Masculine guys who prefer fem guys

[SilverWolf]

straight and straight acting are two different things.

straight means you fuck women.
straight acting means you don't display traits that are indicative of a feminine male.

it's not a great term but it's essentially the same as masculine.

No its not.

Straight acting means you act like a straight guy. What straight guy goes around picking up men?

Straight acting is basically saying being straight is masculine and the socially correct behavior for men. Which is untrue because gays can be masculine as well even though they do not pick up women.

 

[altlover85]

I would think that for the guys with feminine voices it's mostly a biological thing, but there are probably some environmental factors as well. I'm not an expert on this by any means though.

It's worth noting that iif you want to change your voice, you can. Rock Hudson did.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

How are those not your words? You were asked when athletic competition is a measurement of masculinity and you said it pretty much always has been and it shows by looking at how much sex masculine guys get.

i used that as an analogy to indicate that people are attracted to displays of masculinity. i.e. that's why the football star gets laid 24/7 and the chess club guy didn't. i didn't pass judgement that the amount of sex someone has is the ultimate guage of their worth - i simply noted that the two are related - and right or wrong, you can't disagree that the stigma exists or that guys who display hypermasculinity tend to attract a flock of potential mates.

i know what i said. i don't need anybody to interpret it how they like and post stupid little emoticons of eye rolls or finger waving. my words are my own. his words are his. yours are yours.

 

[fetaby]

No its not.

Straight acting means you act like a straight guy. What straight guy goes around picking up men?

Straight acting is basically saying being straight is masculine and the socially correct behavior for men. Which is untrue because gays can be masculine as well even though they do not pick up women.

Straight acting is the compensation for not fitting into the heteronormative scheme of things. When in fact it just screams closet.

Straight acting is not knowing what gay is...

 

[altlover85]

Cause the ultimate measure on any being is if that person is having sex... nothing else matters. At all. Ever.

if that's how you choose to interpret what i said - go ahead. but these are YOUR words, not mine.

I think fetaby is engaging in some hyperbole.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

No its not.

Straight acting means you act like a straight guy. What straight guy goes around picking up men?

Straight acting is basically saying being straight is masculine and the socially correct behavior for men. Which is untrue because gays can be masculine as well even though they do not pick up women.

if you're suggesting that if on a site like grindr or manhunt etc - when you see in a gay men's profile that he's "straight acting" that that means he goes around picking up women (because he wants to act straight) - you're absolutely retarded. that's not what it means at all.

it means he's suggesting that he can pass as straight - i.e. masculine. not feminine. his actual sexual behaviour isn't even an issue.

 

[altlover85]

Straight acting is the compensation for not fitting into the heteronormative scheme of things. When in fact it just screams closet.

Straight acting is not knowing what gay is...

Neither of you or boxerdudeuk are going to agree about this. Why do both of you have to keep hammering the same points back and forth?

He won't see it from your eyes and you won't see it from his.

if you're suggesting that if on a site like grindr or manhunt etc - when you see in a gay men's profile that he's "straight acting" that that means he goes around picking up women (because he wants to act straight) - you're absolutely retarded. that's not what it means at all.

it means he's suggesting that he can pass as straight - i.e. masculine. not feminine. his actual sexual behaviour isn't even an issue.

I think some people have an issue with the idea that passing for straight has evolved into a short-hand in the gay community as opposed to using the word masculine.

But why are you arguing when they won't change your mind and you won't change theirs?

 

[SilverWolf]

i used that as an analogy to indicate that people are attracted to displays of masculinity.

You said how much sex one can potentially get is usually an indicator of masculinity for example comparing jocks and nerds. That's basically saying a man's worth is measured by how much sex he can get. Because masculinity is usually how men are judged.

Not that I believe that bs, but that's usually what happens.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

That's basically saying a man's worth is measured by how much sex he can get.

see? that's YOU saying that. i still don't see where I said it.

you can "basically" interpret whatever the fuck you want. but don't say I said it.

 

[fetaby]

Neither of you or boxerdudeuk are going to agree about this. Why do both of you have to keep hammering the same points back and forth?

He won't see it from your eyes and you won't see it from his.



I think some people have an issue with the idea that passing for straight has evolved into a short-hand in the gay community as opposed to using the word masculine.

But why are you arguing when they won't change your mind and you won't change theirs?

I'm not writing for boxerdudeuk. He's a grown man who is free to choose whatever it is he wants to believe.

I'm writing these things for that person who is reading that has been picked on and passed over for the "football star." That person who is questioning themselves because they aren't attacted to women and that is turning everything else on it's ear. What I'm saying is that you don't have to fit into the jock or nerd or musician mold, and that you're worth more than the ability to get fucked. That despite the attitude that has been washed all over this forum for the past few weeks, whoever you are there is someone out there who is going to like you, just for being you.

 

[altlover85]

I'm not writing for boxerdudeuk. He's a grown man who is free to choose whatever it is he wants to believe.

I'm writing these things for that person who is reading that has been picked on and passed over for the "football star." That person who is questioning themselves because they aren't attacted to women and that is turning everything else on it's ear. What I'm saying is that you don't have to fit into the jock or nerd or musician mold, and that you're worth more than the ability to get fucked. That despite the attitude that has been washed all over this forum for the past few weeks, whoever you are there is someone out there who is going to like you, just for being you.

Then why not start your own thread about the topic?

 

[SilverWolf]

if you're suggesting that if on a site like grindr or manhunt etc - when you see in a gay men's profile that he's "straight acting" that that means he goes around picking up women (because he wants to act straight) - you're absolutely retarded. that's not what it means at all.

I said straight acting implies that masculinity is equated with straight men. Which implies straight is equated with masculinity and gay is not. Read between the words or not, its there. Acknowledge its there or refuse to. But it appears you made your choice...

it means he's suggesting that he can pass as straight - i.e. masculine.

This is what I'm saying. Its equating masculinity with being straight. And its wrong period.

But hey! Thanks for saying I'm absolutely retarded.

see? that's YOU saying that. i still don't see where I said it.

you can "basically" interpret whatever the fuck you want. but don't say I said it.

Is that not what usually happens? Are men not judged by their masculinity? If they are, then what I said has merit. You equate the measure of a man with how much sex they get, even if you don't see it.

 

[fetaby]

Then why not start your own thread about the topic?

Is this not the Masculine guys who prefer fem guys thread?

Also, nobody reads my threads, but Justlove gets all the

 

[bulge]

The French summer Big Brother "Secret Story" features a fem boy (une folle). Lately I heard two str8 guys at work saying: "Ce mec-là, il est trop chou." (that guy is too lovely). One also said he watched only because of him. I work in the oil sector (not exactly a sissy sector, rather macho all claiming the biggest balls) with no woman on the team at all, which makes it still more astonishing. They aren't derogatory at all for the guy. On the contrary. I have to admit I like the guy too, though I thought in the beginning it was bad stuff for gays once again, but that seems not the case at all. I didn't watch much before but now I try to watch every time. He simply plays himself. Astonishing. I have to admit I would hold in in my arms and more without any problem.

http://www.7sur7.be/7s7/fr/1540/Tel...tory-Benoit-a-fait-une-fellation-a-John.dhtml

 

[benners]

If you look at my boyfriend and myself, I'm clearly the more "feminine" of the pairing.

HIM:

ME:

And unlike Justlove856 would have anyone believe, I think our pairing, and others like us, is more common than things like--oh, I don't know--unicorn sightings. Here is some photographic evidence for Justlove856--just in case.

When I told my boyfriend about this thread, his reply was that he was interested in me because of substance. (I'm sure such a concept is lost on the O.P.) My boyfriend likes things about me that aren't as superficial as the fact that I am more on the feminine side. It's not about "feeling like a man" for him, it's that I'm intelligent, funny, motivated, etc. and I just happen to be feminine. He's pretty macho without me being girly.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

the private comments i've received about these threads would indicate that more people feel the same way i do than you'd be lead to believe. however, they choose to voice their feelings privately, whereas i don't care how people interpret what i say.

i DO, however, find it kinda funny that while there's a bunch of guys here vehemently defending that feminine men are equals, are strong, spirited and unafraid to wear their sexuality on their sleeves (which they are - i'm not calling anyone a second class citizen) are the very ones quick to hurl insults such as "He's (BlueDragon) the type who starts clutching his pearls the moment anyone so much as steps on his toes."

that sounds a lot like when perez hilton called Will I Am a faggot and everyone freaked out.

you're reinforcing that you KNOW a feminine edged bite like that causes a sting - no matter how fast you are to admonish those who say they aren't sexually attracted to feminine men etc, or prefer masculine attributes in their lovers. talk about punching your own argument in the teeth.

at the end of the day, i don't really care how people interpret what i say here. i know how i feel about it, i'm not putting anyone down by saying i'm not attracted to certain characteristics - because everybody has different tastes and likes/dislikes.

 

[benners]

Um, sorry, but that's not my experience at all, and unless you have definitive proof
outside of your little Utopian relationship, I'd said it's misleading to make general assumptions about Masculine vs Feminine pairings. Personally, I don't know of any Masculine guys who are dating Feminine guys. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying there's not alot of evidence to support your claim of "those relationships being common".

...Like the general assumption that no masculine guys date feminine guys? Funny how that general assumption wasn't graced with one of your highly educated critiques.

And, I think it's reaching to say my claim was as finite as "those relationships [are] common", when in actuality, I said:

... I think our pairing, and others like us, is more common than things like--oh, I don't know--unicorn sightings.

Admittedly, I have no idea what the unicorn population is like in your area.

 

[SilverWolf]

the private comments i've received about these threads would indicate that more people feel the same way i do than you'd be lead to believe. however, they choose to voice their feelings privately, whereas i don't care how people care to interpret what i say.

I'm fully aware of how popular your opinion is. And if you think that because people agree with you, you must be right, that's funny. But don't worry, there are more people than currently posting in this thread who agree with a lot of what I say as well. So it evens out.

(which they are - i'm not calling anyone a second class citizen)

You don't but some of comments are usually filled with biting remark or insult in them, even if you say you are OK with them.

are the very ones quick to hurl insults such as "He's (BlueDragon) the type who starts clutching his pearls the moment anyone so much as steps on his toes."

I don't believe I've ever said anything about Bluedragon.

you're reinforcing that you KNOW a feminine edged bite like that causes a sting - no matter how fast you are to admonish those who say they aren't sexually attracted to feminine men etc, or prefer masculine attributes in their lovers. talk about punching your own argument in the teeth.

The fact that you perceive this as a comment on who you like is laughable.

No.

Its the various comments you and others make. Its always "I'm OK with fems even if they are a mess. If they are catty bitches. Or you expect nothing less when one of them does something stupid. These are usually filled pre faced with "I'm OK with them" or some other disclaimer. Why you think its OK to say that and not expect someone, to say something is beyond me. Even if others post and myself post how the attitude is very similar to those dislike gays and say dismissing remarks about us, it somehow can't be true because you and others always have the disclaimer I'm not against them or something similar.

Hell I remarked about this in another thread. Its never just what you like. Its always what you like followed by whatever you don't like is a mess or insert something negative.

For example in the Scally/Chav vs Indie/Emo thread, you remarked Scally was hot and Emo was a mess.

Not to mention the I expect nothing less from drag queens comment.

That's what I'm talking about. Its usually whatever you don't like is a mess. But you probably won't see that.

Why you think think those comments are acceptable and pointing how insulting they can be, is somehow an attack on who you like is beyond me.

I'm sure you think me saying this is somehow attacking your preferences.

at the end of the day, i don't really care how people interpret what i say here. i know how i feel about it, i'm not putting anyone down by saying i'm not attracted to certain characteristics - because everybody has different tastes and likes/dislikes.

Uh-huh.

 

[benners]

Touche'

Only after I posted the comment, I noticed you compared your experience to Unicorns..
So I now see your greater point....sowry

It's cool.

EDIT: I apologize for my earlier cattiness.

I like this guy benners. He gets it.

Hooray!--Validation.

 

[benners]

No no, I totally deserved it for mis-characterizing your point....


Oh um, BTW - your Boyfriend is cute.......watch your back..

Hehe. Thank you. And after two years together, I've grown relatively accustomed to it.