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Lookin4sum1icantrust - Archived Blog Post

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I was so stupid, because I was on Netflix and I was watching movies online and come to find out they track your movies. My mom was on Netflix last night, and the freaking movies I watch popped up on the screen to be rated. I didn't know they tracked the movies you watch online, so my mom started talking to me about what was I watching, and all this other stuff. I was like damn now I have to tell. My family is southern baptist so, I was kinda worried what the outcome was going to be. So I told her that I was bi, and she was really kinda layed back about it. She is just worried that my soul might be lost, and scared I might get some disease, and she said she is going to praying about it. She isn't anti-gay, she just didn't want her son to be dealing with problems that can happen (like hate crimes & etc). She still loves me, and i'm glad of that. She said she won't tell anyone, but we will see how this turns out! I also told her that some of my friends know. I told one friend, and he told some of my other friends, but they are cool with it. I think the reason why she didn't act so bad about it because, we have always been close. :-)

You know what, mothers know their sons. lol When I told her she said that she kinda knew before hand, but didn't say anything about it. What really pissed me off was when she told me that some of her fucking family members told her when I was younger I might turn out this way. I was like WTF!!!
 
I have had nothing but, bad things happen to me every since early 2007. It seems before I turned eighteen I have had bad luck every year it seems. Now I have like new things destroying my life every year.

First it was my job before I turned eighteen. Now after I turned eighteen still things messing up my life. I got a ticket last year, and it was a bad decision I did on that. I was driving 92 in a 55 on the highway.

Now of 2008 the fucking sign says 65 and I got my license suspended. I never got any letter in the mail saying this, and I got a ticket last Sunday about my license being suspended, and I hate the fucking county I live in they are so fucking stupid here it’s ridicules. My life seems to be going down hill so much. I’m so depressed, and my migraines keep coming almost every day. I feel like just exploding.

Now I have to look for a lawyer to see if they can drop this charge, and I get my licenses back, I need them back because I have school, friends, and task that need a vehicle to handle. I need some support, and prayers on this problem I’m having. I hope when ever I get back on my feet, I want to move far away from fucking NORTH CAROLINA.

I want to start somewhere new, and never deal with any stress anymore. I have learned my lesson, it almost been a year since I learned my lesson.
 
OMG, as of January of 2010 I'm so excited to announced I joined the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). I hope to stand for equality in the GLBT! I want to help people, and volunteer for our community.
 
OMG! My Valentine' s Day Sucked!!!! lol When I got to work it was hell on wheels all day! Next, I found out I failed my midterms for school, and on top of it all I didn't have a Valentine to spend with so that also made me even more down, and depressed for the day! My friends took me to Valentine's Day the movie last night to make me feel better though which, some what did!
 
I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm really thinking about moving to an area that is more gay friendly, and more gay people! I'm so annoyed that I can't find a true guy! I'm truly hating North Carolina more and more!
 
I am so sad! I had my first car accident. I was coming into Wal-Mart's parking lot, and some teenage bitch side swiped my front end of my car coming across the parking lot. The bitch was on her cell phone. I can't sleep at all, cause I really feel bad for my poor car. Now it has to go to auto body shop, and I did so much to the car. It is all ruined due to a fucking 16 yr old girl, who should not be on the road in the first place.
 
Interracial dating is one hard fucking thing to do, where I live. I have attempted to talk to white dudes, but they turn me down, cause they only date their same race. It is so fucked up! I wish guys were more open-minded where I live, and not look at race as some kind of issues. I really can't wait to move out of state, and go some where that gay people are more out there, and not care about race, and does do the interracial thing. I want a relationship, and not a hook-up, because they are two different things.
 
I'm going 2 change my appearance for 2011! I'm going for a new look, and really don't know what I wanna try out.

I'm thinking a Darker look: I'm stuck between EMO, Rocker/Punkish, or Skater look!

I haven't had much fun dating last year with guys, cause they always got some shit up in the air, and i'm trying to go for a I don't give a fuck look.

I'm really going 2 start not giving a shit what people think, because people will always say or hate something about you.

2011 will be my independent year of not giving a fuck about a dude!
 
It's crazy how you hit it off with a lot of these guys, and you have plenty of common interest, and once they ask you for a pic, or your stats they stop talking to you.........SMH.......They all look at your color of your skin, and freak out. So tired of seeing the race card issue come up in my area.....Totally sucks! Idk, why guys see color, it should be just black and white and seeing beyond skin colors......So tired of the bull shit.........
 
I'm going to try and be back on this site more! totally miss it! Need to read more stories, and issues ppl have. It's crazy how people are in the world, and don't consider others. The things I been through lately........
 
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