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long distance dillema

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FangBanger09

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so theres this guy that ive been talking to who i really like and he really likes me too but he doesnt wanna get attached. his only other two relationships were long distance and one of them ended up cheating on him. since im supposed to move out of state for school next year, hes convinced it will be like the other times. i really dont want this one to get away but i just dont know what to say to him to convince him id make it work... even if that means doing online classes
 
Have you fucked yet? Was it earth shattering? Have you told each other that you love one another? Do you spend 24/7 together? And can't imagine life without him?

If you aren't able to answer yes to these questions, then I can't imagine sacrificing a good education for some guy that apparently doesn't want to risk anything. Stay good friends but move on. Because if he was worth it, he'd be telling you the same thing.
 
No you can't. You weren't accepted everywhere.

If you give up school to chase a guy, well, that pretty much says it all.

If you're both really committed then you can both go to school and have him. If he doesn't want you to give up school and doesn't want to be committed while you're away, then perhaps you should focus on the ramifications of that before you do anything drastic.
 
well the school i had planned on going to offers online courses anyway
 
Which is so totally not the point.
 
im not doin anything drastic... im the one who wants to see how things go before i decide where to go to school. hes convinced that itll turn out like last time though bc when he went to visit his last bf, he caught him cheating
 
which btw i didnt ask whether or not i should go to school... i asked how do i assure him it wont end up like last time?
 
Don't cheat. But you can't force him into a relationship he doesn't want, and I repeat, if he doesn't want to commit, and wants you to go off to school, what does that tell you?
 
The answer is, you show him you love him now. You live in the present. Next year is next year. Don't pressure him about the future,cross that bridge when you get there.

Build your relationship now and when it's time to depart ask him then. If he feels the same it will work out.
 
i just spent the nite with him... we didnt talk about it bc he had such a long day and almost immediately went to sleep but we are thinking about goin on a trip together in a few weeks.
 
Why do you need to talk about it, so you can scare him away?
 
at the moment, i dont care... im just gonna enjoy bein with him and let whatever happens happen
 
FangBanger09 said:
which btw i didnt ask whether or not i should go to school... i asked how do i assure him it wont end up like last time?
Click to expand...

I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships when a person is young. Not enough life experience to make it work and it becomes a "do or die" situation, almost always with disastrous results.

I also think following someone for love when you are young reeks of desperation, especially when the person you want to follow isn't encouraging it.

People will always come up with reasons to not have a relationship instead of the truth. The truth, in many cases, is that a person just doesn't want to put in the amount of effort to make a relationship work.

"If things were different..."

Make the choices for your life based on what you want out of life long term, not what you want or who you want right now. You'll be much happier in ten years.
 
This isn't the guy that beat the prison rap is it?
 
no... that dumb fuck only wanted to get into my pants... hes in another relationship now and still trying to get into my pants... and im pretty sure hes got HIV now.
 
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