Married men who fool around, but love their wives...

[Piquechampion]

Please define love. How do you love them by going behind their backs??? Aren´t ya´ll breaking your wedding vows??? Please explain

 

[mascbiguy]

oh this is a loaded Question.

i would say 90% of it is not having the courage to come out and live life as who you were born to be.

just my .2

 

[BiBlackMan]

Not only is the question loaded, it's unanswerable - perhaps even unfair. Unfortunately, life isn't that simple. People cheat on their spouses, partners, etc... all the time, whether straight, gay or bi.

 

[Piquechampion]

Like my dad's friend he'll flat out hit on me, flirt with me, and cruise me in front of my parents and his wife!

Yet I've called him out on it and he says he's "straight" and not into men sexually at all.

What a creep :X

 

[Piquechampion]

^ As I´m currently dating a woman, as of now Im hetero. When, and If, I date a guy, I will be gay.

Sorry, with a few honorable exceptions (namely YOU and a very few other guys), bis here in JUB give such a Bad Rep to the term, that I decided not to label myself Bi anymore.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Well, a lot of "committed" gay men fool around, and profess to love their partners....

It's just human nature.

 

[Romantico]

Bisexuals are such easy targets. Heterosexuals and homosexuals cheat.
For every guy or girl its different. I have never once cheated. I feel my bisexuality has made me more honest and a better person.Whats bisexual to one person could be different to another.Just like in some marriages its arranged that the others are allowed to have flings.I don't understand that and thats not for me. However, I don't judge others who do that either.

I could NEVER fool around if I had a wife. I'm too selfish. I want to give my love to one person only.I'd be to worn out to give it to more than one person!

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Simply, because men have easily have sex without falling in love. We simply want to get our rocks off and, if a suitable occasion presents itself, we usually go for it.

SC

 

[Eagle653]

Please define love. How do you love them by going behind their backs??? Aren´t ya´ll breaking your wedding vows??? Please explain

Your question rests of a false premise: that sex=love, when in fact they are two distinct things.

Many people get married for many reasons, of which love is often a factor. Yet, attractions towards members of the same sex may, or may not, be conscious. And, if they are, they're often thought to be a big, bad secret not to be shared. The younger the couple, the more common this reasoning of thought.

I don't think a married man who has sex with other men does not necessarily love his wife. I think he can, and does, have a great deal of love for her. I think he's acting out an ever-increasing drive to have male contact too. If he keeps it on a physical level ("just get my rocks off") then there's never much of a threat. The problem is, one has the capacity to fall in love when whomever one is physically attracted to. In many cases, it goes beyond just "getting rocks off" to developing feelings and emotions for the guy (especially if it's a friend or regular partner). Then, conflict can and does arise and choices have to be made.

 

[Piquechampion]

Your question rests of a false premise: that sex=love, when in fact they are two distinct things.

Many people get married for many reasons, of which love is often a factor. Yet, attractions towards members of the same sex may, or may not, be conscious. And, if they are, they're often thought to be a big, bad secret not to be shared. The younger the couple, the more common this reasoning of thought.

I don't think a married man who has sex with other men does not necessarily love his wife. I think he can, and does, have a great deal of love for her. I think he's acting out an ever-increasing drive to have male contact too. If he keeps it on a physical level ("just get my rocks off") then there's never much of a threat. The problem is, one has the capacity to fall in love when whomever one is physically attracted to. In many cases, it goes beyond just "getting rocks off" to developing feelings and emotions for the guy (especially if it's a friend or regular partner). Then, conflict can and does arise and choices have to be made.

Yeah, but love=respect, in my book at least... and screwing around (some even in nasty public toilets), excuse me, is NOT having respect either for yourself, your wife or your family. Besides love is sacrifice, and these guys are not sacrificing an ounce of their sexual satisfaction, they are having their cake and eating it too.

So, my question is, if you know you are gonna fool around (with either men or women), why get married??? Why make some vows, that by your actions will become empty???

 

[pinest]

Some people just want thier cake and eat it too.Those ones are never trully happy.Always searching.Never satisfied.Completley self centered.

 

[JackFTwist]

I was married when I realized I was gay. It is possible. You look back and say, how deeply did I bury that! How could I have missed it! But it happens when you are so focused on being straight. And I loved my wife, I married here honestly and with all love.

It took a few years to work this whole thing through - my partner was married and a friend who often joined us was married. At the time that seemed right, sex is just sex, etc - but I was troubled over the fact that I was cheating on my wife in a very real sense.

In ended with my partner and I getting divorced, and then being together. It had to end that way. If one has to go for sex outside of marriage, then there is something that is missing in what marriage is to be, something that keeps the fullness of expression from happening between spouses. And whatever that missing thing is, it is destructive to marriage and to say otherwise is - in my opinion and experience - a cop out for coming to grips to the reality of cheating and the failure of the marriage to be what is is meant to be.

That third married friend - he is still married and he still likes to get some cock now and again and I have utterly no respect for him. He's not happy, but he has preserved his marriage in public and done well in business and if he were honest to himself and the world, maybe it wouldn't of been so financially successful. But I know he sold out his soul for the image and money, and she is not happy, but she too wants the gold ring so they live their less than happy lives with the knowledge that they both sold out.

Me, I have a lot less money than they do, and my partner and I are long history now, but I have my integrity and my honor and my freedom to be happy and that is more than any married man who wants cock on the side has.

 

[Auburn]

Indecisive lovers whether they're bi, gay, or straight simply don't make good lovers at all in my opinion. Great for sexual liasions yes, but not worth my time when it comes to matters of the heart. Fact of the matter is though is that if you're dating a man (gay, bi, or straight) you had better brace yourself for the day when you find out he's been sleeping around on you. I suspect, regretfully, that the truly faithful male is on the verge of extinction.
Sometimes I wonder why even bother getting into a relationship.

I tend to agree with you, ljhotboy...Its a tough pill to swallow but there are so many cheaters out there that its hard to believe there are guys who don't cheat, but they are out there!! I just think its sad how many gay men complain that they want monogamy, but then they get in a relationship and cheat on their partner. LOL the gay community isn't that big, so you would think all these complaining men would be able to find each other but they can't

 

[kayman23]

I do find it sad that someone would go through with a marriage and still cheat on their wives. Marriage is about the committment to that person and remaining faithfully.

 

[ejbonk]

Your question rests of a false premise: that sex=love, when in fact they are two distinct things.

Many people get married for many reasons, of which love is often a factor. Yet, attractions towards members of the same sex may, or may not, be conscious. And, if they are, they're often thought to be a big, bad secret not to be shared. The younger the couple, the more common this reasoning of thought.

I don't think a married man who has sex with other men does not necessarily love his wife. I think he can, and does, have a great deal of love for her. I think he's acting out an ever-increasing drive to have male contact too. If he keeps it on a physical level ("just get my rocks off") then there's never much of a threat. The problem is, one has the capacity to fall in love when whomever one is physically attracted to. In many cases, it goes beyond just "getting rocks off" to developing feelings and emotions for the guy (especially if it's a friend or regular partner). Then, conflict can and does arise and choices have to be made.

I agree with you. He is confusing sex=love. However,There are Bi-guys (and Gay )that are closeted and fear losing their wife,kids,home,etc,etc..... So,men on the side is their anwser to a need that is both physical and on some level emotional.
I feel that when 2 men have sex,we are (at times)bonding on a level most men are afraid to achieve.
Some men do have ltr partners on the side.
The ones that work best(unfortuantely) are 2 married BI/Gay guys,who on the surface are friends in front of the wivies and family and are lovers behind closed(closet)doors.But ,these are very few and far between.
I have only seen /and met 2 couples in that type of situation. One was 2 guys in their late 20's and the other 2 where in their late 50's. Both had been lovers since high school.

It is not our place to judge. To each their own. Peace and Love Man.

 

[naughtypiscesboi84]

Well first of all I doubt I will ever get married (a fantasy idea of love and happiness IMO), but if I did I wouldn't mind if my husband liked to be with a man from time to time. I would just demand that he did it safely and returned home with all the details

Also, if he ever wanted me to be apart of the fun then I'd most likely contribute to his pleasure. I wouldn't be too concerned with getting off myself. But... my favorite thing is to sit on a man's face while he gets fucked. Mmm

My hypothetical husband had just better be honest with me. That way it wouldn't be cheating. I hate cheating/dishonesty although I have cheated before. When I got cheated on, I ate my nice plate of karma and cried for two weeks straight. What goes around comes around. I will never cheat again.

I think that's a wonderful attitude to have. If I had a wife (or even a girlfriend) I could really appreciate her having this quality. Would definitely let her join in my fun when possible. Would also love it if sometime she'd bring a close (and open minded) girlfriend to the bed too. That way we could explore the pleasures of same sex loving together. It would be pretty hot being side-by-side with a girl I loved, me sucking cock and her eating pussy. It's a fantasy of mine actually.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

SilverCloud-You don't know the women that I do.

The idea that women always want romance/emotion with sex and that men just simply want sex is based on outdated gender roles and misogyny.

I have absolutely no doubt that there are many women out there, who would be more than happy to have sex without romance/emotion. Nope, I do not see it as an absolutely exclusive male domain. Not at all.

Yet, when you look at the scope of the things, a very different picture emerges.

As we all know, men cruise for sex. Beaches, ABSs, restrooms, backrooms of the bars, clubs, spas. Even in public parks and in shopping malls in many cities. The phenomenon is very massive and practically universal.

There are very few parks, ABSs, beaches, etc., if any, I can think of, where women cruise men for sex (without payment). A straight friend of mine used to say, 'if there was a park, where women cruised men for sex, the way you guys cruise each other, they'd have to build a highway exit there.'

There is a whole different issue of quality involved here...

SC

 

[Lostlover]

That's true. I just wrote my reply since I do know men who are really gay and married to women where they try to be "straight" but everyone knows that they're not, and it's REALLY obvious.

Like my dad's friend he'll flat out hit on me, flirt with me, and cruise me in front of my parents and his wife!

Yet I've called him out on it and he says he's "straight" and not into men sexually at all.

Seen that before.

Some people just need to come out the closet like Andy Dick. He's not fooling anyone. If you have to think of a guy when you're making luv to your wife well you're gay.

Those types are the first to be homophobes too I noticed.

James

 

[flixelblix]

First, wife and I have an understanding. She can play with girls and I can play with guys. Second, I've never been in love with a guy, I just have an overpowering urge for a good stiff dick. I played with a guy in junior high school but not since.

My first wife was openly bi and had sex with many women while married to me. We also had a threesome with a guy who gave me head though I never returned the favor.

Marriage isn't about what you promise in church, marriage is all about what you promise each other. My wife doesn't care what I do, nor do I care what she does (or who) so we are not cheating on each other.

 

[ejbonk]

sounds like an open,honest,caring,andloving relationship to me.

First, wife and I have an understanding. She can play with girls and I can play with guys. Second, I've never been in love with a guy, I just have an overpowering urge for a good stiff dick. I played with a guy in junior high school but not since.

My first wife was openly bi and had sex with many women while married to me. We also had a threesome with a guy who gave me head though I never returned the favor.

Marriage isn't about what you promise in church, marriage is all about what you promise each other. My wife doesn't care what I do, nor do I care what she does (or who) so we are not cheating on each other.