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Making friends with guys in a couple

TX-Beau

TX-Beau

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How so? Are you interested in this guy? Is he interested in you?

I think we've probably all been friends with guys in relationships. It's not really an issue if no one is interested in anyone else.
 
It can be done....but your right...it is delicate...especially at first. In order to make sure the one left out is cool and comfortable with you and his boyfriend hanging out as friends...you need to assure him that it is just a friendship and you are not making a move on his bf. Assure him by not only words but with your actions as well. Even the most secure person can sometimes feel insecure or jealous. You also do need to maintain the friendship with both...like when the 3 of you are hanging out...spend equal time talking with the other as any friend would do.

Respect their personal time together, don't automatically exclude the one from an activity (it's always nice to be asked even if you know they won't want to go), don't call too often, get in the middle of their problems/take sides, don't go places with him that could easily be misconstrued as a date, etc, etc...
 
Just because you get along with one better, why are you seeking one on one friendship with one? If you don't like the other one, then invite the one you like with you and your other friends right? so it's not just the two of you. That way the guy says, hey I'm going out with my friend Brent and his friends.

But it sounds like you're looking for friendship exclusivity, which to me sounds fishy.
 
I've personally never had a problem with this. Either as the "getting to know a couple" person, or as the "one of a couple" person. You're inviting both of them, so it's clear you're not making a move on anybody. To me, it's exactly the same as inviting a straight couple, or an unattached straight guy. You're just enjoying his (or their) company. Unless the invite is to come over and wrestle in your underwear, I don't see this as being an issue in the slightest.

Lex
 
You seem to be a very considerate friend. Yes, It could become an issue down the line but just the fact that you realize that shows that you are a very caring person...|
 
So why is justusbrent a guest?

Is it me, or are people deleting their accounts or being banned on an accelerating basis??
 
It means he self-deleted. The reason it seems like you're seeing more is that a few months back, they changed the self-delete to immediate. It used to have a "cooling off" period where they could change their mind and cancel the self-delete. Now, once you start a self-delete, it's a done deal.
 
justusbrent said:
No, I'm not interested in him. And I don't think he is interested in me.

I just don't want to put any strain on their relationship if I do up spending more time with him.
Click to expand...

it absolutely WILL put a strain on their relationship. The closer you both may get, the uglier things are going to get.
 
So long as there is no sex involved, and so long as you don't take much of their time as a couple, it is supposed to work out fine. After all, in a couple, each still has a need to have time for hanging with his own friends!!! Just make sure that there is no doubt to them you're only interested in friendship!
 
crashman1218 said:
If it's clear to everyone involved that there's no romantic attraction between you two, and it still becomes a problem, then that's a result of something not being right between the couple to begin with. If the partner can't get past his boyfriend having another gay guy as a friend, then the partner clearly has some security/protection issues.

Contrary to what Billy Crystal said in "When Harry Met Sally...", a man and a woman CAN be friends, and two gay guys CAN be friends without the sex getting in the way. Any strain that arises will not be a result of YOU, but rather issues in the couple's relationship (personality-wise or compatibility-wise) that haven't been dealt with.

As long as everyone is honest and clear about what's going on, I think you'll be fine.
Click to expand...

I disagree. A LOT of the reasons why people end up cheating is because they become very close to their gay best friend, or a straight guy gets close to his female best friend. The time they spend together, the private conversations they have, the openess between the two of them...it eventually may lead to something sexual.
think about all of your friends that you know, (guys girls, or two gay guys)...i'm sure there were many instances where they've hooked up. While being in an acutaly relationship might prevent that, it still does not prevent it comepletely.
 
I think it would involve simply realizing that "feelings were developing" if they did, and being wise enough to step back from that. I've become friends with couples, and singles, and one-guy-from-couples. And I have yet to even be remotely tempted to have anything happen with them.

Lex
 
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