Males in the family treat you diffrent?

[bored010]

I realized that I was gay when I was 11 years old simply by my attraction to the other boys in my grade at the time. At first I went into self denial about it, but came around by age 13. I am 21 now.

I came all the way out when I turned 16-17 (somewhere in there) to my family and friends. I am lucky because I have a great family who support me a lot, but since then I have noticed that some of the males in my family don't seem to respond to the fact. Like every once in a while my grandpa will make a comment about me being with one of my girl friends as if they were an actual girlfriend. Also whenever I talk about a guy I like or someone I think is hot/cute, my brother gets all quiet and I feel like I made things akward for him (even though its not for me because I am not ashamed of myself)

Does anyone else have this problem in their family?

 

[bronzeganymede]

guys in my family always treated me differently so im kinda used to it. none of them were ever mean or distant with me but i dont have the same comraderie with them, which is fine.. i can go my whole life without talking wifes, girlfriends, cars and sports. i was really worried about my younger brothers after i came out, but luckily nothing changed and were still close. if i were you, id just talk to your brother or grandfather, see how they truly, get some common ground and that you being gay is not a phase or choice.. youre just being you. hope this helped at all

 

[TX-Beau]

The guys in my family went through an adjustment period where they were pretty silent about it. They didn't know how to handle the information. But then my brothers started giving me hell for it - which is acceptance behavior for us rather than the reverse. So I get all the jokes and catch hell for it, just like they used to behave, only about different subjects.

 

[Eagle653]

That's actually a pretty common theme. Part of it may be an awkwardness in general; part of it may be that bonds with straight men just aren't there, at least in the same way they consider them. So, while there's politeness and even friendliness, there's sometimes less than a genuine connection.

I've noticed it too, on occasion, but I don't dwell on it because my real social circle, and sources of friendship, are not males in my family. They're nice for a visit, now and then, though, and would do anything for me, or anyone else in the family. So, I love them, but am also realistic that I'm not their best friend, nor vice versa.

 

[Jerry]

I've only come out to my Mom and a couple friends, so I can't speak for male family members.

The first friend I told though, had a bit of an awkward phase. He was accepting and never had a bad word, but he said it was "weird" for him. I guess I can understand that, since I basically lied to him for 10 years. He's getting better as time goes on.

The other friend didn't care at all. He said (like my other friend did) that he never would have guessed that I was gay, but he had no awkward phase at all. Actually, I asked him just tonight if he could bring one of his (cute) friends by the next time he came over. He just laughed and said he was married. No big deal at all.



But all this aside, you're from WI??? You're that cute and from my state and I didn't see you HOW?

Oh, and WELCOME to JUB!!

 

[mexidude85]

Yeah My bro is always going on about any girl he sees on tv and I'm right there sitting next to him. Do i fuckin care?? No. I dont respond but he clearly likes to shove it in my face or maybe he just cant help himself. But its like i cant say anything around him i havent tried but i wont even touch that cause i know he will feel disgusted or something.

 

[Kensei]

Remember that it takes adjusting to for them as well. Sometimes they may just not know what to say.

 

[G-Lexington]

Not really. But then again, I don't do the "I think he's hot" thing with my family. Not because I'm gay or ashamed of it, but because NOBODY in my family does the "I think s/he's hot" thing.

Lex

 

[bored010]

I guess it probably is just their way of adjusting to it, but there are times that I wish they were more like my friends and just didnt care about that.

Thanks everyone

 

[Nomenclature]

My brother now hates me since he's found out. The other men in my family (my father, uncles) don't know yet to my knowledge, but if they DID they would probably really hate me, since they claim to be very Christian people and used that as the reason they were against gay marriage back when Prop 8 first happened.

 

[thrive]

my grandpas all passed away before i was born but i rarely talk about a guy i may like in front of my uncles or say that a guy is hot. i barely talk to my dad (parent's divorced) and my cousins are 100% ok with it and some of them are really sweet and can't wait until i settle down lol.

 

[Lube]

It could be any number of things, as people already said. I especially like Eagle's response about there just not being a connection between gay & straight men.

But also consider this: Gayness is known to be inherited. There are other gay men in your family. Whether they ever admit it or not.

Straight men may not have a connection with you, but they won't really be uneasy. Guys who are afraid of you or are truly uneasy are, IMHO, probably closet cases who are uncomfortable with themselves and project it onto you.

Sad but true.

 

[MrEleven]

My older brother and I seem much more close now that I'm out to my family.

We always got along, but I think I was the one being distant out of fear of how he would react when I came out.

He was actually shocked I didn't tell him sooner. Well to be honest, I never old HIM. I told my mom, who in turn told my brother, who emailed me kind of upset that I never told him.

My dad was also told by my mom (thanks mom!), and we are the same. Never had the most amazing relationship, but it didn't hurt it either.