Lost here and need help please

[christoforomarz]

Hello all,
My name is Chris some of you might remember me from my previous posts, for those who don't I am from Jordan and I live in a very conservative community. I have had a billion crushes over the years but now it is official.
I am in love with my friend, I know that I am in love because I can't stop thinking of him, I think he is gay but I am not sure. He is 4 years younger than me and he is smoking hot. I have known him for 10 years now, I spend so much time at his place " in Jordan we all live with our parents until we get married". Okay first of all I think he has a crush on one of our friends who is defiantly straight. How do I know? because he always pretends to hate hugging and kissing but when this guy is around he is all over him. Plus he sometimes shows interest in good looking guys. I am still in the closet and never showed any signs that I am gay. I need to know if he is gay as well because honestly this could change my life.
Please advise
Thanks

 

[HunterM]

Welcome to JUB Chris,
Just ask him, "Are you attracted to hot guys? Yeah, me too. Don't worry; just keep this as our secret."

You need to let him know that it's OK...and it is SAFE for him to acknowledge his feelings to you. Let him know there is no judgment from you. But YOU have to set an example for him to follow.

PS. I've always wanted to visit Petra in Jordan.

 

[Kyanimal]

If He's all over your mutual straight friend, maybe copy His actions with You doing the same with Him?

Just a thought!

In all cases ... and No Matter What ...

Keep Smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[AstareGod]

Dejavudoo identified the same bit of caution I saw - you have feelings for him, but he may not have feelings for you. It's an unfortunate risk everyone has to take. He may not return your feelings of affection. You have to be ready to accept that if that may be the case. I don't know if it would be worth risking a 10 year old friendship, but perhaps the two of you are so close that you feel you can open up about your feelings to him. Just be prepared for him to not return them.

Best of luck!

 

[bruce379]

There are a lot of gay men in the Middle East who are in denial. Afghans would fuck other guys and never think it was gay - I don't know what their twisted logic is, but whatever...

My best advice would be to go to Tel Aviv and contact a gay Arab or Israeli in one of the gay bars there and try to bring your 'straight' friend and have the bait figure him out then you can both come out and have a threesome in the gay clubs somewhere in Tel Aviv. Or go to Europe and do the same thing. Use a third good looking guy as a 'bait' to find out if your friend is gay. I know it's fucked up but I don't trust doing it in Jordan.

 

[lambdaboy]

Having been to many Islamic Countries, over the last 5 years for work I think you bet be careful....

 

[christoforomarz]

Thanks a lot guys for the replies
Well Kyanimal the biggest problem is that he acts homophobic around me which pisses me off and this means I can't be all over him
Guys I am fine with the idea of him not liking me I have been over so many crushes in my life and this will not be the last I just need to know if he is gay or not I can still have him as by gay best friend
Please give me suggestions on how can I know and if you have any suggestions on how to see him naked that would be highly appreciated too
Thanks again

 

[bruce379]

Thanks a lot guys for the replies
Well Kyanimal the biggest problem is that he acts homophobic around me which pisses me off and this means I can't be all over him
Guys I am fine with the idea of him not liking me I have been over so many crushes in my life and this will not be the last I just need to know if he is gay or not I can still have him as by gay best friend
Please give me suggestions on how can I know and if you have any suggestions on how to see him naked that would be highly appreciated too
Thanks again

move to a non-islamic country. go to tel aviv

 

[Rolyo85]

I don't know what to tell you about finding out your friend's sexuality. It really doesn't matter though, does it? If he acts homophobic, then he is so far into the closet that any attempt to pull him out would result in a destruction of your friendship.

I can tell you how to get over your crush though. Don't call it love. Not to other people (us), and not to yourself. It's not love. Love is a relationship, it is not a one-person emotion. Love is something you build together with someone who means a lot to you, and for whom YOU mean a lot. What you have, is a simple crush, regardless of how strong. And not putting things in such dramatic terms in your head will help you get over it faster.

 

[Seasoned]

In order to live the life that will be the mist fulfilling for you you'll be better served by doing what you need to do independent of anyone else. The main purpose of a crush is getting us to see and be comfortable with our orientation. This isn't about him being hot or getting him naked; this is about you finding ways to be yourself and fulfilled in your Islamic environment.