Mate that could be gay/bi

[eat-my-goal]

Hey there,

Managed to have a chat with him yesterday. Basically first of all I asked straight off if he was gay, he went red and again he denied it out right. So I told him there's nowt to be embarressed about and told him that I am bi-sexual myself. He finally opened up and we had a great talk and then went and got pissed. He seemed happier within himself since telling someone.

Cheers anyways

 

[Singularity]

I told you so.

 

[PSCGuy]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad things worked out well for you guys.

 

[screwnutty]

Hey there,

Managed to have a chat with him yesterday. Basically first of all I asked straight off if he was gay, he went red and again he denied it out right. So I told him there's nowt to be embarressed about and told him that I am bi-sexual myself. He finally opened up and we had a great talk and then went and got pissed. He seemed happier within himself since telling someone.

Cheers anyways

Congrats. Now you know where you stand. You have a friend who understands. Congrats on opening up to him and congrats to him for trusting you. Looking forward to updates every now and then.

 

[eat-my-goal]

only problem now is that he wants me and him to get together, which i'd be all for if I wasn't with anyone but that's the way it is

 

[screwnutty]

well your both still young so it could happen. You like him and he likes you...just your in another relationship right now. I'd tell him your flattered but that your with somebody, but maybe in the near future.

course it depends on how things are going with your girlfriend too? How are things with you two (girlfriend) if i may ask.

 

[luismex911]

well you have to ask yourself if you are still in love with your girlfriend, because if your not you have to end the relationship with her, and if you are in love with you friend, you can start to dating him

 

[tallguy297]

Great work mate...and congrats!!!

And congrats again on the strength of your morals too... thats pretty bloody awesome! Standing by your girl is a great thing to see!

Just be conscious of never being able to go back if things arise later on and you find yourself in a position where you guys could go further. Great friendships have been screwed up by expedient sex between mates because freindship and being comfortable was taken as something more by one or the other.

Hes lucky to have you around eat! Your a great guy and hes going to be so much better off now he can confide and trust in you! Way too go mate!

 

[eat-my-goal]

Great work mate...and congrats!!!

And congrats again on the strength of your morals too... thats pretty bloody awesome! Standing by your girl is a great thing to see!

Just be conscious of never being able to go back if things arise later on and you find yourself in a position where you guys could go further. Great friendships have been screwed up by expedient sex between mates because freindship and being comfortable was taken as something more by one or the other.

Hes lucky to have you around eat! Your a great guy and hes going to be so much better off now he can confide and trust in you! Way too go mate!

Well unfortunately last night (normally sleep over my lasses every Friday) i decided to take the advice of people on the other thread and tell her i'm bisexual. She didn't take it fantastically well and said she needed some space to think about things.

 

[screwnutty]

Well unfortunately last night (normally sleep over my lasses every Friday) i decided to take the advice of people on the other thread and tell her i'm bisexual. She didn't take it fantastically well and said she needed some space to think about things.

wow...sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say about this right now. you know. I mean the only words of encouragement I can say is that you were being completely honest with her and it's better that you told her now then her finding out later down the road. It's her lost. Remember that.

 

[eat-my-goal]

wow...sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say about this right now. you know. I mean the only words of encouragement I can say is that you were being completely honest with her and it's better that you told her now then her finding out later down the road. It's her lost. Remember that.

i'm gutted to be honest. Been texting and ringing her all day without any joy. Worst part is that I can't really tell any of my mates (well except the one this thread intended to be about) about what has happened, which is a bit of a bastard. So they are all wondering why i've been in such a bad mood tonight. Although some think it's because of the football results (which it kinda is, i'm a sunderland fan and we lost 7-1)

All I can be happy about is that I am now totally honest with her, i've told her that, and I just hope she doesn't make a big deal out of this.

Well there's always alcohol

 

[rareboy]

i've told her that, and I just hope she doesn't make a big deal out of this.

I suspect you're history.

 

[Daximus]

Sounds like she's gonna have issues with this. Sorry man, sometimes honesty doesn't pay but it's always best. If things don't turn out with you and her I think you know what to do.

 

[eat-my-goal]

I suspect you're history.

because i've told her that I am totally honest with her?

 

[screwnutty]

I won't say your history with her yet...She more then likely dealing with the fact that her boyfriend likes dick. It's a shock to the poor girl's system. Give her a few days to cool off. Stop calling her and texting her! Thats just going to keep pissing her off. Let her mind come to terms with this and then I'm sure you get a call or something about her wanting to talk. This "talk" that you guys will have will tell you for sure were your future with each other lies. Good luck.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Eat,

No... you're not history. Not yet and not by a long shot. The hard part is though that this really now is a little out of your control.

Dont ever regret being honest... your timing might be off but thats all. You have done the right thing here but for your girl shes now questioning why you told her what you did.

For her... shes wondering what it means. Are you likely to cheat? Do you really love her? Will she ever be good enough? Can she accept that you might sleep or could sleep with guys? Is she safe? WHY did you tell her now? Whats made you do it right now... do you have feelings for someone? Are you feeling guilty?

Those are the things running through her mind. Those are the questions you need to have the answers for. Right now shes just completely shocked. To her you;re not the guy she thought you were... but you know thats not the case. You know you are, you know how you feel and you know the whole story. Your job is to continue to be honest and explain to her the whole story. Your coming out to her will be the most complicated of them all.

My advice... dont call or text. Go see her. Make an effort. Do it now. This is relationship changing - it deserves more than a text. It deserves sincerity and openness and emotion. None of those things are delivered by text.

Go and see her. Dont leave until she lets you talk to her. Take her for a walk. Do whatever it takes... your relationship is worth the effort mate. You have to try.

All is not lost just yet mate... but you've gotta give this all you got if you want to save it. Good luck eat... we cant control the outcome but you can bet we are all right behind you.

 

[screwnutty]

Hey Eat,



Go and see her. Dont leave until she lets you talk to her. Take her for a walk. Do whatever it takes... your relationship is worth the effort mate. You have to try.

See, this is the tricky part. I agree with Tallguy297, except for this one point. She needs sometime to get over the shock of what you told her. The question is how long?! I agree that you need to go to her and talk to her but it's a very thin line. You have to be careful that your not going to upset her more. Less she gets even more angry with you and just decides to pull the plug on the whole relationship. She's hurt by your words...that's a given. You've wounded her. She's needs sometime but hey every relationship is different. You know her better then any of us on here. It's in your hands eat. Good luck!

 

[eat-my-goal]

It's over unfortunately. Got woke up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing, basically it was my lass asking me to come round hers at 8am (pretty early for Sunday morning altho i didn't tell her that)

Anyhow had a shit nights sleep, got up, got changed and headed round there. She kept it short and sweet, just said that she couldn't be with someone who liked lads. I tried to fight my corner but her mind appeared to be made up, I asked that considering she wanted to move in with me less than a week ago how she can turn her feelings off just because of me not being totally straight?

So that's it, i'm upset and dunno what to do with meself. Went on a 6 mile run lol straight afterwards (running is my way of calming down) but i don't really feel much better.

All ways look on the bright side of life, eh?

 

[screwnutty]

Hi Eats!

I'm sorry to her that.

Yeah look for the silver cloud in an otherwise shitty day (ie the bright side of life). I mean it's best that you found out that she couldn't deal with it now, instead of waiting for her to move in with you. She would have found out sooner or later right? You didn't really want to spend your life with her, having to had an aspect of your character. Your not at fault here. She was going to move in with you and that's a serious step in a relationship over here. You were honest. That's good. Just too bad that (for whatever reason) she couldn't see past it. It's not her fault either cause she's still young and I guess is willing to take a pass on the good things in life (you) for now.....ah to be young again!

Well I'd like to say your out of the woods but your only halfway there. Your mates are going to want to know what happened and the guy that you talked about is going to be thinking that he has a chance with you now that your a free soul again.

You may have to come out again to your mates and risk maybe lossing them too (if there not understanding). I guess it all depends on how you and your ex want to say how the relationship ended. Your mates and hers are going to want to know what happened. It's just the circle of life

Whatever happens though....remember the members of JUB are here for you! You are not alone. Good luck mate!!

 

[eat-my-goal]

Hi Eats!

I'm sorry to her that.

Yeah look for the silver cloud in an otherwise shitty day (ie the bright side of life). I mean it's best that you found out that she couldn't deal with it now, instead of waiting for her to move in with you. She would have found out sooner or later right? You didn't really want to spend your life with her, having to had an aspect of your character. Your not at fault here. She was going to move in with you and that's a serious step in a relationship over here. You were honest. That's good. Just too bad that (for whatever reason) she couldn't see past it. It's not her fault either cause she's still young and I guess is willing to take a pass on the good things in life (you) for now.....ah to be young again!

Well I'd like to say your out of the woods but your only halfway there. Your mates are going to want to know what happened and the guy that you talked about is going to be thinking that he has a chance with you now that your a free soul again.

You may have to come out again to your mates and risk maybe lossing them too (if there not understanding). I guess it all depends on how you and your ex want to say how the relationship ended. Your mates and hers are going to want to know what happened. It's just the circle of life

Whatever happens though....remember the members of JUB are here for you! You are not alone. Good luck mate!!

Well she has said that she will not tell anyone the reasons why we broke up, which is something I suppose. I've been contemplating telling some of my close friends for a while (got 5 close mates including the one who is gay/bi) so I suppose telling them the reason she split with me is a canny excuse to tell them.

It'll take time to get over her, cheers for all your support.