Making up For Lost Time

[TwinkleFuck]

Many years ago, when I was a young sexy beast - perhaps I still am, there was a boy in high school and I in middle school. Long story short, I moved away and we lost touch. We were very cautious coming from such a conservative town in the rural midwest and never got to act upon our youthful glow. Turns out we have both done some nude escapades. His work was more successful than my own - an old twink website Teen Boy Scene features Dillon Star, the twink of my middle school dreams. Now we have spontaneously, due to the tendencies for queers of rural america to move to urban and suburban environments connected. We want to "make up for lost time" as it were and I am very excited and very thrilled at the idea. However, will it be worth delving into the past and exploring what was very much lost. I mean, we are no longer young and definitely not as attractive as we would have been and I can't get over that. Will it be possible to get over that hump in my brain, I am still attracted, and him to me, but maybe I am superficial getting wrapped up in what could have been in the past some ten years ago. We are going to try to befriend each other and see where things go, I am very nervous about our differences. We were and still are very different people but we are also very connected to our rural upbringing in a lot of ways. Maybe I am just nostalgic for something I feel I am missing out on because I moved for high school and never stayed in the area. Maybe that is what is disappointing me and I have to somehow make up for it, but why now after resenting that place for so long? That wretched no good rotten place of rural midwestern hell? Is there something in this homoerotic act that may liberate my dull existence? I am forced to contemplate it a great deal. Being gay is weird, I've been out for so long and yet my upbringing will forever haunt me. Thoughts?

 

[TX-Beau]

I'm not really sure what you're asking. We aren't fully developed as kids so it stands to reason that both of you don't really know each other, and therefor, as in the same situation people who've just met are in. Can't you just get to know the guy a bit and see if you really want HIM or just the memory.

 

[Seasoned]

It seems that you regret not having played more with him in a repressive and scary envinornment. All that is now gone. Is it not exciting enough now?

 

[kallipolis]

Be grateful for what is...knowing that the past cannot be changed.

 

[TwinkleFuck]

It seems that you regret not having played more with him in a repressive and scary envinornment. All that is now gone. Is it not exciting enough now?

I think you are right. The novelty of it is gone because here it is completely accepting which reduces my interest given what could have been.

 

[TwinkleFuck]

Be grateful for what is...knowing that the past cannot be changed.

Living in the present has been very difficult for me. I have a tendency to think a lot about what the future contains and how the past was not always what was perfection. There are realizables for me which seem spontaneous and very much in opposition to Sartre's unrealizables he talks about in his war diaries which are just unspeakably insightful as anyone that loves the joy of philosophy.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I'm going to guess you've jerked off to thoughts of what could have been, in perfect, on a pedestal physical and chemical bonding 1,000 Times. So now whats real and what's fantasy? What if it doesn't go as rehearsed? What if he rejects the advances? Will that shatter your sense of reality?

 

[rareboy]

It is true. The past is a different country. You can visit but you can't live there.

I would love to have the opportunity to rekindle some childhood friendships and fuck the living daylights out of some of my schoolmates............but I also know that we are different people now than we were then and the guy I really want to mess around with is that young, fumbling, nervous and unspoiled person....without all the baggage of the intervening years to lug around.

I think it is great to reconnect as friends and to have some 'what if' moments......but I will keep all of my sexual fantasies about the boyhood chums in the past.

 

[TwinkleFuck]

I think that is very wise advice! My imagination often overwhelms reality which leads me to be very vulnerable to disappointments. Probably why it is a good reason to curl up in a ball far away from society and write fantasy novels about very distant places and strange creatures and events.

 

[TwinkleFuck]

I'm going to guess you've jerked off to thoughts of what could have been, in perfect, on a pedestal physical and chemical bonding 1,000 Times. So now whats real and what's fantasy? What if it doesn't go as rehearsed? What if he rejects the advances? Will that shatter your sense of reality?

I think that is cold, cruel, solid, advice. I think the fantasies have been more than perfect and I can look at his porn pictures anytime I desire. That is much better, he is, to the contrary not rejecting the advances. If anyone is being cautious and mature, it would be me. I am a bit surprised that people on a porn forum are quite "conservative" regarding real physical sex and I am thankful for the honesty and the directness. I need a shattered sense of reality. I live in a fantasy land. And the world is very far from that.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I am a bit surprised that people on a porn forum are quite "conservative" regarding real physical sex and I am thankful for the honesty and the directness. I need a shattered sense of reality. I live in a fantasy land. And the world is very far from that.

Looking at it from a different perspective: JUB has an older, more experienced group of people. They have been down these paths before and hopefully, others can benefits from the sometimes painful lessons that they have learned along the way.