Making a gay friend

[nafhoosier]

What's up?

I have been on this site for a year and haven't really thought about asking this, but will give it a shot anyway.

I am semi-new to the area that I'm currently living and have made plenty of good friends. The only thing is, they are all straight.

Now I hate calling this a problem because I think they're awesome and throughout my 21 years of life all of my friends have been straight. I came out to my friends a little more than a year ago and I couldn't have been happier with the outcome. As much as I have fun with them and talk about everything that they do, it would really be nice to make a gay or bi friend so that I at least have one friend who I can relate to on a different level.

The area I live in doesn't really have a noticeable gay community or easy ways to meet them, so does anyone have any suggestions on how to make a gay friend when the resources one would find in big cities (such as clubs or organizations) aren't easily available?

 

[Lube]

Go to the places where gay guys hang out.

Interesting coffee shops. Knick-knack and antique stores. Food co-ops. The gym.

Hint: if you're not out to other guys, they're not going to be out to you.

Have any straight female friends? They often have gay friends.

 

[TrailRider86]

I'm always up for chatting, on aim or something, if you want. Im not real sure how to meet other bi/gay people except by going to a gay bar, ha.

 

[nafhoosier]

Go to the places where gay guys hang out.

Interesting coffee shops. Knick-knack and antique stores. Food co-ops. The gym.

Hint: if you're not out to other guys, they're not going to be out to you.

Have any straight female friends? They often have gay friends.

I am out to my friends.

They are guys and are try to hook me up with people but they really don't know anyone nearby.

Same with the females.

I'm not much into shopping and I don't think there's any restaurant that gay men in the area frequent (there's no real gay scene here, lol) so does that mean the gym is my best bet?

 

[Lube]

I mean are you out in the public places that you hope to meet guys? If a guy at the gym asked if you have a gf, what would you say?

There are lots of shops & coffee shops & restaurants here that have a gay vibe, and they're nowhere near any gay ghetto. You do realize gays live everywhere. They're not "gay coffee shops" or "gay gift shops"; it's just that the service they offer or atmosphere or products tends to attract a gay clientele.

For example, Butter is a bakery/coffee shop in town. It's in a middle class part of town; nothing special or gay about the area. But they have really great coffee and from-scratch bakery goods and an organic/recycling vibe that goes over well with gays and lesbians; so it's loaded with them.

Likewise with the many food co-ops, and gifty stores.

And we have 3-4 Apple Stores in the area.

Basically go where you like to go and do what you like to do and you're bound to find someone who's gay and does similar things.

Look on Meetup.com.

I have a blog post about this.

Good luck.

 

[maxpowr9]

I'll play a little devil's advocate here.

Why exactly do you want a gay friend? There is a BIG difference between have a gay friend and a boy friend.

I have some gay friends that I really like and hang out with. On the other side, there are some gay guys I know that I don't even want to be in the same room with.

I'll try and offer some advice here. Just be yourself. Keep on doing things you enjoy doing and you are bound to find gay guys that share your interests. Reckon I don't know anything about you but taking a quick glance at your avatar(liking the Colts ), I may recommend joining the gay sports league in Chicago. Pretty much every major city has one. The "gay" scene just doesn't have to be bars/clubs.

 

[Lube]

BTW, I totally agree with you, nafhoosier, about finding a gay friend. Nothing wrong with straight friends, but you do really relate on a different level with gay friends.

However I do find it somewhat odd that none of your friends have ever been gay. We're 10% (at least, IMHO) of the population, so unless you have a very small set of friends throughout your life, it seems unlikely.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, your profile lists two different locations- one to the north of Chicago and the other in NW Indiana.

Your's is a problem is one that a lot of guys in suburban and rural areas run into- most of the gay guys move to the nearest city or they commute there to go out to the clubs on the weekends. That's true for the two areas that you show on your profile- South Bend, Chicago, Ann Arbor and Indianapolis all have large gay populations and lots of clubs to choose from.

The other thing question is what kind of gay guys are you wanting to meet and for what reason?

The places that have been suggested are places where gay guys go (I would add live theatres, Barnes&Noble, adult bookstores and movie theatres to the list). But many of these places aren't where more masculine guys go (and it sounds like you're more of the sporty, masculine gay/bi type). The gym and sports bars are where you're going to find the gays that are into the more masculine stuff.

If you're just looking to network or find a fuckbuddy, then take a look at the gay networking sites- for just meeting guys to go out with, there's Yahoo Personals or connexion.org.

If you're looking more for a warm body for a cold night, then there's sites like RealJock.com (gay gym guys), Manhunt.net or Adam4Adam.com (more for NSA sex and hookups) and Badoo.com (networking and hookups).

For example:
http://personals.yahoo.com/us/IL/Gay-ManDatingMan-Lake-Bluff-24020254.html
http://www.realjock.com