[long] I've fucked up and made a REALLY huge mistake

[gameboy 11]

Yeah. You messed up, sailing into deadly territory. You can get tested tomorrow, and the results will be known within a week. They test for chlamydia, syphilis AIDS and gonorrhea.

 

[Ninja108]

yes you messed up, espcially with no condom. I pray for your sake that you won't get any diseases. as for A, he's a prick, don't waste any time worrying about him

 

[Oden_grey]

What you did, IMHO, was reprehensible on every level, but the ease in which A was seduced only shows that you will not be his last "toy".

However, despite my personal objections to such behavior, I'll be the last person in the world to tell you to stop. There is no such thing as morality, discipline, or honour among gays... just enjoyment of all the vices our pleasurable world has to offer. Love, for our kind is just a simple, desperate emotional attachment to someone... for fear of living and dying alone. This is probably true for many straights who marry on desperation and divorce on a whim.

By all means continue what you are doing and continue to seek pleasure in all its forms because life is short... and an upright, moral life is just simply boring and meaningless to people such as yourself and A. Leave morality to those who strong willed enough to bear it and don't cry over spilled milk.

 

[Matt-T]

It seems that he already got over the guilty feeling. He might want to do it again...

What are you planning to do???

Well, we texted each other all morning. He told me that he would like to do it again but could never cheat on B again, because he still felt guilty. I told him I would like to do it again too but only if things didn't end up working out between he and B in the future, and that I felt terrible about putting sex ahead of he and B. Am I a bad person for still wanting to be with him?

But as a few others have said, it's time to accept what happened, learn from it, and move on. You can make a promise to yourself to never pull a stunt like that again.

No matter how tempting it may be.

As time progresses, you will get over this completely...but for now, as I said...your conscience will be beating you up pretty badly. It's to be expected, when you actually have some morals.




Get some sleep...and don't let it continue to bother you. You're human. You made a big mistake. But sometimes, we all do.

Thanks so much! I'm feeling a bit better now.

Yeah. You messed up, sailing into deadly territory. You can get tested tomorrow, and the results will be known within a week. They test for chlamydia, syphilis AIDS and gonorrhea.

Can a test this early really pick up other STDs?

 

[silentalk]

I doubted this at first, but I'm convinced now that A is an A** Ho** (sorry, but I don't swear)

This really pisses me off! How can he say that he wanted to do it again?????

You're a grownup Matt, you don't need us guys to make choices for you. Do what you think is right. The relatioship between A and B is already ruined! Good luck!

As for...

However, despite my personal objections to such behavior, I'll be the last person in the world to tell you to stop. There is no such thing as morality, discipline, or honour among gays... just enjoyment of all the vices our pleasurable world has to offer. Love, for our kind is just a simple, desperate emotional attachment to someone... for fear of living and dying alone.

I would COMPLETELY disagree, but that's just me. I can control my animal instincts. I have emotions... very deep, solid emotions, and that's what make's me a human.

No offense, but I think you haven't trulely fallen in love, otherwise you'd have known that you can't compare true love with lust!

 

[Matt-T]

This really pisses me off! How can he say that he wanted to do it again?????

I think he means he wants to if things don't work out between he and B. And I disagree with Oden_grey too.

 

[silentalk]

I think he means he wants to if things don't work out between he and B. And I disagree with Oden_grey too.

It's great to hear that you disagree Matt at least someone is in for the emotions...

And regardless of what A meant, he cannot think that if he truely loved B; he wouldn't say such thing if he truely felt guilty. He might even ignored your messages. You read what the guys wrote; when they knew their boyfriends had affairs, it was farewell without smiling!

Put yourself in A's shoes. If you had a boyfriend that you dearly, truely, absolutely loved from the deepest part of your soul, and you cheated on him, would you say that you'd like to meet with the guy you had sex with, cheating on your boyfriend, again... regardless of what you meant??? Would you say that it was fun??

I realize we've been a bit tough on you Matt, but I guess we relate deeply to the situation, and we'd hate to be in the same situation.

 

[bluedragon4]

Don't feel bad!! You're young and learning. I have so been there. And damn did your story give me a boner! Very hot!!! Hopefully A can keep it to himself and not be guilty. A one time thing happens but don't start an actual affair!!! If my bf ever cheated I could forgive a one time slip up but if he was seeing someone on the side than I would be so pissed! But you are one hot number!! Doing it bareback for your 1st time and not cumming the minute the guy went down on you. Usually virgins blow in 2 seconds during there 1st blowjob!! very nice.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Well "A" isn't good boyfriend material to begin with.

If he'll cheat on "B" to have sex with you, then he'll damn sure do the same thing to you when someone new comes along.

As for you and "A" you don't really even know each other.

I'd move along, and leave A to find someone else to fool around with.

Hopefully this is his only indiscretion, and he and B can go on being happy with each other.

You'll end up coming between them just by being anywhere near them.

If you want to do the right things, I'd leave these two guys alone.

You deserve a boyfriend of your own, not someone elses.

 

[Matt-T]

as if you lost your virginity in the back of a car in a cheap ten minute fuck.

Why would I lie?

Put yourself in A's shoes. If you had a boyfriend that you dearly, truely, absolutely loved from the deepest part of your soul, and you cheated on him, would you say that you'd like to meet with the guy you had sex with, cheating on your boyfriend, again... regardless of what you meant??? Would you say that it was fun??

You're absolutely right. The next time I talk to A, I'll tell him it all stops now. Actually, I'll avoid him afterwards. B is the victim in all of this, after all.

If you want to do the right things, I'd leave these two guys alone.

You deserve a boyfriend of your own, not someone elses.

Thanks.

 

[Matt-T]

no im not saying you lied, but i think its just a tacky way to lose your viriginity. ive had sex in cars, but my first time was in a bed, and lasted longer then 10 mins.... and the guy actually cared about me.

I'm not proud of it. If I could undo it I would. But I got caught up in the moment and (obviously) wasn't thinking right at the time.

 

[silentalk]

a wise choice

And good luck!

 

[Matt-T]

Thanks a lot for your support and advice everybody! I don't know what I would have done without you guys.

 

[Matt-T]

Last update: everything's over.

He ended up telling his boyfriend about everything. It happened while I was at their place (I stayed the night with some friends and some of his family, it was their last night in their current house before moving to the city). I was asleep when he told B and didn't find out until the next morning. B said nothing to me, and completely ignored me all day (fair enough I guess, I was expecting him to hit the roof).

A sent me a text message a few hours ago. He and B talked about it for hours on the drive to the city and - personally I find this bizarre - A asked B to marry him, and B said yes. They've been together about 4 or 5 months, and just had a discussion about A cheating on B, and yet they're getting married.

Basically, any feelings I had left for A have been erased - this is clearly a complicated and strange relationship between A and B. So far it seems me and A are still friends (although B still isn't talking to me), but after all this, I've got zero interest in anything more with either of them.

And although I still feel guilty about everything, having everything out in the open has come as a relief - we're not hiding anything anymore - and I can move on and get over it. Thanks again for your support and advice everybody.

 

[bluedragon4]

LOL. There getting married! what a joke! How immature is that! They obviously know shit about what a relationship is and how it works. People fuck up I get that and understand that. But after 4 or 5 months he cheated than something is really wrong. Than asking his bf to marry him not to lose him is almost worse. Forget up that mess. You were the single one. The guy could have said no.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I felt very dirty after reading your story. It was so wrong what happened. At first I thought A was the manipulative one, but like they say, it takes two to tango. I hope you come out negative for any STD's.

I'm glad you broke it off. I don't feel very sorry for B, however. The fact that he is "marrying" A after all this shows a pathetic weakness on his part. Their relationship is doomed. Doomed.

 

[HazieDays]

It's rather odd and not the least bit disturbing that B would accept that proposal after all of this, it makes me wonder if A pinned all the blame on you when he had his little talk with B. . .

 

[G-Lexington]

Matt, you say that A told B. But all you have is A's word for that. And B's behavior following - avoiding you, but agreeting to marry A (assuming that part is true as well) - seems not to back that up. If anything, he got a massively distorted version of the truth. For all you know, A said, "For the last several days, every time I see Matt, he keeps trying to get into my pants. I've been rejecting his advances, but I just don't know what to do about him anymore."

...nah, he wouldn't do that, would he?

Lex

 

[natedogg323]

Last update: everything's over.

He ended up telling his boyfriend about everything. It happened while I was at their place (I stayed the night with some friends and some of his family, it was their last night in their current house before moving to the city). I was asleep when he told B and didn't find out until the next morning. B said nothing to me, and completely ignored me all day (fair enough I guess, I was expecting him to hit the roof).

A sent me a text message a few hours ago. He and B talked about it for hours on the drive to the city and - personally I find this bizarre - A asked B to marry him, and B said yes. They've been together about 4 or 5 months, and just had a discussion about A cheating on B, and yet they're getting married.

Basically, any feelings I had left for A have been erased - this is clearly a complicated and strange relationship between A and B. So far it seems me and A are still friends (although B still isn't talking to me), but after all this, I've got zero interest in anything more with either of them.

And although I still feel guilty about everything, having everything out in the open has come as a relief - we're not hiding anything anymore - and I can move on and get over it. Thanks again for your support and advice everybody.

Hey Matt T....

I just stumbled across this thread and wanted to offer some words of encouragement.

Since this was your first time with anyone and it was kind of a disaster, I want you to know that your not a bad person and you should in NO WAY hate yourself. I have never in my life defended a person that cheats. In fact I've been kinda harsh to people on this site that have had sex with people in relationships. This is officially the first time I've been on the co- cheaters defense.

A took advantage of you. He initiated the contact with you on the couch. He initiated the short bj in the kitchen. Knowing that you have never done anything before he knew you were vulnerable. By the time you guys got alone in the car your hormones and emotions where all twisted and raging.

You know your actions were wrong and things you did and said were suspect. But I don't blame you. I think A has done this before and I'm sooo happy to hear that you are no longer going to associate yourself with A or B.

Chalk this up to a learning experience and never EVER forget what happened and how bad you felt. This will make you a stronger human being and more responsible in the future, IF you learn from it.

Sorry for being so long.

 

[silentalk]

Last update: everything's over.

He ended up telling his boyfriend about everything. It happened while I was at their place (I stayed the night with some friends and some of his family, it was their last night in their current house before moving to the city). I was asleep when he told B and didn't find out until the next morning. B said nothing to me, and completely ignored me all day (fair enough I guess, I was expecting him to hit the roof).

A sent me a text message a few hours ago. He and B talked about it for hours on the drive to the city and - personally I find this bizarre - A asked B to marry him, and B said yes. They've been together about 4 or 5 months, and just had a discussion about A cheating on B, and yet they're getting married.

Basically, any feelings I had left for A have been erased - this is clearly a complicated and strange relationship between A and B. So far it seems me and A are still friends (although B still isn't talking to me), but after all this, I've got zero interest in anything more with either of them.

And although I still feel guilty about everything, having everything out in the open has come as a relief - we're not hiding anything anymore - and I can move on and get over it. Thanks again for your support and advice everybody.

For some reason, I feel relieved, as though I was in your place. But I can't understand B. As you said, this is bizarre.

Thank God it's all over!