Married FB and Jo buds: should I feel guilty?

[discreetlatin76]

So now that I've been single I've been having a bit of fun, mostly by finding guys who are into j/o like me. Just some guys who like to have a beer and fire up some porn and stroke it or stroke each other to orgasm.

I have about 8 different j/o buds I see online or can call up to stroke with at any given time. Six are married. One is in a straight relationship but unmarried. One is gay and likes to get facials, but that's neither here nor there.

One is a tom-sellick looking guy who likes to watch me stroke and likes for me to put my dick in his face without any touching. Closet case but he's really fun. Two kids, trophy wife, drives a Lexus.

One is separated from his wife and has his two kids half time. Comes over to watch gangbang porn and we jerk off each other to orgasm.

One is a mechanic about 10 blocks from where I live. Wrist-thick dick, latino. No kids but with a wife. Likes for me to jack him off with no recip. No problem!

One's a short chubby redhead with a huge load.

One is a rancher who also works for the schools here in town. SIX kids, all grown. He's about 60 but very sexy with a smallish dick. He likes to jack me off and use my cum for lube.

The last married guy is new - dont' know much about him except I put my finger up his butt and he just about jumped through the ceiling.


The meat of the matter is that I mentioned to my friends that I fool around sometimes with married guys and a few were appalled and one is not even talking to me because he thinks it's an affront to marriage and god and the church, which hates him for being gay anyway. My other friend wants to join in.

I am now wondering if maybe I'm not seeing something I should be - should i be feeling guilty about having such hot j/o buds who sometimes need to bust a nutt with a friend?

 

[strack800]

I'd look at it like this... It's not right to encourage them to cheat. They might do it regardless, whether it's with you or someone else, but it's dishonest. You wouldn't like to be cheated on, so don't facilitate it...

 

[Willie Boy]

I'd look at it like this... It's not right to encourage them to cheat. They might do it regardless, whether it's with you or someone else, but it's dishonest. You wouldn't like to be cheated on, so don't facilitate it...

Well said. That is the issue in a nutshell.

 

[maxxtri]

Don't listen to these queens. (and I mean the ones with a crown) Don't let someone push their morality on you. Only YOU know how you should feel. You are not forcing anyone to do it. If you do not feel guilty then enjoy yourself. You can only be accountable for your actions, not the actions of others.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

/\ first off he's asking specifically for what people think. so that's different that someone else trying to push off their morals onto him. second, no one has (as of yet) told him he should feel guilty. they've said don't facilitate cheaters, and don't do something you wouldn't want to have happen to him.

ok that's out of the way. should you feel guilty. maybe. but you can't change how you do or don't feel. But as already pointed out you can rationalize whether or not you should be doing what you are doing with married or otherwise involved men. It doesn't matter really in my mind at least if they are married or not. If they are in a relationship with someone else that's the boundary that you are helping them cross. Chances are the wives (in this case anyway) do not know their husbands are cheating on them. Which they are regardless of how far they are taking it.

I'm not trying to push my ethics off on anyone. I've messed around with married guys twice before. I decided it wasn't right and that I didn't feel good about myself afterward so I stopped. What you do or don't do is ultimately up to you.

 

[zeus007]

The last married guy is new - dont' know much about him except I put my finger up his butt and he just about jumped through the ceiling.

That's why chandeliers were invented, right?

 

[texan_slant]

Here's the thing - jacking off is usually considered "harmless." It's fine when there's no emotion involved, and only once in awhile is fine, however, how much time are you spending with these guys?

There becomes a fine line that only the other's know they've crossed (i.e. when you've become a substitute for sex, or emotional connection, with their wives; when their partners don't know where their spouses are, etc.).

Those are the kinds of things that they would know, and in essence, you become the catalyst for them to do that. If you have to ask the question, then, chances are this is more than your normal get-your-rocks-off.

Here is my humble opinion - if it's a jack-off that didn't happen spontaneously and unplanned, or it happens once a month, then I'd re-think your situation.

 

[discreetlatin76]

Thanks for all the replies, fellas. I think at this point, I agree with the posters who say that I am not forcing anybody to do anything - I'm enjoying myself. Since these aren't "dates" or romantic involvements, the only difference between these married guys and anybody else I find on Craiglist is that they've admitted being married.

Frankly, it turns me on that they're married. These guys don't have to be straight-acting ... they're straight! Well they can't be THAT straight if they're jacking another guy off, but they're as close to straight as you can get.

How would I feel if I found out my partner was out whacking off with other guys or girls? I'd be more pissed off he didn't invite me than anything.

In fact I might be SAVING marriages. Hey they could be out getting with some herpes-infested whore at the local Motel 6 or getting it up the can from some strange guy on Manhunt. We get together in a safe environment and whack it - that's all. He goes home to mom and kids and I have a bourbon and watch Firefly. It works out well for everyone!

 

[SilverWolf]

I don't see how these JO buddies save marriages/relationships. If they prevent you from cheating, great. If they prevent you from being sexually frustrated, great.

Does the wife know? Does she expect total monogamy? If she does not know and she expects total monogamy (no sexual activities with anyone other than her, even if its just physical or harmless fun and this includes masturbation with others next to you in my mind), your already deceiving her and hurting the relationship. Its not the physical activities that I think are the bad thing here. Its the not telling the other person when they expect something else.

If the girlfriend/wife knows there's other people involved and is fine with it, then great. Everybody knows, nobody is kept in the dark. Do you have to tell all the details? No. If my boyfriend knows I'm a nerd, then he knows I'm doing nerdy things. If the girlfriend knows the boyfriend enjoys other people for physical fun, then I believe that's all that should be said.

Could I be with someone who could not tell their boyfriend or girlfriend they were fooling around with me? No because I would feel bad. Should you feel bad? I don't know what you should feel.

Its your life.

 

[bankside]

Thanks for all the replies, fellas. I think at this point, I agree with the posters who say that I am not forcing anybody to do anything - I'm enjoying myself. Since these aren't "dates" or romantic involvements, the only difference between these married guys and anybody else I find on Craiglist is that they've admitted being married.

Frankly, it turns me on that they're married. These guys don't have to be straight-acting ... they're straight! Well they can't be THAT straight if they're jacking another guy off, but they're as close to straight as you can get.

How would I feel if I found out my partner was out whacking off with other guys or girls? I'd be more pissed off he didn't invite me than anything.

In fact I might be SAVING marriages. Hey they could be out getting with some herpes-infested whore at the local Motel 6 or getting it up the can from some strange guy on Manhunt. We get together in a safe environment and whack it - that's all. He goes home to mom and kids and I have a bourbon and watch Firefly. It works out well for everyone!

Do you have the balls to invite his girlfriend or wife to join in or watch?

Simple question.

Because my answer depends entirely on your answer.

 

[discreetlatin76]

Do you have the balls to invite his girlfriend or wife to join in or watch?

Simple question.

Because my answer depends entirely on your answer.

I am not sure if I care about your answer but sure, she can bring her snatch by too!

Of course ....typical response from a W****.

Hm... what's a W****?

 

[bankside]

I am not sure if I care about your answer but sure, she can bring her snatch by too!

Next question - do these guys have the balls to invite their girlfriends or wives to join in?

 

[Kennylingus]

What happens between two consenting adults is their buisness. The problem is with your married friends there is another non-consenting person involved. Doesn't matter if you're just jerking them off, it's still cheating. You would be the cause of a massive amount of pain for these women if and when it comes to light. How can you not feel guilty about it? Is this really something you're unsure of?

 

[AbnormalDann]

If the wife's know, then more power to you! But if they don't, don't try to fool yourself (or let anyone else tell you) that what you're doing is okay. If you don't feel bad for what the husbands are doing behind their wives back, then keep doing it, but until the wife is in the know, it's adultery.

Whatever you want to call it is up to you, but unless the wife knows and is okay with what their husbands are doing, the husband is being dishonest and is an adulterer and you are helping him commit adultery whether you or anyone here wants to admit it. I go by the definition of extramarital sexual relations.

The other partner knowing (and approving!) is the important factor here! I'm not telling you to change, but letting you know the law says extramarital sexual relations is adultery unless that third party, the wife, knows and consents.

 

[elra]

If you're cool with knowing that your actions may contribute to ruining somebody's life, then I guess that is just a reflection of your personality.

Cheating on somebody is one of the absolute worst things you can do to them. If someone is under the impression their partner is faithful (definitions of faithful aside, j/o with somebody else is enough for me), then knowingly being a part of the equation makes you as big a selfish scum bag as the cheater in my opinion.

 

[leomendez93]

I realized everyone has a process (short or long) to work their sexuality issues out. Where do you want to get in your life? Do you want to be cheating and continue married until you die? Don't you want to live your life in peace without secrets on your day to day living? Like you said this is sex not love. You say you love your wife. Would she say the same? Sex is an urge, powerful one and I understand that but living this double life without even trying to straighten things out is tough. I know a married man who says that his wife does not even kiss him so he goes out with guys for the "love" thing. Fuck this type of love. It is sex. In the meantime, his wife is SUPPOSED alone at home, without any kissing, sex or anyone trying to work out a relationship with her because of you not setting her free. Just make a fucking decision about what to do with your life but do not leave your wife and family in a hole. We all have moral responsibilities towards one another (so I hope).

 

[palemale]

LMBO if your wife is getting dick from tom dick and harry thats a w**** sorry to tell u. and thats not a relationship shes prob just using you...are you paying all the bills?...if not she's using you somehow...no decent respectable woman would conduct herself in such ill manner.

And as i said why do you feel you deserve something so low and something that doesn't constitute as a relationship. Most men and women would NEVER tolerate such behavior in a "relationship" because they know they deserve better. I think its something psychological that makes people settle and tolerate for that type of behavior...I mean if your "happy" thats on you but thats not a normal healthy relationship. For anyone.

And some conservative Republicans believe your sexual relationships are akin to pedophilia and bestiality. Armed with that knowledge, you may wish to reflect on your ignorance and intolerance.

 

[discreetlatin76]

oh snap! hahaha

 

[discreetlatin76]

Loose morals? Well I guess it would depend on what you consider moral. Also I'm wondering if you can call someone who jacks off with another person a whore. Maybe a slut? Hand-whore? Masturbahomewrecker?

I don't need anybody to make me feel good. I was wondering what other people felt about it and was questioning why I wasn't feeling much guilt considering the outrage and screams of w**** and other faith-based crybabyisms.

I actually have a married guy coming over tonight who enjoys looking at porn about gloryholes. He's always been curious about guys and is finally acting out on it. Maybe i'll ask him if he would invite his wife over?

 

[bankside]

Loose morals? Well I guess it would depend on what you consider moral. Also I'm wondering if you can call someone who jacks off with another person a whore. Maybe a slut? Hand-whore? Masturbahomewrecker?

I don't need anybody to make me feel good. I was wondering what other people felt about it and was questioning why I wasn't feeling much guilt considering the outrage and screams of w**** and other faith-based crybabyisms.

I actually have a married guy coming over tonight who enjoys looking at porn about gloryholes. He's always been curious about guys and is finally acting out on it. Maybe i'll ask him if he would invite his wife over?

My question wasn't just some kind of set-up, I was serious. If she's into it, it sounds like a hot time, have fun, you're doing nothing wrong.. Even if she just knows about it and is okay with it then it's all good.

I do know a good looking couple (straight couple but both bi) where she came right out and said they both have other friends with benefits and then kind of hinted about things.

But you know that most married people don't have that kind of relationship. They sign up to be with each other only. Nobody makes them make that promise. If they don't want to, they shouldn't in the first place. If they don't like it, then they either talk it out or get a divorce. But they can't just go and get some on the side with you.

If that is what these guys are doing, they are lowlife assholes. Don't help them, because you'd be helping an asshole fuck someone over, and you should feel bad about that.

So I'm serious - invite her to come along and see what the reaction is (BEFORE you hook up with these guys). You probably won't have to look far before you find couples that are into that, and you can have a hot time with him while she's cheering you on. I got an offer when I wasn't looking for it and didn't really even want it.

No religious rants, no insults, but there is a right and wrong answer to this - you did ask after all, and the only right answer is "everybody knows."