The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

Masculine Men In The Closet

Marco Sensual

Marco Sensual

JUB Addict
Joined
Mar 3, 2007
Posts
1,289
Reaction score
23
Points
38
Location
Montreal
Why masculine gay men seems to be the 1 who have the hardest time to admit that they are gay?

Of course a lot of masculine gay men are not in the closet.But when you see men in the closet.It looks like gay men who are in the closet are the masculine 1.

Men who are not masculine seems to be the 1 who wants to show that they are gay.They dont wants to be in the closet at all.

Why some masculine gay men have to hide that they are gay?

They are aware that they are gay but they still wants to playing it straight.

Do you think that they are afraid of what straight people will saying?

Do you think that they are ashamed?

Why so much gay men in denial?

Today.Gay men have no reasons to stay in the closet.Because gay men are more tolerated.So why masculine gay men would wants to stay in the closet when they are aware that gay men are tolerated?

Theres a lot of masculine gay men in the closet.









 
Each and every guy, (gay or not) has his own reasons and a story to boot.

Consider the following:

#1
Why would my sexual life be a matter of general and public interest? I'd rather keep it private, if you do not mind. And so will millions of other people. People, who need to know, do know. People who spill their beans with me, get the same in return.

#2
Coming out is always an option. Once it is exercised, there is no return. Why would I wish to limit my scope of action, if you will? I hunt my men down and need no one's help in getting partners. I am not into general advertising either.

#3
How are the people supposed to react to your coming out? I would find their approval entirely superfluous. I am an independent man and my pleasures depend on no one's approvals or permissions.

I would also find their disapproval entirely irrelevant for the reasons stated above.

#4
I absolutely do not go around telling people that I am straight. None of my straight friends does that either. Quite a few desirable gay dudes are obsessed with servicing a 'str8' guy. If they happen to perceive me as one, good for them, and good for me, too. If people want to believe in something, despite all the patent evidence at hand against it, it is their inalienable right to do so and it is equally my right to put the folly of the others to work for my benefit.

I am sure, other dudes will come up with their own reasons, too.

SC
 
I'm a masculine guy that is in the closet. I can't speak for everyone but the reason I'm in the closet and probably wont come out too soon is like you said most guys I see personally that are out of the closet are feminine . I know it is wrong to do so but I feel on some level that to be out would make me feminine also. I just don't see any openly masculine gay guys I could relate to. Perhaps if there were then I would be more comfortable. I don't know. It feels as though if I came out I would be totally alone.
 
Interesting question. I'm a masculine gay guy and I'm out of the closet. But I can relate to what trigger22 said. I stayed in the closet for very much the same reasons.
It was only when I stopped looking at being gay as something negative that I was able to come out. In other words gay does not equal bad. Being gay is just that...being gay.
Trigger22, just so that you know, there are a lot of masculine gay guys out there. The only thing is, it's very hard to find them when you're in the closet.
 
What does it take to be "in" or "out" exactly? I don't wear rainbow flags or tell people I'm gay at the drop of a hat, but I certainly don't say I'm straight. It rarely comes up in conversation, and if it does, it's normally a surprise to those that don't know me that well. Those that have met me in person can attest to this.

My boss is gay and we continually discuss this issue regularly. He's vocally gay and champions the cause. I just tend to think who I find attractive and want to have sex with to be my own business. If I'm with like minded company, I'm more apt to share that side of me with you, but I'm not going to be running around on the street telling people I'm gay.

Gay men are more accepted than they were in the past, in parts of the world. In the US, it really depends on where you are. I live in a city where you can be both praised and hated for being gay. It's not politically incorrect to be anti-gay. It's a staple of popular political campaigns here, and it garners lots of public support.
 
trigger22 said:
I'm a masculine guy that is in the closet. I can't speak for everyone but the reason I'm in the closet and probably wont come out too soon is like you said most guys I see personally that are out of the closet are feminine . I know it is wrong to do so but I feel on some level that to be out would make me feminine also. I just don't see any openly masculine gay guys I could relate to. Perhaps if there were then I would be more comfortable. I don't know. It feels as though if I came out I would be totally alone.
Click to expand...

Your motives are wrong to stay in the closet.

You cant stay in the closet only because you dont see masculine gay men that are out.Its like you were saying.I like the movie Fright Night but i dont want that people know that i like this movie until i see people i know like this movie as well.Then.If people i know like Fright Night.I will feel comfortable saying to them that i like this movie.

You dont have to wait that people you know likes Fright Night to tell them that you like this movie.

Its the same thing with you in the closet.Even if you dont see masculine gay men out of the closet yet.You can came out.You would eventually see masculine gay men that came out anyway.

Somehow you must be ashamed of stereotypes and you dont want to be linked to them.

You can get out of the closet.





 
I'm not qualified to answer the question.






We need a limp-wristed smiley or something...
 
Probably because less masculine guys CAN'T stay in the closet. Everyone gives them the "you're not fooling anyone - we all know you're gay" routine. With more masculine guys, there's at least some doubt, which makes staying in the closet at least an option.

Lex
 
Who wouldn't be ashamed of stereotypes? They are characteristics erroneously applied to a people. And again... what's considered being in the closet here?

The very reason masculine guys get away with "being in the closet", where "being in the closet" = not appearing gay, is because they don't tend to exhibit the stereotypical behaviors people link to being gay.

You can't really relate telling someone you're gay to telling them you like a scary movie, especially when you don't seem gay to outsiders.

I am intrigued with the changes in ones life when they are "out of the closet". What exactly do they do differently?


When I first realized I was gay back when I was 15 I quickly feared I'd be perceived as feminine or somehow turn into a stereotype. Over time, learned to accept who I was and came to realize I wasn't going to turn into a stereotype by coming out. If anything, I would help shatter people's perceptions of people that are gay. It's just one of many aspects of myself.

It helps to come out, but it's totally your call. Everyone's situation is different, and only you know when it's the right time and with whom.
 
Please give me some reasons why I should come out...
 
flood22 said:
Who wouldn't be ashamed of stereotypes? They are characteristics erroneously applied to a people. And again... what's considered being in the closet here?

The very reason masculine guys get away with "being in the closet", where "being in the closet" = not appearing gay, is because they don't tend to exhibit the stereotypical behaviors people link to being gay.

You can't really relate telling someone you're gay to telling them you like a scary movie, especially when you don't seem gay to outsiders.

I am intrigued with the changes in ones life when they are "out of the closet". What exactly do they do differently?


When I first realized I was gay back when I was 15 I quickly feared I'd be perceived as feminine or somehow turn into a stereotype. Over time, learned to accept who I was and came to realize I wasn't going to turn into a stereotype by coming out. If anything, I would help shatter people's perceptions of people that are gay. It's just one of many aspects of myself.

It helps to come out, but it's totally your call. Everyone's situation is different, and only you know when it's the right time and with whom.
Click to expand...

Its obvious that gay men hates stereotypes.Mostly masculine gay men.

I think that gay masculine men who are in the closet should get over stereotypes.If there were no stereotypes.Masculine gay men would most likely not be in the closet.So they would be comfortable to admit that they are gay.

Stereotypes are there to stay anyway.Gay men are possibly the most stereotyped.

Im masculine.Im gay.

I came out when i was 14.I was aware of stereotypes but i never care about them.For me it was easy to say im gay.

Masculine gay men obviously dont wants to be linked to stereotypes.The best thing that masculine gay men could do is not care about stereotypes.Gay masculine men should get over it.Gay men will always have stereotypes.So its better to deal with it or gay masculine men will always be in the closet.

Gay masculine men should not forbid themselves of being gay only because of stereotypes.

Some masculine gay men will take years before coming out and some will never coming out.So you see that masculine gay men have problems with stereotypes.

Theres too much masculine gay men in denial.These gay men should be comfortable of coming out.Mostsly when they are aware that they are tolerated.

Its hard to understand that some masculine gay men wants to stay in the closet only to not fit with stereotypes.Its not worth it.

Masculine gay men should get out of the closet.












 
Softmen - I think coming out is a very personal decision

I guess if more gay men came out there would be less of a need for the majoirty to "hide"

In that sense coming out is desirable for the community
Regardless you cant make folks come out just because it worked for you.
Masculine or feminine - many of us just dont feel the need to be wearing our homosexuality on our sleeves

We value job security, privacy and perhaps even in a funny way modesty

I know I wont be out. Call me names if you want to
Hell I wont even post a picture of me on JUB
 
tommyharley said:
Softmen, too your first post i would say they dont want to come out because of the feminine attitudes they think will be attached to them if they do. Its what worried me. Infact one of my closest friends who i told actually said to me that it was cool but was i going to start dressing up in drag.
Its the image of that type of gay person i think they are scared of people assosiating with them if they come out.
But ive come to realise that the 'camp' type of gay man is a minority compared to the other gay guys i see at clubs.
thats my view.
Click to expand...

Media dont help.

Most of the time in tv shows or movies with gay men you see feminine men.Most of the time you see stereotypes.It should be the opposite.Because most gay men are masculine.

When masculine gay men see these tv shows and movies with stereotypes.These gay men will often stay in the closet.Because they dont want that straight people think that they are like that.

Masculine gay men should be aware that most gay men are masculine.So they should not have problems to coming out.

Masculine gay men have insecurities for no reasons.

Masculine gay men should not care about being linked to feminine men.Feminine men are not bad men anyway.So theres no problems.

Masculinity is too important for gay men.Gay masculine men cant expect to see only masculine men.

Most gay men are masculine.So gay masculine men should be able to come out of the closet.











 
I think flood22 has a point though. What do we mean by "out?" My definition of out is when you stop pretending to be straight. When you don't feel ashamed of who you are.

I consider myself out because when I speak to someone, I don't apply the "gay filter" anymore. In other words, if the topic of conversation is say, relationships, even if I'm with a group of acquaintances (ie. friends of friends) I'll use my own experiences. "When my boyfriend and I were together..." rather than "When I was dating someone..."

I don't go around screaming and yelling that I'm gay. I'm considered "out" because I'm not pretending to be straight.

bluedragonfly, if you're happy living in the closet, then don't come out. But at some point if you start to feel like you're living a lie, or that you're trapped in some kind of box because parents, family and friends are pressuring you to date women and/or marry...you may want to come out of the closet. Until then, enjoy the closet and its comforts. It's hard to leave the closet because it really is comfortable. I only left the closet because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top