 15 year olds and 21 year olds have in common.

Nothing !

Stay away from the kid. Just talk to him and give him advice. He needs to get out and make friends his own Age. If he can't do that he needs to seek help and you need to inform his parents that he's depressed.

Does his parents know your talking to him ?
Does you lil sister know your talking to him ?
Why are you talking to a 15 year old online ?
And what are you talking about ?
 
OptimalOptimus said:
Honestly... This sends up a RED FLAG to me.

WHat do 15 year olds and 21 year olds have in common.

Nothing !

Stay away from the kid. Just talk to him and give him advice. He needs to get out and make friends his own Age. If he can't do that he needs to seek help and you need to inform his parents that he's depressed.

Does his parents know your talking to him ?
Does you lil sister know your talking to him ?
Why are you talking to a 15 year old online ?
And what are you talking about ?
Click to expand...

Um you can find all the answers to your questions by reading this entire thread.
 
Happy Easter / Update:

So he left about 30 minutes ago. The agreement with his parents was that he would come home early so they could celebrate Easter together, as his parents decided to come home earlier than planned.

Anyway... everything went great!!! He slept on the couch both nights and it was totally fine. Actually 2 of my roommates decided to go out of town for the weekend, which made everything a LOT easier. You guys have no idea how glad I am he came here. We talked about everything under the sun, and I told him about how I used to be in his shoes and that I can totally relate to what he's going through now. I swear to god, this kid just needed someone to TALK to, and I'm so glad I was able to give him a new perspective.

Last night was the best through. We hung out with my friend Mike and his boyfriend and other friends. Eventually as the night went on, everyone left and it was just the 4 of us sitting around. This was really the first time the kid started becoming comfortable enough to let loose a little bit. Both Mike and his boyfriend talked really openly about how depressed they were in high school but how truly happy they are now. I gave the kid so many "high school doesn't mean anything!" speeches this weekend, I think I sounded like a broken record. Nonetheless, I think he REALLY needed to hear that from someone, especially a gay guy.

The ONLY weird thing that happened was last night at about 3 in the morning, he randomly came in my room and sat on my bed for like 5 minutes (I pretended like I was asleep), but then he just left............ Pretty weird, but I didn't even acknowledge it this morning.

And one more thing I want to share with you guys.... he left a note on my desk this morning and I wanted to show you a part of it:

"and Adam I realize I’m a huge loser in your eyes and I know that your like "wow what a little dork" but I just really wanted to tell you how much this weekend meant to me. thank you so much. I mean just for talking to me and being so nice. You’ll probably never know how much it meant to me. I feel like my life changed drastically this weekend as dumb as that sounds. And it’s b/c of you. and I’m not gonna start stalking you or anything (I swear), but I just needed to tell you that, b.c you’re just amazing. so I guess I just want to thank you. I can’t even put into words what you did for me…"

So anywayyyy, I'd say it was a complete success and went even better than I expected in all honesty.

I told you I could handle it!!!!

Oh and Happy Easter everyone.(*8*)
 
Wow that is great. As you said it couldn't have gone better. If I had a hat I would take it off to you. It's a shame more school kids don't have someone like you they can talk to. The main reason for this is , I guess, all the warning posts above. But I think you handled it great and am glad you or he did seek his parents permission.

You have obviously made a big difference to him. Well done (*8*)
 
Thank you for involving the parents. It may end up being a positive experience for everyone. The 3 a.m. visit was probably a bit of a close call, but you probably heard all of us howling in your ear while playing possum. I think that you are almost ready to open up your own teen crisis/day care centre.
 
Adam2299 said:
The ONLY weird thing that happened was last night at about 3 in the morning, he randomly came in my room and sat on my bed for like 5 minutes (I pretended like I was asleep), but then he just left............ Pretty weird, but I didn't even acknowledge it this morning.
Click to expand...

Aww, I know exactly what he was thinking. :( Poor kid.


Well I'm glad everything went very well, Adam! You've made a tremendous difference in his life and he will always revere you for it. I'm sure he will be looking forward to hanging out with you again. I'm glad you involved the parents (seeing as how they planned for Easter anyway) to cover your bases. ..|

Have a Happy Easter.
 
See. A gay 21 year old can be trusted with a 15 year old. Why do you guys trust us a little more?

I'm glad that everything turned out well. Happy Easter!
 
Good news Adam. Thanks from us and the kid for playing possum.. I do know what he was thinking, because you were so nice to him.
 
See. A gay 21 year old can be trusted with a 15 year old. Why do you guys trust us a little more?
Click to expand...

Coleman:

I don't think you got the point of many of the posts. It wasn't that we didn't absolutely trust Adam from 50%-110%, many were concerned about the risk presented by not having the parents of a minor aware of what was being proposed for the weekend and concerns about whether the 15 year old could be trusted. (see ref to 3am visit to Adam's bed).

Adam took the well meant advice, made sure everything was cool with the parentals, didn't let the kid seduce him and has made a difference. He has demonstrated that he is trustworthy. Does that mean it applies to every 21 year old. Not a chance.
 
I am so happy to see that you where able to help him out so much. Sometimes it just takes someone you can talk to and trust to help with the difficult times. I also agree that it was wonderful and wise of you to talk to his parents first. Now it will be easier for him to come visit you and be free to be himself. You are a nice friend indeed.
 
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