Managing expectations?

[Cirdan]

I came out late, and have only been intimate with one guy. I feel like I'm not very experienced in sex, foreplay etc, and I'm worried about getting it on with other guys at clubs etc, who have more experience. I don't like to French kiss or eat ass. If I bring any of this up, I feel like it would kill the energy, and make for a lonely evening. Should I just go for it and not worry about what the other person is expecting in terms of how good the sex is etc etc?

 

[KaraBulut]

Should I just go for it and not worry about what the other person is expecting in terms of how good the sex is etc etc?

Yes.

You don't want to spend your life trying to anticipate other people's expectations.

Especially someone that you meet in a club.

 

[rareboy]

I can where telling a casual stranger that you don't like to eat ass or french kiss might be a bit of a mood dampener.

Kara put it very eloquently.

Now. Just relax and have fun.

 

[hackingnomberr]

The guys you meet in a club are practice guys anyway, wouldn't it suck to not be able to pleasure a guy you're actually into?

 

[fetaby]

I think when the time comes you just play it by ear. If you feel your partner is way more experienced, mention that your new to all this. But when it comes to picking up tips and tricks, just be observant and use some common sense. If you can imagine it feeling good, do what you can to make it happen. But I will give you a little more technique, it's worked very well for me. You and your guy are playing around, doing whatever. When you want him to cum, but don't want it on your face or body (and no not everybody is into that) position your mate into a sitting position near the edge of the bed, sit behind him. Using one hand to jack him off and the other to roam his body, pinch his nipples, pull his hair, cup his balls, etc. Kiss his neck, lick his ears. It's a very dominant yet giving position. It focuses your will to please with a massive amount of body contact and allows your partner to relax into it.

I know that was kind of graphic and may have not been what you were looking for, but I hope it helps and good luck.

 

[rareboy]

I can imagine where telling a casual stranger that you don't like to eat ass or french kiss might be a bit of a mood dampener.

Have no idea where my mind went that I didn't catch the missing word.

 

[conrad]

Why not just give yourself and others a break: be a friend and respond in friendship to those who are attracted to you.

Friendships have a way of becoming more than mere friendship and that is when two persons try hard to know the other person and to let the other person know that they are important to them.

If and when sex happens it will confirm the bond between two persons and those two persons will not need any coaching.

We all learn by doing; and, "doing" with a person with whom you have a deep bond of friendship and love beats any casual hook-up with a "stranger" in a bar.

 

[leNate]

We all learn by doing; and, "doing" with a person with whom you have a deep bond of friendship and love beats any casual hook-up with a "stranger" in a bar.

Agreed. Gaining experience is a lot more fun and less scary if you're doing it with someone who cares about you. That way you guys can work on it together. You can relax and not constantly worry about what the other person is thinking. Having that weight in the back of your mind can ruin the experience for both of you.

And for the record, I've never been turned off because someone was less experienced or didn't like something. Any guy who does is a jerk IMO.

Just relax and have fun. We all have to have our firsts.