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Married and Not Attracted to men

J

justinside

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...but I am turned on by cock. A man's body, age, or race doesn't effect me at all, but I am fascinated by a nice cock. I have let several men blow me and rim me but I have never been attracted to them. I have touched several cocks but have only tasted one. I almost felt guilty after doing it...like I am officially bisexual. I live my life as a straight man and my wife, family, and friends would never suspect that I feel this way. I'm not ashamed of it and I'm happy with the way things are. Just living my life and satisfying my homosexual cravings as they arise. Does anybody else live like this? As in not really considering yourself gay or bi, but liking male company from time to time? Having zero desire to ever be outed?
 
I am glad that you can celebrate your life this way. I do hope you are supportive to those men with whom you associate, even if it is anonymous.

What works for one does not necessarily work for others. Do wish you the best.

Rand
 
Absolutely. I have nothing against the homosexual community. I am the last person to pass judgement on anyone for embracing or exploring their sexuality.
 
I'm no expert on human sexuality, but I was married for 14 years and we had 2 children together and I cheated for cock. I don't envy you. I assume you're doing this in secret, which is something that could be discovered by a friend or family member. I'd suggest this is something to be explored with a good therapist.

I had a lot of anonymous sex, sometimes going back for seconds and more and guys telling me they were in love with me. It was creepy for me crawling under the sheets with my wife after coming home from a bj. There was also the worry of herpes and other STDs.
 
you know, there are straight men who are nontheless into cock. theyre the ones wanking off to all the transvestite porn out there.

judging from what youve written, you dont seem to be one of them. you claim that youre not attracted to men at all, only to cock... yet you talk about "male company", and you let men blow and rim you. if you were truly only attracted to cock, wouldnt you be more interested in blowing them?

my guess is that youre deeply in denial. my suggestion is that you work on that shit. of course you can just go on in secrecy and shame, but boy, do i not envy the man who chooses this path. id say, better face some deeply uncomfortable shit now than being full of regeret later in old age.

good luck, and all the best, whatever way you choose!

also, just as a sidebar: the lgbt community would be much better off if all gay, bi and bi-curious men would come out, and not keep up a straight facade.
 
hylas said:
you know, there are straight men who are nontheless into cock. theyre the ones wanking off to all the transvestite porn out there.

judging from what youve written, you dont seem to be one of them. you claim that youre not attracted to men at all, only to cock... yet you talk about "male company", and you let men blow and rim you. if you were truly only attracted to cock, wouldnt you be more interested in blowing them?

my guess is that youre deeply in denial. my suggestion is that you work on that shit. of course you can just go on in secrecy and shame, but boy, do i not envy the man who chooses this path. id say, better face some deeply uncomfortable shit now than being full of regeret later in old age.

good luck, and all the best, whatever way you choose!

also, just as a sidebar: the lgbt community would be much better off if all gay, bi and bi-curious men would come out, and not keep up a straight facade.
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That. On all points. Also, what Seasoned said.
 
This all seems a bit judgmental. Have any of you sought therapy for your sexual preferences or matters of privacy? Although, I appreciate the input, I was more concerned if anybody else was living like this so we could further discuss. I didn't mean to offend or bring up anything touchy.
 
justinside said:
...but I am turned on by cock. A man's body,. . .doesn't effect me at all, but I am fascinated by a nice cock.
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Since you admit to being fascinating by a nice cock, then you are admitting that a man's body effects you. You may want to take a basic anatomy class to learn that the penis is part of a man's body. Many would argue it is the defining part of a man's body.
 
justinside said:
This all seems a bit judgmental. Have any of you sought therapy for your sexual preferences or matters of privacy? Although, I appreciate the input, I was more concerned if anybody else was living like this so we could further discuss. I didn't mean to offend or bring up anything touchy.
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Why are you asking if gay or bi men are seeking therapy for their sexual orientation?

If you aren't attracted to men, except for sex, then that's the way it is.

I hope you're getting tested for STD's, but other than that, your life is up to you and it's not my place to judge you or how you live your life.
 
I am the complete opposite. I've found that I need the love and affection, emotionally and physically, of a man to make me happy. And this hit me literally like a ton of bricks right out of the blue. Luckily my wife understands that. I believe that it's not fair to hang all your emotional wants and needs on just one person. I know better now.
 
justinside said:
This all seems a bit judgmental.
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errrr... it may not be what you wanted to hear, but how is it judgemental? :confused:

justinside said:
Have any of you sought therapy for your sexual preferences
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ok... now i am gonna break out the judgement. werent you all 'i have nothing against homosexuals!' a couple of posts ago?

on a more informative note, there is no therapy so thats that.
 
It sounds to me that you are in the very early stages of facing your true sexuality. You were probably taught as a child (yes, I'm reaching here) that being gay or anything associated with being gay is bad. Hence the guilt when you get rimmed or a blowjob.

It really doesn't matter if you "officially" accept you are gay or bisexual. You are what you are. You were born this way.

I suppressed my gayness for years; lived as a straight guy; got married; had a kid; and thought sucking a guy's cock was gross. Those gay cravings inside me kept bubbling up to the surface until I decided to face the issue head on. I did not realize I was sucking a cock until I caught myself doing it. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment.

So, the answer to your question is yes. There are lots of guys in denial living as straight when in reality they are gay or bisexual.
 
Having been around the block a few times ,I tell you that one day you WILL be sprung.
I am not being nasty, just do a bit of future planning
 
@justinside. Are you the gay porn star justin side. It's a porn actor with your exact name. And to the juber who said the penis is the most defining part of a man! Not mostly.i'm attracted to men even if he don't have a dick.. I guess it depends on if the relationship is purely sexual..just a thought.
 
hylas said:
ok... now i am gonna break out the judgement. werent you all 'i have nothing against homosexuals!' a couple of posts ago?

on a more informative note, there is no therapy so thats that.
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He wasn't being intolerant. He was suggesting that it was a bit judgmental to automatically assume he needed therapy in the same way that it would have been judgmental if he were to suggest gay people needed it.
 
You haven't asked suggestions for change, and seem happy to continue as you are. So, that is best. Coming out or being discovered would be a big change in your life. My suggestion is that when you find a guy you like, and can trust to be discrete, make an arrangement to meet him periodically. It is less dangerous than seeking to meet new guys.
It might help to know how old you are. It seems many guys start thinking they are straight or bi, get married, have children, and gradually realize that they are more attracted to men. When young with a very strong drive, many can enjoy sex both ways, but as they age and things cool down, they realize that they are not bi after all.
 
Benvolio said:
...
It might help to know how old you are. It seems many guys start thinking they are straight or bi, get married, have children, and gradually realize that they are more attracted to men. When young with a very strong drive, many can enjoy sex both ways, but as they age and things cool down, they realize that they are not bi after all.
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This is actually interesting to me as I probably have experienced this somewhat. Although I am still turned on by the relationships and some physical features, the desire to actually have sex with women is quite low for me these days.
 
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