Two days ago i said the worst thing a friend could say to another friend.He wont pick up my calls he doesnt answer back i went to his job and he ignored me.The past few days i've been an emotional wreck because i need to either have closure or fix this problem.What can you do in this situation to make all the pain go away i tried gettng fucked up but it aint work.I tried not thinking about him.But i feel like i lost my brother what is the last resort to mend a close relationship.How can you let the other person know that from the bottom of your heart you are sorry, when they wont even acknowledge your presense.Ive called him about 100 times sent him 100 messages no answer nothing .
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lost my best friend
- Thread starter Gooey45
- Start date
Why is he ignoring you? What happened?
He evidently needs some space right now. Give him some time. For now, don't try to contact him. If he needs some space from you for some reason, trying to contact him will be perceived as annoying. After a week or so, try again--saying you need closure, or an explanation, or to repair any damage that's been done.
A second option would be to enlist a mutual friend or acquaintance to be your intermediary for you...someone who can be your advocate, perhaps, or explain your side of the situation and ask for their help in setting up a meeting with you.
Good luck. I hope you can get to him and hash it out one way or another. It hurts to the core when something like this happens.
He evidently needs some space right now. Give him some time. For now, don't try to contact him. If he needs some space from you for some reason, trying to contact him will be perceived as annoying. After a week or so, try again--saying you need closure, or an explanation, or to repair any damage that's been done.
A second option would be to enlist a mutual friend or acquaintance to be your intermediary for you...someone who can be your advocate, perhaps, or explain your side of the situation and ask for their help in setting up a meeting with you.
Good luck. I hope you can get to him and hash it out one way or another. It hurts to the core when something like this happens.
RicanDAB
Batteries Not Included
^^ averageguy is right on point, this time he beat me to the punch 
It's amazing how many times I read similar situations on here. Note that there are no guarantees that you will ever find out ... some people are just like that. But space is the best thing you can give him right now. Continuous contact efforts are only going to drive him further away from you.
I hope you find resolve either way at the right time!!
It's amazing how many times I read similar situations on here. Note that there are no guarantees that you will ever find out ... some people are just like that. But space is the best thing you can give him right now. Continuous contact efforts are only going to drive him further away from you.
I hope you find resolve either way at the right time!!
G
gambit2212
Guest
It's hard to help when we don't know what the exact problem is. If you let us know what it was you said, perhaps we can help.
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Gooey45,
Your not the first person. Nor will you be the last person to lose there best friend in the world.
I too have lost my best friend of 15 solid years. All because of a girl. All because I was stupid and made out with him for 4 solid years. Never suspecting that he was just there to get off until he could get a girlfriend. That day happen last year. We got into a big arguement. I said some nasty things...he said some nasty things. We haven't spoken to each other since that fateful day of March 30th 2006. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder about him. I tried to make contact 2 month after the day. Figured it was enough time and that we where both thinking alot clearer then before. But alas he won't speak to me. He won't acknowledge me. Worse of all, what we did together he said never happened. I seen him in the streets and at the malls and he goes out of his way to avoid me. Well I finally decided to let him go. You have to come to that decison too. Sometimes you have to know when to surrender and just give up. Some battles are just not meant to be won.
I don't know what else to say except I found that this song helped me. It's by Pink. Know I don't listen to her but this song just hit home for me cause it basically is how I feel and all i can say is hang in there. Time heals all wounds. You have another best friend soon...sure he or she won't be like the original one but hey.....that's what makes life worth living.
Your not the first person. Nor will you be the last person to lose there best friend in the world.
I too have lost my best friend of 15 solid years. All because of a girl. All because I was stupid and made out with him for 4 solid years. Never suspecting that he was just there to get off until he could get a girlfriend. That day happen last year. We got into a big arguement. I said some nasty things...he said some nasty things. We haven't spoken to each other since that fateful day of March 30th 2006. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder about him. I tried to make contact 2 month after the day. Figured it was enough time and that we where both thinking alot clearer then before. But alas he won't speak to me. He won't acknowledge me. Worse of all, what we did together he said never happened. I seen him in the streets and at the malls and he goes out of his way to avoid me. Well I finally decided to let him go. You have to come to that decison too. Sometimes you have to know when to surrender and just give up. Some battles are just not meant to be won.
I don't know what else to say except I found that this song helped me. It's by Pink. Know I don't listen to her but this song just hit home for me cause it basically is how I feel and all i can say is hang in there. Time heals all wounds. You have another best friend soon...sure he or she won't be like the original one but hey.....that's what makes life worth living.
billybob109
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your leaving out like 80 percent of the story. What did you say to him so we can resolve this.
thanks for the advice i know now i've been going at it all wrong.Weve been best friends for 3 years now we are inseparable and we argue like a husband and wife would .usually when we would argue we wouldnt talk for a day but the next day he would call me and it be fixed.Like 3 days ago we were hanging out when we were talking about who was gonna light who up he told me i should. I said im broke and i always light you up i always help you i give you money for food give him rides to work etc..because hes younger than me , i feel like hes my little brother and i have to protect him from the wrong kind of people so i make sure almost in an obsessive way that he aint hanging with the wrong crowd.
Hes very impressionable and he loves gangsters he loves them wants to be around them etc.. But he knows well my opinion of them.Im going to go off the main story for a little bit.He started chilling with one of his co workers who is a drug dealer,the dealer gives him credit and practically keeps him high all the time.They go out to all different places that i couldnt take him because of work etc..So in the last two months he's been hanging out with him he's lied to me when he was with him like 5 times .
Im a taurus and by nature we all sniff out the lie.We obsess about the lie.I sniffed him out one day when he said he was with his sister and when i saw him in the dealers car he was so scared he almost threw up me being a dumbass made fun of him and said "scared you liar" he swallowed his pride and left the dealer and went to chill with me like planned.That night he invited the dealer over to where we were and when the dealer came into the place no one really warmed up to him.And my best friend blacked out.He went outside angry and i followed like always . Im trying to get him to talk to me but he sais he wants to leave.He tells the dealer to give him a ride but he wasnt really into that drama.
he decided to stay and chilled everything was fine.The next day he came to my house in the morning to console my brother who had just had a big fight with his girlfriend.I said if we both talk to him hell appreciate it.We talked to him and then went to the same spot we were at the night before.It was just me and him and the owner of the garage we smoke at.So our other good friend comes and asks for us to light him up, he sais i should light up i say im broke.He sais no you aint you got your moms bank account.That set me off. I left and thought about what he said over and over, and i was so angry at the time i sent him a message saying go leech off of someone else.Why dont you chill with your friend the drug dealer.Thats what you are a parasite you suck everyone dry.
after that he sent me a sessage saying i swear it to you i will never speak to you again.Its been 4 days now.I went to his job last night in an emotional attempt to reconciliate because (i know hes a true friend he isnt a leech he is just in a lower financial situation than i am.)I tried to talk to him he picked up the phone and said ill talk to you later i was like will you please call me back he said yes.I went to where he was working and i tried to give him a letter he was practically running away from me. I said man dont do this to me about to cry and he stopped the tears were almost coming out and i didnt have a chance to give him the letter.One of his co workers is close with us both and tried to talk to him he asked him what was the problem between us he said nothing and ignored him.
He didnt call me back and i cant manage to think of life without him.My mom left the country, i live alone dont have many friends who care enough to let me vent.It was memorial day weekend so no work to keep me occupied.I must be annoying the hell out of him , but i feel like if i dont try i will loose him for good and his drug dealer friend is someone i wouldnt trust ever in my life i know , i feel something bad is gonna happen to him.What should i do how do i stop staring at my phone waiting for his call?Should i try the letter again?
thanks guys i will take your advice and give him space i know it has a solution because when i call him he lets the phone ring the entire time he doesnt reject the phone call like he normally does.And yesterday at his job, while he was running i saw him see my pain and in that second he stopped.I miss him so much because he let me vent he knew my secrets he knew me for who i am and accepted me i cant stop thinking about him , the reason im so emotional is because a year ago the same thing happened with my brother we didnt talk for six months.I hate having this gaping whole in my chest that everytime i breathe in it hurts.Im smoking alot more cigarettes too i usualy smoke 2 a day in the morning and lunch yesterday i smoked ten im stressing out bad.
Hes very impressionable and he loves gangsters he loves them wants to be around them etc.. But he knows well my opinion of them.Im going to go off the main story for a little bit.He started chilling with one of his co workers who is a drug dealer,the dealer gives him credit and practically keeps him high all the time.They go out to all different places that i couldnt take him because of work etc..So in the last two months he's been hanging out with him he's lied to me when he was with him like 5 times .
Im a taurus and by nature we all sniff out the lie.We obsess about the lie.I sniffed him out one day when he said he was with his sister and when i saw him in the dealers car he was so scared he almost threw up me being a dumbass made fun of him and said "scared you liar" he swallowed his pride and left the dealer and went to chill with me like planned.That night he invited the dealer over to where we were and when the dealer came into the place no one really warmed up to him.And my best friend blacked out.He went outside angry and i followed like always . Im trying to get him to talk to me but he sais he wants to leave.He tells the dealer to give him a ride but he wasnt really into that drama.
he decided to stay and chilled everything was fine.The next day he came to my house in the morning to console my brother who had just had a big fight with his girlfriend.I said if we both talk to him hell appreciate it.We talked to him and then went to the same spot we were at the night before.It was just me and him and the owner of the garage we smoke at.So our other good friend comes and asks for us to light him up, he sais i should light up i say im broke.He sais no you aint you got your moms bank account.That set me off. I left and thought about what he said over and over, and i was so angry at the time i sent him a message saying go leech off of someone else.Why dont you chill with your friend the drug dealer.Thats what you are a parasite you suck everyone dry.
after that he sent me a sessage saying i swear it to you i will never speak to you again.Its been 4 days now.I went to his job last night in an emotional attempt to reconciliate because (i know hes a true friend he isnt a leech he is just in a lower financial situation than i am.)I tried to talk to him he picked up the phone and said ill talk to you later i was like will you please call me back he said yes.I went to where he was working and i tried to give him a letter he was practically running away from me. I said man dont do this to me about to cry and he stopped the tears were almost coming out and i didnt have a chance to give him the letter.One of his co workers is close with us both and tried to talk to him he asked him what was the problem between us he said nothing and ignored him.
He didnt call me back and i cant manage to think of life without him.My mom left the country, i live alone dont have many friends who care enough to let me vent.It was memorial day weekend so no work to keep me occupied.I must be annoying the hell out of him , but i feel like if i dont try i will loose him for good and his drug dealer friend is someone i wouldnt trust ever in my life i know , i feel something bad is gonna happen to him.What should i do how do i stop staring at my phone waiting for his call?Should i try the letter again?
thanks guys i will take your advice and give him space i know it has a solution because when i call him he lets the phone ring the entire time he doesnt reject the phone call like he normally does.And yesterday at his job, while he was running i saw him see my pain and in that second he stopped.I miss him so much because he let me vent he knew my secrets he knew me for who i am and accepted me i cant stop thinking about him , the reason im so emotional is because a year ago the same thing happened with my brother we didnt talk for six months.I hate having this gaping whole in my chest that everytime i breathe in it hurts.Im smoking alot more cigarettes too i usualy smoke 2 a day in the morning and lunch yesterday i smoked ten im stressing out bad.
bluedragon4
JUB Addict
I was gonna comment but that situation is so far from anything in my life that i'm clueless. You said you are also doing pot and I don't get why your friend got so mad over your leach comment? It all seems so low brow. Maybe you should let your friend be and get new friends. Your friend is a junky and has to hit bttm before he can pull it together. I really am surprised this was your problem when I 1st started reading this post. Couldn't your friend have hit on your bf like any normal gay problem?lol.
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your welcome. The first time I heard it I cried too. Still do sometimes when I feel really lonely and down in the dumps. I miss my former best friend but what can you do.
backpacker
fka "vetteboi"
I'm glad you and your friend are getting together and hopefully everything will work out. What lesson did you learn from this? The obvious is not to say things in anger, but there is a more important lesson. You need to set proper boundaries so that you don't get in these situations in the first place. I've lost a few friends because they took advantage of my good nature, but didn't reciprocate when I needed it. Hurt feelings won't happen if the situation doesn't exist in the first place. Of course if a friend had a true emergency, I would be there to help out. Being short on cash because they spent too much somewhere else isn't an emergency. A major medical problem is. You get the idea.
I dont know if hes using me or not because sometimes he can be generous but its been a while since hes been.Im the type of person who likes it when someone returns the favor.And if they dont for a while it makes me snap because i start feeling used.What i did was wrong because you should never let your emotions get the better of you think about the problem and talk it out.
When i asked him why he didnt pick up etc.. he said to me you could've pulled me to the side and told me that you felt bad about what i said he said he was sorry for his comment but that he needed to think if that anger i felt was tied to the people he was chilling with now.I told him i did in a way feel jelous that he prefered to hang out with this fake drug dealer.He told me that is his decision who he hangs out with and that no matter what we will still be best friends.
so it ended good , only bad thing is his drug dealer friend comes looking for him and he always has to go.Im starting to think this isnt gonna last and i should get ready to brake it for good.It sucks but you cant tell somone who to pick as their friends.
When i asked him why he didnt pick up etc.. he said to me you could've pulled me to the side and told me that you felt bad about what i said he said he was sorry for his comment but that he needed to think if that anger i felt was tied to the people he was chilling with now.I told him i did in a way feel jelous that he prefered to hang out with this fake drug dealer.He told me that is his decision who he hangs out with and that no matter what we will still be best friends.
so it ended good , only bad thing is his drug dealer friend comes looking for him and he always has to go.Im starting to think this isnt gonna last and i should get ready to brake it for good.It sucks but you cant tell somone who to pick as their friends.