lunarus
Gay Aegis
This will be long so bear with me please.
Since the unfortunate passing of prop 8 in California I have heard many voices within our own community accusing others of needles anger and whining. These are the people I would le to address. This is and will not be attempt to single those out by name and or actions.
First off let me paint something for you all. You are in a long-term relationship. Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Someone that is not related to you by birth or blood or extended family. The only catch is they happen to be of the same sex as you.
The two of you do your best to insolate each other from the worlds disdain of you. You keep your head held high and refuse to hide who you are and go about your days to be a shining example that gay couples are the same as every other couple out there. We have our ups and downs. Our money issues. Our fights over stupid things like not doing dishes. We show others we are the same on ever level and we are deserving of such protections under the law as they are. Yet somewhere between the polling places, their homes and places of worship they forget this. As much as you have tried to put a human face on the issue, it has/was somehow whipped away and replaced with ignorance and the fear instilled in them by their religious leaders. You see this happen time and time again. It seems no matter ho much of your life you share with those around you never instill with in them a sense of clarity of just how much alike we are. After all is said and done we are expected to go back and socialize with these we have worked so hard to show we are so much like them. Turn the other cheek as it was. Why should I? Why should I continue down a road I have found to be fruitless and frustrating only to see the same result over and over again.
Fast forward if you will. These issues are now tied up in the court system where they belong. Minority civil rights should never be voted on the masses. We would not have women’s rights, desegregation, interracial marriages or legal abortion if we did. We wait with baited breath to hear the rulings. The two of you poor over little piece of information coming out about the hearings. It looks good for the gay community. It puts a new and invigorated step to your everyday life. You cannot help but smile. Then the unthinkable happens. You mate, the person you have been with exclusively for the past 20 years is struck down. You are completely broadside by this event. You rush to gather the important papers together. The living will, medical directives, power of attorney and such. Because after all you paid over 3 thousands dollars to have them drawn up to protect your relationship in this very event. You reach the hospital your partners condition first and foremost in your mind. You rush to the front desk and frantically ask what bay your partner is in. The first question they ask is are you family. All you can answer is I am his partner as you hurriedly hand over copies of all the paper work you brought with you. Scanning over it the nurse looks over at another. "Sir his sister is with him at the moment, she has asked that no one else but family be allowed back." You are dumbfounded. His sister has not communicated with him for nearly ten years, what could she possible hope to accomplish by making trouble at a time like this. Further scanning the paper work the nurse decides to have the charge nurse come up to the front and make a call on it because after all with a newly passes amendment to the states constitution such contract can be null and void and seen as conveying rights only guaranteed by married couples. As you stand there ever second passes like an eternity. You cannot find out anything about his condition because of the HIPPA laws and your LACK of proper legal clarification, such as MARRIAGE. Finally the charge nurse comes up and looks over the papers herself as you stand there, completely at their mercy. More time passes and she looks up at you and waves you forward. Rushing to the families waiting room you are met by his long distant sister. You swallow your anger and begin to pace. You can do nothing but wait.
Two weeks later you sit in your home staring out the window. The fall colors fading into winter’s grays. Your mind wandering over the past twenty years the two of you have spent together. The home you brought fifteen years ago and made your own. The multitudes of family and friends and diminished to a slow trickle leaving you deal with the aftermath of his death. In your lap is the letter from an attorney hired by his sister. She is going after his property or the liquidation of said property. You thought you had everything locked up tight, only to find out after the fact there was a clerical error on the will. You are faced with loosing everything. Do you stand up and fight or just give in? You have all you can do to pay the ever mounting medical bills that was left behind as well as the everyday bills that need to be kept up to date. After all you have no right to his pension and you are having a problem with the life insurance.
What do you do? What do you do? When you have done everything by the book and gone out of your way to educate others only to be kicked in the teeth time and time again…
Since the unfortunate passing of prop 8 in California I have heard many voices within our own community accusing others of needles anger and whining. These are the people I would le to address. This is and will not be attempt to single those out by name and or actions.
First off let me paint something for you all. You are in a long-term relationship. Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Someone that is not related to you by birth or blood or extended family. The only catch is they happen to be of the same sex as you.
The two of you do your best to insolate each other from the worlds disdain of you. You keep your head held high and refuse to hide who you are and go about your days to be a shining example that gay couples are the same as every other couple out there. We have our ups and downs. Our money issues. Our fights over stupid things like not doing dishes. We show others we are the same on ever level and we are deserving of such protections under the law as they are. Yet somewhere between the polling places, their homes and places of worship they forget this. As much as you have tried to put a human face on the issue, it has/was somehow whipped away and replaced with ignorance and the fear instilled in them by their religious leaders. You see this happen time and time again. It seems no matter ho much of your life you share with those around you never instill with in them a sense of clarity of just how much alike we are. After all is said and done we are expected to go back and socialize with these we have worked so hard to show we are so much like them. Turn the other cheek as it was. Why should I? Why should I continue down a road I have found to be fruitless and frustrating only to see the same result over and over again.
Fast forward if you will. These issues are now tied up in the court system where they belong. Minority civil rights should never be voted on the masses. We would not have women’s rights, desegregation, interracial marriages or legal abortion if we did. We wait with baited breath to hear the rulings. The two of you poor over little piece of information coming out about the hearings. It looks good for the gay community. It puts a new and invigorated step to your everyday life. You cannot help but smile. Then the unthinkable happens. You mate, the person you have been with exclusively for the past 20 years is struck down. You are completely broadside by this event. You rush to gather the important papers together. The living will, medical directives, power of attorney and such. Because after all you paid over 3 thousands dollars to have them drawn up to protect your relationship in this very event. You reach the hospital your partners condition first and foremost in your mind. You rush to the front desk and frantically ask what bay your partner is in. The first question they ask is are you family. All you can answer is I am his partner as you hurriedly hand over copies of all the paper work you brought with you. Scanning over it the nurse looks over at another. "Sir his sister is with him at the moment, she has asked that no one else but family be allowed back." You are dumbfounded. His sister has not communicated with him for nearly ten years, what could she possible hope to accomplish by making trouble at a time like this. Further scanning the paper work the nurse decides to have the charge nurse come up to the front and make a call on it because after all with a newly passes amendment to the states constitution such contract can be null and void and seen as conveying rights only guaranteed by married couples. As you stand there ever second passes like an eternity. You cannot find out anything about his condition because of the HIPPA laws and your LACK of proper legal clarification, such as MARRIAGE. Finally the charge nurse comes up and looks over the papers herself as you stand there, completely at their mercy. More time passes and she looks up at you and waves you forward. Rushing to the families waiting room you are met by his long distant sister. You swallow your anger and begin to pace. You can do nothing but wait.
Two weeks later you sit in your home staring out the window. The fall colors fading into winter’s grays. Your mind wandering over the past twenty years the two of you have spent together. The home you brought fifteen years ago and made your own. The multitudes of family and friends and diminished to a slow trickle leaving you deal with the aftermath of his death. In your lap is the letter from an attorney hired by his sister. She is going after his property or the liquidation of said property. You thought you had everything locked up tight, only to find out after the fact there was a clerical error on the will. You are faced with loosing everything. Do you stand up and fight or just give in? You have all you can do to pay the ever mounting medical bills that was left behind as well as the everyday bills that need to be kept up to date. After all you have no right to his pension and you are having a problem with the life insurance.
What do you do? What do you do? When you have done everything by the book and gone out of your way to educate others only to be kicked in the teeth time and time again…
